Carlos_PedricoXD

2yr

Commented

Whaddya mean awkward? It's not awkward at all! Lookin forward to the next chapter, we get to see more action and ice powers! and what the other guys all about, i guess

ch 0 8 Ghosts Schatten.

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Fantasy · Fuhuaxi

Carlos_PedricoXD

2yr

Commented

I knew it was twins! hell yeah!

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Fantasy · Fuhuaxi

Carlos_PedricoXD

2yr

Commented

Yes! New chap in one day!

Ghosts Schatten.

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Fantasy · Fuhuaxi

Carlos_PedricoXD

2yr

Commented

This chapter is wonderful, wifey! Things are getting more interesting. And don't worry about not feelin' it sometimes, all you gotta do is to imagine the scene as vividly as you can then sit down in front of your writing application, whatever that is. Good job!

ch 0 7 The dust of memories.

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Fantasy · Fuhuaxi

Carlos_PedricoXD

2yr

Commented

a twin? or maybe he always wish someone can exchange life with him?

This paragraph has been deleted.

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Fantasy · Fuhuaxi

Carlos_PedricoXD

2yr

Commented

coooooollll. go Elsa---er, Euphy!

She became a statue made of Eis.

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Fantasy · Fuhuaxi

Carlos_PedricoXD

2yr

Commented

eyyyyy the power's here, let's go!

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Fantasy · Fuhuaxi

Carlos_PedricoXD

2yr

Commented

ohh the evil dust already invaded her and act as the ghost of her family

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Fantasy · Fuhuaxi

Carlos_PedricoXD

2yr

Commented

lol

"Wait, did I scare him instead of making him calm? Ugh. This is why I don't babysit." I murmured to myself.

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Fantasy · Fuhuaxi

Carlos_PedricoXD

2yr

Commented

Ha! I bet the girls have some powerhouses with them. and euphy is a girl and a powerhouse, the guys are missing out.

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Fantasy · Fuhuaxi

Carlos_PedricoXD

2yr

Posted

Even if I'm only 6 chapters in, I can tell there is much potential. The only thing I can critique is there are times when the worldbuilding info is put out of nowhere, rather than letting it be discussed naturally as we go along the plot. Kinda info-dumping, sometimes. But the writing style is really good, and I feel that this is a story with depth in terms of themes. Just from the start, we are already introduced to grief and loss, and social hierarchies through magic. I need more, bae. Keep writing!

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Fantasy · Fuhuaxi

Carlos_PedricoXD

2yr

Commented

Then I'm willing to wait forever. Write more, pls!

ch 0 6 Ceremony before killing.

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Fantasy · Fuhuaxi

Carlos_PedricoXD

2yr

Commented

Awww, nightmares are no good. It could be a sign that you're not getting enough sleep, or your posture's bad. Take care, wifey, and again, thousand claps for this chapter!

ch 0 5 Little Plan.

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Fantasy · Fuhuaxi

Carlos_PedricoXD

2yr

Commented

ooohhh so it was all an act big sis

"Yeah. It was rare to have a child in this examination. But I heard he was a prodigy, girl, you're lucky to have him by your side."

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Fantasy · Fuhuaxi

Carlos_PedricoXD

2yr

Commented

wut, like taking out her ear and giving it to him? or is it just like dolores from encanto?

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Fantasy · Fuhuaxi

Carlos_PedricoXD

2yr

Commented

Gettin' more and more interesting. Wanna know what the deal with the white-haired kid is. Stop playing Genshin and write, wifey! This is really good! (And if you want to play, play with me instead jk jk)