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Read up to chapter 10. The novel is good.
The story is developing well. The personality of the main character is well made and picturised.
The Grammar is better as compared to the last time I reviewed. A single word can describe a lot of worlds, Thesaurus will help you if you google search your group of words. ( He is a doctor that treated children/ This doctor treated only children- The word is 'Pediatrician' ).
I have saved your story in my library and will definitely read it.
Keep writing, all the best.
Please do read my book if you have the time. 'Trapped in Time'.
The author is well versed with the creating a Wonderful world background, characters are exquisitely portrayed. The story seems promising to this point, I hope that author will continue this tactful pace, good luck for this beautiful brainstorming of author San.☺
Writing quality: There are few things that I would have changed but because the story is so good I overlooked them.
Stability of updates: I see no reason or any comments that suggest the stability is not good so keep it up author.
Story development: The story develops nicely I was a bit confused at 1st if the main character Is living same life she did before or if something altered.
Character design: The character design is great. I'm already rooting for the main character she seemed loved by her friends and it made me want to support her.
World background: The world background was a little bit confusing But easily able to be picked up the more you read.
Writing quality: good, just a few typos and tenses but generally good.
Updates; You were able to keep up.
story development: very nice, sometimes progression.
character design: I love it. I know what tala and araw are. I know where Butuan is. Good job.
I have just read the first chapter. I will read a few more later on. If you don't mind my saying please run your content through a grammar correction on line or have it installed on your computer. It is not perfect but the spellings like you will not end up with chick instead of cheek etc.
I check my contents of each chapter through a grammar check as well as a plagarism checker.
On the whole the novel seems interesting. Would like to read more.
No problems for me.
The writing was descriptive enough to paint a picture of the magical realm and characters. However, one of the major issue was the constant switching between past and present tense. I think the author was kind of struggling to use proper tenses. Author should pick one tense and use it consistently throughout otherwise it detracts from smooth narration. Usually present tense for talking, past tense for descriptions.
For example >> “The beast WAS now lying onto the ground. He DOES NOT know if it IS dead, but he knew it COULDN’T harm them anymore.”
Edited example >> “The beast WAS now lying onto the ground. He DID NOT know if it WAS dead, but he knew it COULDN’T harm them anymore.”
Using one tense consistently will make your story flow a lot smoother and easier to grip reader’s attention because you already have the basis for good writing. I hope this helps.
I think it’s still a bit too early in the story to give a proper review of the characters. The character development is slowly progressing with each chapter. My favourite group of characters were the Vice Heads though. They were all so funny fighting with each other. I find there’s an air of mystery around the MC. We know her reason for existence, which is to make sure they win the war given a second chance, but there’s also more that hasn’t been said. I can understand her actions too, because she already knows what’s going to happen in the future. And she’s doing all that she can to stop the tragedy from happening. She’s not wasting any time with her purpose.
World & Story
Overall the pacing of the story is not bad in my opinion and it is still being developed as of this review (I’ve read up to chapter 24). I find myself more invested when Tala was with her guardian peers rather than when she’s in the human realm though. Despite the grammar, I could still imagine the fantasy world the author has created.
Review Swap Valid for Chapter 13
Writing Quality: The writing quality is decent, the story flows very well. Aside from a few grammar mistakes here and there. Which can be fixed by an editor or using writing programmes like grammarly. 🤔 though I do want to ask what's with the random brackets
Example --> Chapter 13 (trouble that they themselves did)
Story Development: In terms of pace, the start chapters went by quickly and there were a few occasions where I had to go back to re-read. But I've always liked face pace started stories - helps get rid of any confusion or questions that arises. Looking forward to seeing how the FL deals with the changes in her new life.
Character Design: There's a lot of characters introduced in the begining chapters. Other than the FL the others background information haven't been explored yet. The FL Tala appears weak at the start of the novel, because of the memories of her past life. Her anguish and pain from her past life help build up her character in this new life.
World Background: I had to re-read to make sure I read the transition properly. Even though it's a new world, some aspects of the old world still remain.
Lovely story concept! I'm so used to transmigration novels, so a time-traveling novel is quite fresh!
The grammar is fairly good. I've noticed very few mistakes in this aspect. The writing itself could use some polishing though. Some phrases could be worded better to create a smoother flow. One thing I want to point out is to keep the verb tenses consistent throughout the story. Sometimes the author switches from past tense to present tense in the same sentence. During the dialogues, the author should use the present tense. During the explaining and text, the author should use the past tense. Despite this mistake though, the author manages to make the story easy to understand. It's just a bit difficult to read.
Stability of Updates: 5/5
Not much to complain here. Viola!
Story Development: 4/5
The plot is interesting, but may feel a bit rushed at times. It is good to get the plot moving, but I would love some more explanation about the world and people. I would also love to know what about the future the MC knows.
Character Design: 4/5
I love the character interactions, especially between the Vice-Heads. However, the characters could use some elaboration and imagery though. Like, there are many characters, and therefore, many names. The author doesn't provide any information on their appearances, so I can't get a picture of the characters in my head. Sometimes I get lost in the dialogues.
World Background: 4/5
Interesting world, I must say! Unlike the characters, there are more details describing the setting, but again, it could use more elaboration. It's good that the author isn't using the textbook dump method to build the world though.
