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suicide jokes

suicide jokes

Rejected a 1000 Times, I Commited Suicide… And Got 1000 Girlfriends!

Rejected a 1000 Times, I Commited Suicide… And Got 1000 Girlfriends!

My name is Kage Ito, and I was the world’s most rejected man—a thousand rejections, no friends, family, or even a pet. Life itself seemed to reject me. One night, in my tiny, dingy apartment, I gave up and ended it all. But death wasn’t the end. I awoke in a realm of endless white, greeted by Sakurabana Tamayori, the Goddess of Soulmates. She revealed the cosmic mix-up that defined my life: I’d been assigned a thousand soulmates. None of the women who rejected me were meant to be mine, and I was given a second chance. The Soul Stats system also known as the Soul Reaver Damnation is a mysterious interface that tracks my soulmates, their emotional states, and the progress of our relationships. It shows me detailed metrics like their happiness, love, jealousy, and more, giving me a glimpse into the bond I share with each of them. But it’s not without its risks—if I fail to meet certain objectives, the consequences can be devastating, like one of my soulmates choosing to end their life. The system is both a guide and a constant reminder of the high stakes I face with every decision I make. (Chapter : 21) Now, I must find these soulmates, feeling an undeniable spark when I meet them. Sounds perfect, right? Wrong. Managing a thousand relationships is chaos. Some soulmates are fiery, others shy, and many come with their own challenges. Worse, ignoring a soulmate causes them unimaginable suffering. With little guidance and Sakurabana popping in to mock my struggles, I’m left to navigate this bizarre blessing—or curse. Along the way, I’ve discovered moments of beauty, connection, and love, but I still wonder: why me? This is the story of how I went from the loneliest man alive to a man destined for a thousand soulmates, and my journey to figure it all out—one soulmate at a time or maybe more. Support this story by adding it to your collection, giving Power Stones, and Golden Tickets! For private discussion, reach out on Discord: https://discord.gg/2zz2Csj9UQ
Fantasy
64 Chs
Exchange Fate! She Saved the whole family and the Short-Lived Marquis!

Exchange Fate! She Saved the whole family and the Short-Lived Marquis!

