Reviews of What in this world! Oh... Wait a minute. It's another world. by DeJeL - Webnovel

Hey there! Good day for writing! If you wanted to see whether you can get paid by distributing the current work or getting financial support by writing new work, you might want to contact geekyteddyyo@gmail.com. A brief introduction, some sample chapters or links will be appreciated when reaching out.

This review is based on 5 chaps, but I know for a fact that it gets a lot better Constructive criticism: Try learnung more about your style. As it stands, the story reads like a diary or a operation log. Work with rethoric, such as methaphors, similes, alliterations etc. Work with narration, such as MCs thoughts, and his actions on others and why he does such a thing. Try to reimagine yourself as all the character and immerse yourself in them. What I like: A lot actually. It takes an overdone setting and spins it unto a new direction. I like the PoV and si like the worldbuilding. Just from the 5 chaps anyone can see that the author follows a plan and is not writing arbitrarly

Writing style, at least in the beginning, is kinda cramped with long blocks of text - Though it does get better at chapter 5. Really enjoyed the world building and character design, though I found the dialogue weird sometimes.

The novel is really good, just not my Type. There is plot, too much plotarmor. Incest is wincest too, a little bit rushed, characters nicly done but a little bit too much cringe xd idk it could just be me. I had the feeling its too Smooth. Like i said a good novel just not my Type xd

It’s an interesting read where I can see the author improving every chapter. There are very few grammatical errors, but of course there are still some problems( this will not affect the reading experience much though) The author chose a very interesting path by making the novel first person so this may or may not change your opinion on the novel. The characters are developed decently but I don’t really feel a... connection with some of them. The novel also seems to be taking a more western route. (It seems more western to me but maybe not to others) My biggest problem with the novel is it’s update schedule which seems very erratic. My suggestion is to save this in a library and wait for a while before picking it back up while also supporting the author with votes. The novel overall is very good from what I’ve read and I have no doubt that the author worked very hard on it, so keep up the good work and I will look forward to future updates.

Constructive criticism: I'm not going to go into the writing style and presentation because everyone else pointed them out already (if you could do it soon, set aside time to apply those great pointers). You have good ideas going, they're obviously going to keep coming, but you are too focused on simply dumping them out. Please take time to think about how you're going to show it to readers in a way that they'll find easy to take in and digest. Please also shift your focus away from getting new readers and think more deeply about how you could get repeat customers.

Your novel seems interesting... ill stop to Chapter 6 since ive mentioned bfore im a sucker for romance... hehe But keep up the good work and just continue what u love to do and this is ur novel so continue to deliver what u want to convey to readers with confidence. I received this comment on my novel bfore too like they are reading a wall of text. Now i understand since im reading yours thru mobile. First 5 to 6 Chapters seemed like that. Not good thru mobile reading so break your paragraphs in my opinion hehe. Anyways goodluck with ur novel/s... Cheers!

I'm not good with plots, but in terms of writing quality, I can judge. 1. There are grammatical errors than can confuse readers. The tenses and misplaced modifiers for example. 2. Your paragraphs are too long, it can be separated. 3. You are too abrupt in changing scenes, I see no transitions. I am not an expert and I can't see through all your errors but i hoped this helped you.

Okay so here I see comments about your writing style being a little weird but when you start reading something intriguing that makes the mistakes a little unnoticeable. You novel combines your resourcefulness and creativity! Well, I'm not a fan of fantasy novels (I know what a weirdo I am) xD but this novel gripped me a little despite the fact that the chapters were long or is that I write very short chaps! but your vocab is fine and the background design is stable. Keep writing! ^^ x

I can't say I particularly enjoyed this, reincarnation is one of my favorite for this kind of genre, but at the same time I feel a lot was glossed over in just the first chapter alone. Especially the end, it feels rushed. Other than that you regularly release and the writing itself is really good.

The writing quality can definitely be improved. The updates of 1 chapter a week will be problem for us 'Chapter craving individuals.' But it's understandable as it is a new book? And everyone has their own things to do. The story was good, just needed a little bit of improvement in writing. (The first few chapters.) Im not really a fan of early romance and different POVs. I hope you will continue writing and improving. The story has potential, keep working hard. FIGHTING!

First of all, the writing style was confusing. It's unusual, mixed of tenses, incorrect grammars, etc.. fortunately it's still understandable. Updates wise, this one is currently in hiatus so I would have to give u 3 stars for now. Well, that's all for the bad things. The good things are I like the story development and world background. This novel is unique and rather well paced. Character design was ok.