Overall, the story is a good pick. The writing just needs some proofreading and editing and the characters just needs to be described more. Keep up the good work!
So the novel is quite good, I like the main character and I'll keep reading it.
The only thing that I could see as a minus would be that the first few chapters move a tad too fast but that isn't that big of a issue.
First of all, a round of applause to the author for all the characters' names and an awesome storyline. The writing quality was good. Not sure bout the grammr part and so will not touch on that. However, there were few unsuitable word choice (couldn't remember which, but will posts 'em in the comment section in the future) . But, the meaning is still clear. Readers can just ignore them and still able to enjoy the whole story.
Story development was excellent. I am looking forward to Tala's adventure to the human world (is this a spoiler?) Character design was superb! I really love all their names. The specific traits they have were well written and well explained. Overall, this is a book that caught your attention by its uniqueness in term of storyline and character wise.
I've read this novel up to Chapter 11. Here are my thoughts.
There are a few errors when it comes to this. Maybe the author can have a friend proofread or edit for them before posting. There are times where there are missing quotation marks, which makes it difficult to understand what he/she is trying to portray. Maybe downloading the grammarly plugin will help since I'm pretty reliant on that now for spelling errors or missing commas. Another thing, the dialogue for some characters don't necessarily seem to fit them? That might just be me though, but their speech does not play into my idea of how they'd interact with each other (of course, i write mostly about settings in the past. so the dialouge i'm used to writing is a little more formal).
Stability of Updates:
No complaints here really.
There are times when I found it pretty fast, but also times when I found it a little dragging. Especially during the introduction of the heads, etc. I wasn't super invested into that. I was more invested during the periods of Tala's battle scenes or when she's interacting with her peers. If author can recreate the engaging quality of those scenes, it would benefit the book quite well.
This was affected quite a bit by the writing quality. There were some parts that were fine, which let me totally understand what was happening. Unfortunately, there were some parts I had to skim because I couldn't really understand. I understand the overall premise of everything that's happening so far. I found myself feeling more invested during the initial chapters (although, the later chapters were a lot more polished in terms of editing). I think author will eventually find the best mix to help out with the flow. Overall, there was a sense of intrigue that I felt when I was reading through the story.
I can understand where Tala gets her arrogance/confidence from (reincarnation does that). Taking into account her past life, she still acts like a kid. I'm not sure how I feel about that, since she's already choosing to make big moves so early in the story. I'm kind of turned off and on about it at the same time? I think I prefer Adasa's character compared to Tala. There may be a childishness to him because he's like about fourteen as well, but he seems to be pretty mature and level headed for now. Yes, he has the stints against Tala but that's excusable to me because he is a child. Hopefully, the other characters to be featured will be further developed as well! I'm interested in seeing how the relationships with the different guardian classes and heads move the story. I'm also excited to see how Tala's fate plays into everything since she gave up her golden light source to Adasa which doesn't seem like she's done before (we'll see, I guess).
aLSO can we just— rivals to lovers, anyone?? Please???
A little bit info-dumpy, but I dot the gist of it. I hope it's delved into more. The most significant aspect I liked was of the Narra Tree and
I keep imagine stuff when reading this. “Sees a man shrouded in light” I imagine Jesus going like “Hey there girl. Whassup”. When they say “ the force is strong in this child”, I suddenly imagine this child jumping with a light saber. I’m speaking too much none sense. In conclusion, good review right here.
The beginning seems promising. Although the character design needs a bit more work, it is a good story overall.
There are obvious grammatical errors, but it is rather subtle so it won't be too noticeable.
A fantastic story with a lot of things going on side by side. The explanation of the world is neither too deep to bore the reader nor too unclear to leave you wondering on your own, just to the mark. Keep it up author. This world was quite fascinating.. keep creating it
I liked the plot of the story, the characters are pretty good too!
Though there are a few mistakes here and there, but they are not much noticeable. Overall, the story will develop into something amazing!
Keep writing! :)
First of all, love the names! They add nice character to the story. Also, the wanting to go back to the human world premise is uncommonly seen. Usually the MC just skips right to “rebirth/arrival” in said world.
Writing-wise, I saw little that bothered me. Overall, good. I did see some missing dialogue quotations, most notably in chapter 3.
This is only chapter 5, so I can’t judge this story very well yet. At this point, Tala is just trying to go back to the human world and she craftily received the six feathers from the phoenix. In the last chapter, it seems like something else is starting to happen, but it’s unclear as it seems like not everything has been divulged yet.
Read up to chapter 15. The novel is good.
Tala is nice, good Mc and her personality is well described.
The Grammar is good, but the writing of the author could improve a little bit. Sometimes you use a lot of words when we need a short phrase.
I will read the rest of the story later, but so far so good.
I'll be shameless giving myself 5 because I'm proud of my first ever novel. (Well, I know my grammar isn't that good).
WOAH! I'm totally proud that I'd reach this far. 60 chapters? Wasn't that easy, but I nailed it...😄😄🎉
This isn't a romance novel.
This novel will revolve on saving the world against the assault of demons...
A Guardian's job was to maintain the peaceful land of human, and that's what our MC's going to do.