62.5% Abiogenisis / Chapter 1: Last Ride of the Day

Chapter 1: Last Ride of the Day

Host: Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. Please enjoy our finale, the final show of the day, and, if you will please indulge me in saying so, the last ride of the day.

*curtains close*

???: Why, hello there. If this is our first meeting, well, then this certainly shan't be our last. If I have met you before, well, welcome back. I hope that I won't be detaining you for long.

*curtains open. A man sits in an office room*

Host (offstage): Do not be startled. Yes, the good man may be questionable, and, yes, his motives are questionable. But, c'mon, there's no preventing his visits. Ladies, and gentlemen, I give you, Death.

Death: Hello, hello. Now, before we get into what we do here in, well, what you would call "Hell". (Your casual use of that term is quite offensive by the way. I mean, how would you like if someone constantly compared your home to a sh*thole, without even visiting your home in the first place?) Now, I know you have questions. But before I answer them, I will, like any good CEO, introduce myself. I am an employer. I mean, you have all eternity here. You might as well pass the time by doing something. Sure, sure, you'll most likely work long, unfulfilling hours for little- sorry, I beg your pardon- no pay. It'll just be like working as an intern for a multinational. Except we won't take part in unethical practices. Most of the time. Now, let's meet one of our fine workers.

*curtains close*

Death (offstage): Alright, are you ready?

???: Wait, ready for what?

*curtains open. Rows of office cubicles, with Death leaning over one positioned in the centre*

Death: Here we

???: Sir, who are you talking to?

Death: Hush, child, hush. I'm speaking to our future clients and potential employees.

???: Why would you even need more employees? Besides, why do you even need employees?

Death: Have you seen the paperwork? Bad question. Let me try again: Do you think I can be bothered to go through all the paperwork? Tell me, Susan, was it? Tell me, what have you done today thus far?

Susan: Sir, my name's actually Susa-

Death: Look, I really don't care. There's around 10 billion of your sort around here. Just answer my question.

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Susan: Well, today I've filed documents for 1000 mayflies, some 200 fish of varying species, and ten billion bacteria cells.

Death: NANI? Sorry, slip of the tongue. You know, I was quite popular back in Hiroshima.


If you pick a fruit, are you performing an abortion upon the plant?

Comment (1)

  • Sashiro


    High quality content

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