It is a good try to write a good story. Like most of the comments and reviews i would also like you to not to write dialogues in the paragraph. Some times it feels rushed and it looked like you wanted to move on the next scene too fast. You should not fret over writing a new chapter just to extend the scene. BTW i am not saying it is not good but opposite. I like it very much. Hopefully you will continue it again.

Don't trust my review, This is a review based only around 5 chapters + prologue If you want my honest opinion Writing Quality - 3/5 - Was going to give a 2/5, but seeing the improvement from chapter 5 I gave another. Text blocks, speech tags, dialogue issues followed by rough transition. One notable example is where one character talks with modern day English but when you switch the point of view to him, it becomes thee olden form Stability of Updates - 4/5 - Seeing the intervals where the chapters were made, not the best, but I'll give a slight curve. You can see notable improvements in the fifth chapters but you also see a large amount of time from the fourth to fifth meaning the quality only came with time of editing. Story Development - 4/5 - Not the best and rushed before the third chapter, you just get random scenarios placed upon the readers that ruins the immersion of the reader. Character Design - 3/5 - One-sided characters. Some characters have some strange reactions and weird doings that makes them out of character. World Background - 3/5 - Only small snippets of magic affinity and city name, no background information Overall - 3.4/5 - Better than most original novels here but not top grade. This novel is good aesthetically and paradise for taking those who wished they were in 'isekai' situations just out of the blue.

So for all of those complaining about chapter 1-4, the author breaks it down in chapter 5 for everyone. He adds in their name at the end. I think this is a new creative way to let people know whos talking. Something you would see in playwright. I think this is a great slice of life in another world. So my score for it would be 4/5 5/5 5/5 4/5 3/5. You are slowly working on your writing ability and it shows. Work on your world building a bit better to let people see from your characters point of view, but at the same time know where and what is around them. I think you are doing a good job. Keep it up!

Wall of texts.. That my first impression. It hard for reader to understand when there are three to ten dialogues in one paragraph.. An experienced reader read multiple words at a time and with that packed... Difficult.. I also got feeling the plot is forced. Too fast... Overall.. 👍

This novel have charm in form of a detailed character interaction yet the weakness also laid there. At times it felt like reading through a script where person A speak his part and then person B speak his part. Yet I can feel that the world building is well formed and each of the important character is assigned a certain personality. to makes this criticism easier to read i'll make it into bullet point Pro. 1. world building is there 2. lore/system of the world exist 3. character interaction 4. character personalisation Weak. 1. script like text 2. character are introduced at bullet pace which sometimes force me to read over and over again 3. There is a distinct lack of background establishment (eg. The hall was wide and tall with windows on each side pouring sunlight to it. Filled with laughter and conversation. Maid are carrying drinks to nobles while dancing around the floor..etc etc)

Nice novel, good start and awesome plot! Hope u dont leave it midway. Thank you for all the hard work, dude and keep it up!!! ............................................................................................................................................................

Dawson seems to care little about his family. I supposed he prefers adventure over other things. The first few chapters were a little hard to read and understand. I have no problem with first person view since I started writing using first person view when I was younger. So that's not a problem. However, In chapter 5, I noticed that you put names in bracket to clearly show who was the one speaking. I'm not sure if you changed it later on since I'm only at Chap 7 at the moment. But if no, but here's my advice. When there are few people talking, you can just put "Dawson talked to Judas..." then give like 2 to 3 consecutive conversation. And everytime someone else talked, do the same thing ie "Carmen interrupted..". As long as those who were conversing do not change, the conversation should be easy to follow. Yours, Luo Ye

I don't like reading 1st person novels , but this is not the case with this novel . This novel got me hooked, good job and keep writing. 👍

What a slap in the face and I read legal documents for a living. Honestly if you have an overactive imagination you could probably read this novel and fully enjoy it but for me my brain power is about nill I need narrative, not points of view, feeling not guess what I'm trying to express. It was all very monotone and again could be my lack of brain power it just needed more expressive words. The good thing about the novel is the overall uniqueness it is written through the eyes of the MC and unfortunately the FL, but it gives you a feeling of watching a medieval Ferris Bueller's Day Off vibe. Again could be my lack of brain power that makes you play music in your own head as you read and wonder how anyone was ever functioning to begin with. Minor grammatical errors and spelling mistakes but I only read up to chapter 5 again brain power.

