paintedaisys - Profile

I appreciate the response and have read through it, however I don’t think you understand that even if you yourself were fat at one point in your life, it doesn’t excuse your fatphobia. Starting from chapter 4, you begin to make references to the FL’s body and how big and fat it is, which is okay, but it’s clear her body is being associated to fatness in a negative portrayal. Even if she has a health condition, that doesn’t excuse the rude language and comments about her body. Your readers can see this and feel hurt, and think about the message you’re pushing to your audience. Impact > intention. Connotating a fat body to an elephant, is rooted in fat phobia. Whether you’re being obtuse and choosing to ignore this or not, I suggest looking into your word choice. You also liked a comment saying “I see we have some unhealthy lifestyle enAblers here!” Why is it always fatness associated with unhealthy lifestyles? If as you said, the FL has a health condition making her fat then there doesn’t need to be unnecessary comments about her lifestyle being unhealthy, because if it’s a condition then she doesn’t have a choice or control over her weight. So you liking that comment, highlights your true intentions. I’m not saying all this to attack you or as a gotcha thing, but genuinely educate yourself. Furthermore, you used the r-slur (look it up if you’re unsure about the meaning and history), in chapter 4 of your novel. I suggest you educate yourself upon the meaning of the word and why the context you used it in is unnecessary, fictional book or not. And I understand the reality of the world and the stigma and fatphobia in society. But pushing it into fictional novels is bizarre to me because you as an author can write and chose to include so many better ideas, straying away from the problems of reality. Yet you didn’t. And that’s your choice I guess. Nevertheless, I hope you take my advice and edit the book again, even if you wrote it at 19. Start looking into what message your book is pushing, even if you didn’t mean to fatshane. Again, impact > intention.

Don’t bother reading if you’re looking for a book with good quality writing and language style, cause this is not it. Could barely get past the first few chapters due to the random dropping of the “r slur” and fatphobic rhetoric and the author liking comments insinuating fatness is associated with unhealthily lifestyles. The dehumanizing language such as “elephant” and every single comment about the fl’s body was annoying to the point where I was rolling my eyes. Not really surprised though cause all novels on this app seem to run along the narrative of skinny pale white skinned women who are oh so beautiful and could never be fat!! Words of advice for the author, look into your internalized fatphobia and what message you’re intentionally or unintentionally pushing to your readers. Especially younger audiences where they can feel hurt by such comments about body types and how you associate fatness as a bad thing. Do better.

Ok, the story was good at first. Seemed funny with the whole reincarnarion parts, but all of a audden everything got so fast paced. Like author, slow down tf. It made the story less enjoyable. And so many random sexual scenes?? Like the way it builded up doesn’t even make sense. I felt zero romance, cause the writing was so fast and there was barely any room for development in the characters. Fl was likeable at first but later on became sorta dumb? This was after meeting ml too🤦🏻‍♀️ And the ml, don’t even get me started, typical ass self entitled guy who knows he’s the **** and hot, and lowkey forces himself onto her. Just was not a fan of either leads. And the “sister” too? Author I don’t know why you made her dialogue sound like a 13 year old talking when fl and her are the same age. Did you try to make her sound “cute” and innocent or something? I’m not sure but it made the writing less interesting and professional. Overall, I dont recommend, seems enjoyable at first but wasted my time reading. Way too fast paced and poorly developed characters. Author take this review as constructive criticism, cause this story could be way better if heavy editing is done.