Fu Shinian, an extra character in the original book, awakens to find that her whole family are the vicious villains in the story. Her father, unable to establish relations with the Marquis Changping's residence, is demoted and exiled by the male lead. Her mother is beaten to death on the road to exile, and Aunt Cheng is humiliated to death protecting her chastity. Her elder brother opposes the male lead to win over the female lead and dies saving her. Her elder sister makes life difficult for the female lead, and after their father is exiled, she is divorced by the male lead and sent to a pleasure house. To protect her family and change their tragic fate, isn’t it fair for her to absorb all the male and female leads' fortunes? * [Ding! Male and female leads' fortune -1000, Fu Mansion's fortune +1000] Mr. Fu: "I attended the morning court session, why did His Majesty promote me again!" Madam Fu: "I went to the temple to offer incense, and the master said I was surrounded by a powerful purple aura!" Aunt Cheng: "How did the Cheng Family suddenly become the imperial merchants!" Elder Brother: "It seems like I suddenly have gained intelligence, I know all the exam questions!" Elder Sister: "How come right after I broke off the engagement, Little General Gu came to propose?" * The Marquis Changping can only live to 25, in two years the title will belong to the male lead? She frantically absorbs the fortunes of the male and female leads to boost the Marquis Changping's fortune! During the plague lockdown, Fu Shinian brings medicine and travels long distances into the city to safeguard his health. He understands the girl's intentions, but he only has two years left to live, how can he drag her down. However, why does his heart ache so much watching her with someone else? Finally, the Marquis Changping forces Fu Shinian into the corner of the study, lowering his head to seek her lips: "Niannian, I was wrong."
History
90 Chs
Collecting jokes and funny jokes?
Of course, I can collect some funny stories and jokes for you. Here are some examples: 1 A man went to the movies and realized he had watched too much, so he said,"I can tell this movie is so bad." Another said,"No, you just heard all the rhythms." 2 A man said to his girlfriend,"I like you a little." His girlfriend said,"So much?" I don't have any." The man said,"No, I just like your smile." 3 A man asked his girlfriend,"You have a little blue eyes." His girlfriend said,"Yes, I ordered blue glasses." The man said,"No, I'm just saying that I have blue eyes and you have blue glasses." 4 When a man heard that he often chatted with a young man, he said,"I think the coolest thing about young people is that they are a little fat." The subject said," No, the coolest thing is to experience some surprises." The guy said," No, you're not as cool as me. I've been through some of the coolest things, like being thought of as a princess." A man asked his girlfriend,"What do you like about me?" His girlfriend said,"I like the way you talk to me." The man said,"No, what I like is that you can understand me." I hope these jokes can help you satisfy your needs!
1 answer
2024-09-17 01:22
Animal jokes
In the search results provided, there were some funny stories about animals, including jokes about cows, snakes, frogs, camels, bees, butterflies, elephants, chickens, donkeys, cats, mice, foxes, squirrels, and other animals. These jokes described the conversations and interactions between animals in a humorous way, bringing some joy and entertainment to people. However, because the search results were incomplete, they could not provide specific joke content.
1 answer
2025-01-06 23:00
Collect 50 jokes!
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
1 answer
2025-03-11 15:43
Collect 50 jokes!
If I die, the first thing I'll say is, I finally don't have to be afraid of ghosts. A man walked into a bar and ordered a drink. After a few sips, he said to the waiter,"Sorry, I'm not suitable for this kind of wine." The waiter replied,"You're not suitable for this wine because you've been eliminated by this bar." If you do well in the exam, it's all because of your deskmate. 4 "When you were young, did you often tell your parents that you were an alien?" "No, if I tell them I'm an alien, they won't ask me so many strange questions." A bear hugged a rabbit and said,"You are my baby." The rabbit looked at the carrot in the bear's hand and said,"I am not only your baby but also your big carrot." A man was trapped on an island. He caught a bird and a rabbit and prepared to cook them into a delicious meal. So he put the bird and the rabbit in the same cage and began to roast them. After a while, the bird was cooked, but the rabbit was still moving. The man thought,"The rabbit is so small that it won't be roasted to death." In the end, the rabbit was left cold by him. A boy confessed to a girl, and the girl rejected him, saying,"I'm already past that age." The boy asked,"What age are you now?" "I've already rejected that age group," the girl replied. If you do well in the exam, it's all because of your deskmate. A man was trapped on an island. He caught a bird and a rabbit and prepared to cook them into a delicious meal. So he put the bird and the rabbit in the same cage and began to roast them. After a while, the bird was cooked, but the rabbit was still moving. The man thought,"The rabbit is so small that it won't be roasted to death." In the end, the rabbit was left cold by him. If you do well in the exam, it's all because of your deskmate. A man walked into a bar and ordered a drink. After a few sips, he said to the waiter,"Sorry, I'm not suitable for this kind of wine." The waiter replied,"You're not suitable for this wine because you've been eliminated by this bar." A bear hugged a rabbit and said,"You are my