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terrible dialogue terrible writing

Trash

Loki part 5 hours Tony part 2 minute

The fact that he stupidly reveals his private information ends pleasure of reading. good for you (!)

Good job

Trash episode

Trash

Most of the story is unnecessary and boring. It's been 13 episodes and we have almost nothing. You are not grateful for everyone holding back, you are still looking for stupid answers.

Most of the story is unnecessary and boring. It's been 12 episodes and we have almost nothing.

You have infinite monologue jutsu

hahahah genins are given headbands not shinobi vests

Telling the future information to someone else extinguished my enthusiasm for reading.

Everything is progressing very well. The only thing he's missing is chakra control, I think he'll learn that in the future. It should aim for absolute chakra control. He can perform chakra control training by hanging upside down from a tree with leaves on his body, hands and fingertips. And one more piece of advice: he can try to heal and strengthen YAKUMO in Kurama Clan. REİBİ(zero tail) A chakra monster that works with negative energy can seal it inside YAKUMO because Kuruma Clan's IDO produces negative energy. The kurama clan's kekkei genkai can turn the disadvantage of into an advantage.

Don't you remember itachi and shisui fighting root?

No matter what clan, there is no ninja who does not use taijutsu, my friend, fix that.

Good

Do you think there is no brainwashing in our world? It's childish of you to demonize the ninja world so much.

Danzo will catch him, right?[img=faceslap]

By using too many words, you say too little and repeat too much. This habit will tire you in the future, negatively affect your enthusiasm, and make writing difficult. You need to stop explaining the obvious. Sentences like "The aim is to learn everything that can be learned at school" are not good, yaz-san. enjoy your work. You have talent but it needs to be polished a bit[img=recommend]

I dont like oc side people.