comedian demetri martin

I am Racist. … I mean, my name is Racis T. I swear. Please don’t cancel me before chapter 1. Anyway, I was a stand-up comedian. Not the good kind who gets Netflix specials. The kind who gets hit with beer bottles and told to “Meet me backstage. You’ll get one more mic.” One night, I was performing in a bar so shady, even cockroaches walked in with bodyguards. It was full of tattooed bikers who drink engine oil, smoke burnt rubber, lick silencers, cry over their exes, and still believe their fists are a valid debate technique. And there I was—trying to make them laugh using yo mamma jokes and dark humor so black it should’ve come with a flashlight and some cotton. They didn’t laugh. I kept going. One of them pulled out a gun. I cracked a joke. He cracked my skull. Bullet. Brain. Curtains. Boom. But here’s the funny part: I always wanted to be a successful comedian. Maybe get a standing ovation. But what I got was Uncontrollable Blood Ovulation. Still, I had dreams, man. Big dreams. Make people laugh. Marry someone who doesn't need two chairs to sit. Eat three meals a day, Own a yacht (the humble kind with a helipad) I wasn’t greedy. I would have donated 0.01% of my wealth to charity. I only wanted 99% of everything. But fate, karma, God, or probably the trends of Webnovel had other plans. Because instead of resting in peace… I woke up in another world. A fantasy world full of monsters, heroes, magic, kingdoms, war… And zero comedy clubs. Just my luck. So now I’ve got a second life, a rude system, and maybe a power or two. But being a Hero is secondary. First, I am gonna roast dragons, clown on kings, incest—invest, I mean invest and make the whole world laugh until they cry—or kill me again. Either way… Welcome to the story of the most dangerous thing in every world— A man who won’t shut up. ——— ——— ——— Support Me - ko-fi.com/khyaal Join My Discord For Reference Arts and much more - https://discord.gg/zmUcswM2N5

This is a collection of short stories that invite you to think about various topics the invitation is open since wisdom is for everyone. the rest is left to you

This is a collection of short stories that invite you to think about various topics the invitation is open since wisdom is for everyone. the rest is left to you

This is a novel written by George R.R Martin. I only posted it here so you can read for free. (BOOK 1) I DO NOT OWN CPOYRIGHT. {Let me know if there are any other novels you wish to read}

My Dear, This is Mint. this story's main Protagonist. you guessed it right, I like men. like a lot, literally. yes, I am the one, belong to that 10% population which consider as the minority, The LGBTQ+. but if you take aside the sexuality agenda, I'm a normal person like you. I have a family, friends like more than brother and sister. suitable college life and a friend that I have a crush on. I wake up early daily, take bath, eat meals regularly, and always be on time for college, being studious is my nature. posses talents and hobbies and thinking uniquely. facing difficulties and stress, dealing with them, and all stuff like that. I am as normal as you are as extraordinary as you are. practically I possess every characteristic of human beings. and this is my story. "Mint, have you make contact with any of our friends?" "I trying to call them, but no one is available at this moment. I'm now afraid. they might not get hurt?" "I don't know but I think they may be safe. I trust God for their safety. we just need to configure this Idea." "You might be true. I guess this earthquake might not cause any damage to them. but still, can't make any contact with them makes me more worried as per second passes." "Keep Hope Mint. everything will be fine. the disaster has passed. now we just have to figure out where their locations are. but first, you need to take a deep breath and calm your blood pressure down. don't be panic." "I am trying to calm myself down. but, as time passes I can't stop worrying about them. and I might keep worrying like this until I discover they are safe." I say a msg dropped into my phone. I rapidly get up and gear up for helping them. "Han, I should go and look for them. you have to rest" "I can't sit around and do nothing. when I knew my friends are out there. they might need my help. I should go too." "No, please, you are in no condition right now. look at you. you barely even walk right now. if you get out like this you have me behind to worry about you too." "but!" "I do not afford to listen to any excuses right now. just be here and I take the rest of the part to make sure they are safe." My heart-eating me out of worry. this is a case of emergency, of course, I would. why not. but nonetheless, I wasn't thinking straight. when I started to think, why I was running so desperate to the first destination. when I received the location like this crazy? I might say I can't judge myself for what reason my heart is shouting me to 'run' fast as I can. move my feet as I can, towards the person it might desire to take a glimpse to his safety. yes, I am figuring out myself too, why? why him? why this particular person my heart has a desire to see this extensively out of anyone in this entire planet right now? The upper phase might not be a question. but it might rather be it's an answer to itself. I just have to figure out what.

This story follows Martin Orchard between the Portal in the Pyramid and Sabina's Pursuit of the Holy Grail. After meeting the Zetan deities, Martin tries to understand his purpose in life. A year later, Martin and a group of travellers comes across ancient Zetan technology that expands their minds. But who controls the technology and what impact will their actions have on the fate of humanity? Fantasy Sci-Fi Supernatural

Rhian got into accident involving her parents. but only her mother and her got survive, her father died before they arrive at the hospital. She transfer to other school and there she meet a mysterious guy in the rooftop. The more they spend time knowing each other there are something she felt that he's hiding something and he need to find out. Who he is?

I’m sad but I smile That’s my life

After an unceremonious death by gaming-induced heart attack, a cynical couch potato finds himself reincarnated in a fantastical world, saddled with a sentient, wisecracking 'Chuckle-Verse Interface' that demands he perform increasingly absurd comedic feats to survive and thrive. Prepare for peak hilarity. Hope you like this one. Add it to your library if you like it. I'm active and will update consistently. You don't need to worry about me ghosting this.

This is a love story about a girl named Amber and about Martin Garrix