baby." The rabbit looked at the carrot in the bear's hand and said,"I am not only your baby but also your big carrot." If I die, the first thing I will say is, I finally don't have to be afraid of ghosts. If you do well in the exam, it's all because of your deskmate. A man walked into a bar and ordered a drink. After a few sips, he said to the waiter,"Sorry, I'm not suitable for this kind of wine." The waiter replied,"You're not suitable for this wine because you've been eliminated by this bar." If you do well in the exam, it's all because of your deskmate. A man was trapped on an island. He caught a bird and a rabbit and prepared to cook them into a delicious meal. So he put the bird and the rabbit in the same cage and began to roast them. After a while, the bird was cooked, but the rabbit was still moving. The man thought,"The rabbit is so small that it won't be roasted to death." In the end, the rabbit was left cold by him. If you do well in the exam, it's all because of your deskmate. A bear hugged a rabbit and said,"You are my baby." The rabbit looked at the carrot in the bear's hand and said,"I am not only your baby but also your big carrot." If I die, the first thing I will say is, I finally don't have to be afraid of ghosts. If you do well in the exam, it's all because of your deskmate. A man walked into a bar and ordered a drink. After a few sips, he said to the waiter,"Sorry, I'm not suitable for this kind of wine." The waiter replied,"You're not suitable for this wine because you've been eliminated by this bar." If you do well in the exam, it's all because of your deskmate. A bear hugged a rabbit and said,"You are my baby." The rabbit looked at the carrot in the bear's hand and said,"I am not only your baby but also your big carrot." If you do well in the exam, it's all because of your deskmate. A man was trapped on an island. He caught a bird and a rabbit and prepared to cook them into a delicious meal. So he put the bird and the rabbit in the same cage and began to roast them. After a while, the bird was cooked, but the rabbit was still moving. The man thought,"The rabbit is so small that it won't be roasted to death." In the end, the rabbit was left cold by him.
1 answer
2025-03-08 20:42
The Song of the Suicide
Song of the Suicide was a science fiction novel by Liu Cixin, a famous sci-fi author in China. Song of the Suicide told a grand story about the future of Earth, involving human technological progress, environmental deterioration, social unrest and many other topics. The novel received widespread praise and was hailed as a classic of Chinese science fiction.
1 answer
2024-09-26 15:36
It would be even better if there were philosophical jokes or sarcastic jokes!
An example of a long joke is as follows: A bird flew into an orchard and saw a sheep lying on the ground, so he asked the sheep,"why are you lying here?" "I'll wait for the apples," answered the sheep."They haven't fallen yet." The bird asked,"Why don't you bite the grass?" The sheep replied,"I'd better wait for the apples to fall. They're much tastier than grass!" An example of a philosophical joke was as follows: A man ran to the church and asked God,"why did I do bad things?" God replied,"Because your desires are evil." The man replied,"Then what desire do I have if I don't do bad things?" God said,"No." The man asked again,"What should I do?" God replied,"You can try to do something good to offset your desire." An example of a sarcastic joke was as follows: A man went to a bar and got drunk. His friend was very worried about him, so he called him to ask about him. The man replied,"I don't know who I am anymore. I only remember that I was in a bar and I drank a lot of wine." His friend asked,"What should you do now?" The man replied,"Then I'll go to that bar and see if I can get drunk there!"
1 answer
2024-09-19 17:22
What are the characteristics of the funniest jokes and stories in 'funniest jokes and stories'?
Another is the use of absurdity. Like a story where a man tries to use a banana as a phone. The illogical nature of such a scenario is humorous. These funny jokes and stories often play with the norms of our daily life and turn them on their head, making us laugh. They can also involve wordplay, like puns, which add an extra layer of humor.
1 answer
2024-12-10 16:38
I collect jokes, cold jokes, please reply more ~~
Alright, I'll try my best to provide cold jokes. Here are some examples: Why don't zombies like to make friends with werewolves? Because they were afraid that the werewolf would bite their " head " and cause changes. Why do some people like to play computer games with gloves on? They liked to massage their fingers on the keyboard. Why do policemen like to eat hamburgers? Because they liked to grab meat buns. Why do airplanes like to fly in the sky? Because they wanted to " fly." Why do some people like to draw circles on the beach? Because they wanted to have a piece of the sky in the "sea" circle.
1 answer
2025-03-04 10:30
Can the depiction of suicide in fictionalized shows influence suicide rates?
It's possible. Some people might be influenced by what they see in fictional shows. If the suicide is shown as a 'solution' or without proper context, it could have an impact on those already at risk.
2 answers
2024-10-12 21:48
Is 'the suicide club' a real club in 'the suicide club erotic story'?
Well, in 'the suicide club erotic story', it's likely just a fictional creation. There's no evidence to suggest it's a real club. It's used to drive the narrative, often in a very dark and mysterious way. The idea of a'suicide club' in the story is probably more about exploring extreme human emotions and situations within the fictional world that the author has created.
1 answer
2024-11-06 21:55
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