What are the funniest pirate stories you know?

I know a story where a porcupine got lost in a forest during a snowstorm. It found a small cave to shelter in. But when it woke up, it was covered in snow. It looked like a big white ball with quills poking out. When a deer saw it, the deer was so startled that it ran away, slipping on the ice in the process, which was really funny.

There was a bunny who lived near a human house. One day, it found a pair of old sunglasses. The bunny put them on and strutted around as if it was the coolest bunny in the forest. All the other animals were both confused and amused by this new - look bunny with sunglasses.

I heard about a guy who tried to train his cat to fetch like a dog. He would throw a ball and expect the cat to bring it back. But the cat just stared at him as if he was crazy. After days of trying, he finally realized how foolish he had been. Cats are not dogs after all, and the whole process was rather comical.

A stoned guy once tried to unlock his front door with his car key for half an hour. When he finally realized his mistake, he laughed so hard at himself.

One funny Akpos story is when he tried to help his mother cook. His mother asked him to get some salt. He brought back a whole bag of sugar instead, saying it looked like salt. His mother was both shocked and amused.

In one story, a group of children were playing near the place where the Buddha was teaching. They were making a lot of noise. Instead of getting annoyed, the Buddha joined their game for a while. Then he told them a story about how being kind and sharing is like a magical power. The children were so engaged that they became quiet and started listening. It's a very warm and funny story about the Buddha's interaction with children.

There was this one time when a telemarketer called and started his pitch for a new phone service. I told him I was waiting for a call from aliens and my current phone might not be able to handle their frequency. He just laughed and said he'd call back when I was more 'earth - bound' in my communication needs.

The story of the tortoise in the ark is also quite funny. The tortoise was so slow that it always lagged behind when all the animals were gathering for meals. One day, the ark hit a small wave and the tortoise got tumbled over. It took it ages to get back on its feet, all the while the other animals were laughing and trying to help it upright in their own ways.

A squirrel once tried to steal a nut from a bird feeder but ended up getting stuck in the feeder. It was hanging there, looking all flustered while the birds were chirping around it as if they were laughing.

I know a story where a man painted his whole body like a zebra to enter a wildlife park for free. He got chased by a real zebra. Another one is a woman who wore two different shoes to work by accident and didn't notice until someone pointed it out and she thought it was a new style.