Can you share some retarded funny stories?

A parrot learned to say 'Hello' in a really strange accent. It sounded more like 'Hewwo'. Whenever it greeted people like that, it always made them laugh. It was so unexpected and cute at the same time.

Sure. Once there was a cat that tried to catch its own tail. It spun around in circles, looking so confused. It was hilarious.

Well, there might be a story where a little kid tried to put on his dad's big shoes and walk around. He waddled like a duck and everyone burst out laughing. It's these simple and unexpected moments that make the stories funny.

Sure. Here is one. A man went to the dentist. The dentist said, 'You need a crown.' The man replied, 'Finally someone thinks I'm a king!'

A little boy was asked by his teacher what his father did for a living. He said, 'He's a magician. He can turn the TV into a timeout just by looking at it.' It was so cute and funny.

Sure. Here is one. A magician was walking down the street and turned into a grocery store. Just a short and simple funny story.

Sure. One funny 911 story is about a man who called because he thought his neighbor's dog was singing too loudly. He was really serious about it, but it turned out the dog just barked in a strange way that made it seem like it was 'crooning'. The operator had a hard time keeping a straight face.

Sure. One of the funny stories could be about a dog that chased its own tail thinking it was a strange little creature. It ran around in circles for minutes until it got dizzy and just plopped down, looking very confused.

Sure. There was a man whose will stated that his entire collection of novelty socks should be given to his dog. Every time the dog wore a pair, it looked so hilarious with the socks flopping around as it walked.

Here's another one. A little boy was at school and the teacher asked him to use the word 'contagious' in a sentence. He said, 'My dad has a cold and said it was contagious.' The teacher said, 'Good, can you use it in another way?' The boy replied, 'My mom has a really contagious laugh. When she starts, everyone else starts laughing too.'