What are some of the most hilarious funny coast guard stories you've heard?

I heard about a security guard in a museum. He was very proud of his knowledge of art. One day, he was explaining a painting to some visitors. He got all the facts wrong and was so confident about it. When another visitor, who was an art expert, corrected him, he refused to believe it at first and it led to a really funny argument.

I heard about a boy who was trying to be funny in class. He held in his farts all day until he got to the front of the class to give a presentation. Right as he started, he let out a series of short, sharp farts. The whole class burst into laughter, and the teacher couldn't keep a straight face either.

A new nurse was in a rush to get to a patient's room. She opened the door without knocking and walked in on a patient doing a very energetic dance routine. The patient was so embarrassed at first but then they both ended up laughing about it. The nurse even joined in for a bit. It was a really funny and unexpected moment in the hospital.

A man in his 80s decided he wanted to learn skateboarding. His family thought he was crazy. But he was determined. He would practice in his driveway and kept falling. But he never gave up. Eventually, he could do some basic moves. It was so funny to see an old man on a skateboard.

Well, I heard of a metalhead who was at a family gathering. His family was very conservative. He showed up wearing his full metal gear - spikes, chains, and all. His grandma thought he was some sort of knight and kept asking him if he was going to slay dragons. It was really funny seeing him trying to explain what metal was to his grandma without scaring her too much.

I heard a story where a CNA was pushing a patient in a wheelchair to the garden. Along the way, a squirrel ran in front of them and the patient started making squirrel noises to try and communicate with it. The CNA was trying so hard not to laugh. Another story was about a CNA who tried to sing a lullaby to a patient to help them sleep but ended up forgetting the words and making up the silliest lyrics.

There was a mailman in a small town. One day, he was delivering a large package and tripped on a small stone. The package went flying and landed in a bush. As he was trying to retrieve it, his hat got caught on a branch. He looked so silly trying to free himself while still holding the package. The people on the street couldn't stop laughing.

I heard a story where a guy thought he was signing up for a free pizza deal online. But instead, he accidentally signed up for a year - long subscription to a knitting magazine. He doesn't even knit!

A funny BJJ story involves a group of students who decided to have a 'funny move' day. One guy tried to do a move where he pretended to be a ninja while doing a sweep. He ended up looking more like a clumsy acrobat. His exaggerated movements and the look on his face when he realized it didn't work as planned made everyone in the class roar with laughter. It was a great way to lighten the mood during training.

There was a landlord who accidentally locked himself in the tenant's closet while doing an inspection. The tenant came home and heard strange noises from the closet. When they opened it, there was the landlord looking all sheepish. He had been in there for half an hour trying to figure out how to get out.