Chapter comments on the chapter The Phantom menace of the book A Rattling Monster [Completed] (Editing in Progress)

That was done well (story is picking up nicely)

I think the chapter and all the previous chapter could go under another round of editing to make the story flow more smoothly. It’s not bad but I can’t really feel what they are feeling. It’s like when someone is telling a joke and the best you can do is just smile. It’s a good joke, but it doesn’t make you want to laugh~

Haha Lich-Meal🥩 was truly worth it. Can't wait for the next evolution. Thx

Dude give something like a Hero pov scroll above so we know if it's the mc or the hero

The grammar, still... You really couldve explained better on how they concluded that someone ate the Lich. I mean they directly asked the guild master if an undead ate it when they have no proof that someone actually did, like teethmarks they couldve discovered on the bones or they noticed a trail of little feet coming to and from the Lich.

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Page 13 says "grab the 5 alchoholics" An alcoholic is a person with a drinking problem. Use 'alchoholic beverages' or 'alchoholic drinks' maybe? Those two sound a little stiff though. I'd just say 'drinks' or ' beers'.

I would be more afrait of the liches in a fight since they can use magic. Outsider they are harmless compared to the ghoul, since they seldom leave they lair.

Pay to read site, with the writing at a third grade level.

Thx

Suffer humans of Aria

Getting slight improvement from previous chapt. Thanks for the chapt.

totally desert ---> totally deserted disrupt my ---> disrupted my

Thanks for the chapter 😉

Wow so he gonna be big ghoul rat haha

Thanks

Maybe I'm nitpicking, but isn't matriarch used for "women who rule"? Are most monsters, ghouls in this case, female or was this just a quick show of status? Still a great read though

At that moment you know that you have **** it up- the adventurer