Writing quality: 3/5 * The first few chapters were a nightmare to read, especially on a mobile device, because of the good ol' wall o' text. Fortunately later chapters got better. * The style of writing dialogue, with the character name in parentheses at the end of each line, weirds me out. It feels like some one was spying on the characters and transcribing everything they say, and I'm reading that transcript. BUT if you were going for the style of Japanese web novel then please ignore what I just wrote. Stability of Updates: 5/5 Seems stable enough Story Development: 2/5 Because of the writing style, it's really hard to see where the story is progressing. It just seems... whimsical to me, somehow. The POV shift also seems random an arbitrary. Character Design: 3/5 I seriously cannot tell many of the female characters apart. Maybe you should think more about sprinkling their description, action and mannerism between dialogue. World Background: 2/5 Most of the time it feels like a sitcom. I'm watching characters interacting with each other in a room, without the feeling of a larger world. Characters do mention a generic sounding fantasy world, but most of the time I cannot tell what kind of details that world possesses. You seem really passionate about this work. So I hope you'll keep improving!!!

Worth looking at. ...................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

Writing quality: 3/5, The first 3 chapters are rough. Real rough. They're written entirely in 1st person and read similar to stream of consciousness writing. In a way, that is impressive. However, it's hard to read and appears clumsy to those of us without appreciation for high-level literature. It improves in chapter 4 and by chapter 5 the writing is mostly normal. Otherwise I'd give a lower score here. Improve the first 3 chapters and I'd increase this score to a 4.5/5. Updates: Don't know. New reader. Story Development: 5/5 Story is interesting and progressing nicely. Especially once you get to ch5. Character design 3.5/5: I didn't read very far yet, so hard to judge for sure. Descriptions of characters were a bit lacking. Even the character details page fails to tell me anything beyond age and sometimes height. This is an easy fix by adding some minor descriptions as you introduce characters. Hair color, eye color, clothing style, etc. World Background 5/5 Everything is explained very well as the world opens up. Advice to author: Rewrite chapters 1 through 3 and maybe some of 4. Those beginning chapters will cause 95% or more of readers to turn away. Make those chapters similar to chapter 5's writing style. You may also want to describe your characters looks more during their 1st introductions. It's true readers like to place themselves as the MC in their head, but we still need to know what they look like.

At first glance, I wouldn't say this novel is good. In fact, it's even a little bad. However, reading on, I could tell that there's a good amount of passion poured into the story, even though the execution can be somewhat clumsy. In this novel, the flaws are many. For starters, the dialogue are all cluttered into the same paragraph, making it difficult to tell who's talking during any given scene. Thankfully that is fixed in later chapters but it really made it difficult for me to get into the story at the beginning. Next is the story. Early on, the flow of the story is quite a bit of a mess, with far too many things going on to follow. It feels like the author is a little too impatient when writing, cramming way too much story elements and exposition with hardly any space for me to breathe when reading them. It was as if I've been put onto a roller-coaster ride that runs at full speed from the beginning and then just kept getting faster and faster. Thankfully, up to the point I have read, there are signs of things slowing down and the story having a better pacing. All in all, this story have some interesting ideas that are unfortunately not executed all that well in the beginning. But, as I read on, I can certainly see improvements happening steadily. Hopefully, in future chapters, the author learns to be a little more patient and slow down a little. If that is done, I think there'll be a lot more space to flesh out the ideas being presented and making them even more enjoyable to read.

Okay, this is what I think about this novel, after reading up to chapter 7. I don't know many Isekai type story, only a handful, so I don't know what's typical or not. But, as the story goes it's interesting so far but a little bit slow paced. So if you want to see the action and the ******* rising drama, you have to read a bit more than where I'm currently at. The story was written like an Arthurian legends novel and told using the first-person narrative. Takes place in the middle ages era where swords, magic, drama, and romance takes place, The MC, as far as I've read it, was not OP yet, but I got the feelings that his power was one of a kind. Do I recommend it, yes! With a slight caution. (It's tiring to read cramped up text)

I've currently read only upto chapter 5 Isekai novels are interesting. So when I read the synopsis, i became interested. The characters.. I like MC and Carmen. Though I feel like they are somehow lacking feelings. He found out that he just died, yet he didn't feel sadness or anything. I know, maybe he is just really really calm but I still don't find that normal. Or maybe, the author just wasn't able to clearly show his emotions in writing. The events are kinda rushed and that makes it feel like a big info dump. I read somewhere that it is one common mistake an author could make. The author wanted to explain what he's thinking, but forgot that it should be the characters thinking instead. Try to describe everything maybe on an emotional way? I don't know if I'm making sense haha. Chapters 1-3, although I could understand what's happening, I just really hate those long paragraphs. I have bad eyesight, and I was reading it during the night.. you know I tried hard just to read it. It was too painful for my eyes, I literally cried while reading. So I stopped that night, and continued it the next day. Atleast after chapter 4, the paragraphs are already fine. Good work on that. Other than those above, I have no more complains. The world is interesting. It was a fun read. The author's style is more on the narrative side, that's good too, it was just a bit unique in webnovels. First person perspective is also unique in this webnovel site, but it is normal in most Jap LN's. Keep up the good work. Every chapter you write, the improvements are noticeable. Thank you for writing this awesome novel. I added it in my library and i will continue reading it.

