Chapter 196: Cuddling in the Bath
Logging out after that day was something of a relief. Mark was very happy with his new work area and the boost to his completion rate. With that, I also allowed him to show his enthusiasm for me, which left me really drained, and I went to bed after preparing a meal for when the ladies got back. I logged out after all of that.
In the shower, I washed the sweat from the pod, and the phantom sensations continued. It was almost a ritual at this point, and when I got out and walked to Gabby's room, she was happy to welcome me inside. We talked about her apprenticing and working on that. She was also looking into getting into engraving to add to it. She was talking about how it is so different from what she does in real life.
I listened, and when she was done, I smiled and told her I was happy that she got that apprenticeship in the game, as did Li. Gabby blushed a little at the mention of Li, but I turned around and walked away, now soaked with Oils all over. I got back to my room, and then, to my surprise, I saw Victoria sitting on my bed, looking odd.
"Hey," I said, "You okay?" I asked, looking at Victoria. She was sitting on my bed wearing a white shirt, lab coat, and blue jeans. She looked utterly lost in thought, and when I said my words, she looked up slowly, and her face twisted a little into an almost mocking smile.
"Am, I, Okay?" Victoria said slowly, "I am not sure," She told me much faster and let out a low chuckle. Instantly, I grew concerned and walked over to her and sat behind her. "I got a call back after a check-up this morning. I had my blood run by a friend," Victoria said, and I felt a wince.
"Okay," I said slowly, not knowing what to say or do at this moment. In the past, I had some pregnancy scares with exes that I am glad remained so, but the way Victoria was acting, I wasn't sure what it was.
"The test results said that I was pregnant for about three weeks, it seemed," Victoria said, her voice dark, and she turned to see my expression.
"Was?" I asked, unsure of how to feel at this moment.
"I miscarried. I didn't even know I was pregnant," Victoria said, her expression dark.
"If I am going, to be honest, Victoria, I have no idea how to feel," I told her, "I have no idea how you are feeling, and I don't know if I know how I will feel about this," I admitted as my stomach seemed to drop with the admittance.
Victoria started to chuckle and nodded, "I- I am not sure either," Victoria said, "I have never been sure that I want a child, let alone give birth to one. I- I don't know how I feel if it is your child, though, Rick. I am a little lost at this moment," Victoria admitted, and I stood her up.
"Come on, Let's strip and sit in the shower or in the bathtub that I never use in my bathroom, and we can question our reality there," I said, earning a small, sad chuckle from her. "We can order some drinks or something too. Let's just hang out and talk or not talk; either works for me," I said, unsure of how to handle this.
Victoria nodded, and soon we were walking together. I turned the water on hot, and the bath started to fill. Victoria leaned her head against the wall, and I dropped the towel; for once, she wasn't paying attention. I could feel her eyes on me, and I looked at her. "You know, We haven't done a thing for protection the entire time we have been together," Victoria noted.
"Yeah, I never thought about it, if I am being honest," I told her.
"I never did either. I should have," Victoria then scoffed, "I have a damn neurosurgical doctoral thesis under my belt. I can't even think of what should be grade-five sexual health. Fuck I am supposed to be a damn doctor" Victoria shook her head.
I could feel the self-loathing from her, and I walked up to her and kissed her lips. I felt some resistance but wasn't about to do a make-out session. It was a peck, and I made her look into my eyes, "It's going to be okay," I told her, still unsure about what I meant, "Come on, the bath is filling up; let's get naked and relax," I insisted.
Victoria nodded, and I helped her remove her clothing before entering the bathtub. We lay across from each other, looking into each other's eyes. It felt weird how we were situated, but I said nothing.
For a bit, we just stared at each other, and then Victoria moved over to me and curled up against my chest just under my chin. I wrapped my arms around her, and she sighed, and I felt her press up against me. "What would you have done if I was still pregnant?" Victoria asked, her voice unsure.
"No Idea," I replied, "I have Gloria, and I have no idea what she would have felt. Hell, I don't know how I feel," I told her honestly, "I am just as thrown off and don't know my feelings as you are."
"Mmm, Fair," Victoria replied and sighed again. "I feel weird, and I think we should discuss what we are doing."
"Well, I believe neither of us knows at this point, and I think now is a bad time," I told her my thoughts, "I honestly Just want to think about it for a bit. I have been kind of not been thinking about it today."
"Mmm"
"I just want to hold you and say that I would love to hear what you think," I finished, unsure of anything else.
"Mmm"
So I held her and lay there in silence with Victoria in my arms. I would turn on the hot water sometimes and drain it when it got cold. I heard a call for dinner, but I told them to set it aside. I waited and waited, and eventually, Victoria looked up at me. "Do you want a child?"
Her question rang out, and I shrugged, "I have Gloria; I am in my mid to late thirties, and my blood family I have had to disown. If I am being honest, I pay others to take care of me, and I wouldn't want to do that to a child. Do I know if I want a child of my own that is blood-related, I, I" I cut myself off and sighed, "I don't know, I never thought about it as I have been borderline asexual my entire life?"
"I'm sorry," Victoria suddenly said and shook her head, "I feel like I am doing something I don't even know that I want. Right now, our lifestyle wouldn't really accept a child either. If I am going to raise a child with you, I would want us raising it, and I am not sure I would like to spend that much time out of my dreams." Victoria said, and I could feel her getting up off my chest. Suddenly, she was looking into my eyes. "Maybe something happens later, and we do have a kid? I am not sure, but we can talk about it then. But I am loving what we are becoming and I am loving what is happening between us. I loved Grand Adventure online, and It is literally my dream coming true. I never expected to deal with a miscarriage and it kind of came from nowhere. I just never expected it and never thought about it."
I nodded, "Hey, We can think about it more, and in the future, I think, for the meantime, We have to use condoms for a bit," I told her, and Victoria scoffed.
"Fuck that, I like feeling you fill me up from time to time. Raw is the best," Victoria said as she got up, "I think I should get an IUD or something, though, if we are going to continue going raw, though."
Victoria suddenly got out of the tub and tilted her head, "I am hungry, though. Cuddle more tonight?" Victoria asked.
I smiled, and I joined her in getting up and heading to get dressed. I didn't expect what would come later.
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