-I think you are very new to writing so try to create very Sim*le dialogue. -The story wasn't engaging at all I had a hard time finish the chapters. -Too much lazy and unnecessary explanation and why put the age in a bracket. Somehow incorporate this information within the dialogue without info dumping. -Don't tell us what a character personality is before they even start talking. -Try to use 3rd person point of view. -Keep trying and plan things out.

Yooo, Fro is here~~!! Ony one thing that Fro could say after Fro read your earliest chapter. I felt like I just took a ride on a super duper fast train and pushed through any obstacles upfront without care lol. I felt so dizzy and my eyes were hurt! Seriously you should edit your earliest chapter to attract more reader. It was too rushed, I knew you are trying to show it was first person's pov, but you should at least put some spacy and coma in each sentences. You also need put at least some description of the situasion/emotion because it felt too rush and a bit bland. For example in chap 2 or 3 (I forgot) when ernest (dawson father) met his son for first time, he should at least show a bit emotion. With your rushing, he seemed just "oh you are my son? Okay, then. End of topic, I dont care." It was just my interpretation, I dont ask for emotional meeting, just at least he should show some surprise or happiness after seeing his son who was separated by him for years. However I can see a lot of improvement on your later chapters and the story also began to form on its essence. Your story has a good potential, just your writing need an improvement. That why I said you should edit your earliest chapter to attract more reader. Honestly even I am attracted to this novel because of the title the title. There was just two thing that bugged me a bit. Instead using a name of character behind the talking, why dont you use the normal telling like your writing before? Like 'he said, carmen said, his father said etc' To make them more alive, put some description of emotion behind them. For example : "I miss you, carmen." I said to my beloved fiance as I stared at her with overflowing love. Something like that description. And then the second thing was about the image word you put each time showing something, I dont know if you actually have the images you mention, but since in the webnovel cant insert any picture and also there was some readers who was too lazy to check some images from some link (like me, yes! Definitely!), you should put some description of image instead just word like you mention. For me its bit disturbing. Well, enough of my rambling, I dont want to make you read a lot of my nonsense garbage. So I just want to say, this is really good story, keep your hard work. I see you have a lot improvement, I am sure, you will become even better in the future in your writing and put alive your imagination in your novel.

Because this novel is a masterpiece of this world, and on other planes of existence, without compare and I am not worthy of writing a review on it. I have decided to write a review of the requirements for a reader to partake in this enlightened-dragon-master-godly work. **Interpolation Requirement: 70** . If you, the reader, are unable to consume line after line of text, insert commas, full stops, attribute voice and interpolate on the fly you will not be able to follow this story. This is not the fault of the author. It is yours for not being of adequate interpolation level. Please go and read forty thousands chapters of machine translated novels and return to attempt again if you cannot comprehend the magnitude of these works. **Cipher Level Requirement: 67** . If the reader is experiencing difficulties working out what just happened and you read the section over again. And again and you finally think you know what has happened. If this is you. You need more training. You have not reached the cipher level requirement to enjoy this masterpiece. This work is beyond you acolyte. The masterpiece does not need to explain to you why Carmen loves Dawson unconditionally immediately nor why they are cousins or she is an angel who knows about the bible and won't explain. No... It is your task to decipher this information. No novel for you today. Come back tomorrow. . **Interpretation Level Requirement: Ninth Gate of the Elder Dragon** . If a reader is unable to open the nine gates of the elder dragon reading they will not be able to interpret and comprehend this work. Skully the disembodied floating undead skull who has lived for forty centuries, who starting reading hieroglyphics as a child's finger bone is struggling. You mere mortal have no chance. Even with the aid of chapter 2 character descriptions, (which you can edit? please don't troll this section) because adding descriptions of characters into the story is beneath the Master. That is the domain of mere mortals. As a test, if you are unable to comprehend this review. Go. Read another billion words. Unless you can read with your eyes closed and you can see Mount Tai from the inside of your eyelids you are not ready for this fiction. Suggestion to Author regarding equipment: I think you need to replace your keyboard. The enter key, comma and full stop keys are only working twenty percent of the time.