It's half pass eight as I switched on the lights in my room and went straight to my laptop. Flipped up the screen and reached for the start button. While waiting for laptop to start up, I rushed to the shower room and rinse myself in cold water, releasing every stress I had the entire day. I got back to my laptop, logging into the gaming universe called "The World of Twelve". As I was drying my hair, a message popped out.
"Sup Yee! Back from work? How was your day today?"
The message that never fails to put a smile on my face. I started running my fingers across the keyboard with a big smile on my face.
"Yeap. Had dinner and showered too. Just another usual day. Are the rest of them on?"
I turned on the map to track down his location and as soon as I did, I took the nearest boat to where he was. Just as I was on my way there, another message popped out.
"They should be on soon I guess. In the meantime, tell me about your day. Did you subconsciously seduced the realm of possibilities and probabilities with your charms again? Haha just kidding."
It was the usual thing he would ask me to and I enjoy sharing things that happened to me every day. I closed my eyes and recall everything that had happened. He enjoys listening to my stories and always asking for more. It became a habit of mine to share everything that occurred.
My eyes were starting to feel teary and I began yawning. The sentences that I was typing were starting to make no sense.
"It's 10.30pm here Yee. You should be going to bed. Don't want you to be falling asleep at work tomorrow."
"Haha, yea I really should be going. I'll see you again the same time tomorrow?"
"Yea sure. You'll know where to find me. Nights Yee."
I went for the log out button and logged out. Continue to yawn, I reached for my bottle of water and flushed down litres into me. Leaning backwards and having a stretched I saw the clock pointing 3.30am. I snuggled myself to bed and ready to drift off to dream world -- where the ocean is above my head and the sky beneath my feet.
"I did it again."
My usual routine continued, just like how the sun rise from the east and sets on the west. The only thing at this point of my life that could make me smile were his messages.
"Hey Yee! You're late today, what time is it over at your place? It's 7pm here."
"Yo Quant! It's 12am here. I worked the later shift today. I'm ending my work soon so gonna be night shift these few days."
We lived 5 hours apart and half way across the globe. He had some circumstances that he couldn't go out of where he stays and so he's always online to wait for the rest of us.
"Wow Yee is really late today." said Fandy. "It's the first time I am earlier than you. My boss let me off earlier."
"Yea Yee. He was even earlier than Agam and I." said Aruna
"We ran a few dungeons already. You wanna run any dungeons?" asked Quant
"Nah, I'll go off at around 1am my time. Been a long hectic day."
As my eyes were feeling tired, I took a glance at the clock. I said my goodbyes and logged off, watching the time turned 2am. Little did I know, he was missing for following 3 days and there was no way to contact him. My laptop was just sitting there on my table and my brain started to throw in all possible bad scenarios that could have happened to him, I was falling deeper and deeper into the realm of thoughts that is known as overthinking.
Just as I was sinking and accepting myself as a part of the realm, a message popped up on my phone. I jumped and got straight to my laptop.
"Where have you been Quant?! I was worried for you!"
"Hey Yee. Sorry I collapsed and was in a short coma. Sorry to make all of you worried."
"Did you miss your medication again?" asked Schizo, a medical student in training
"Can't hide anything from you heh." Quant replied
My heart sank. I knew his condition got worst but knowing that there is nothing I can do for him made me feel worse. I was at loss of words. I needed him to know I will always be here for him but my fingers wouldn't move. I just went for the log out button and threw myself on the bed. His condition was worse than I thought and I knew exactly why he didn't tell me.
Weeks passed, I know the medications were not working so well. There are days where I sat in front of my laptop with my phone placed right next to it. Hoping I would receive a message that he is online and I will just flip the screen open.
"Quant. Take the surgery. I cannot bear seeing you suffer. I heard it from Schizo already."
"…So you knew." There was a pause before the next message came in. "If you said so, I will go for the surgery."
"Please be back…I'll be waiting for you."
"I will be back eventually for sure. I don't know when but I will be back home soon!"
Days later, it was 15 pass 10 as my phone rang. I reached for my phone and swipe open the message. With only one eye opened, I saw the update on the date of his surgery. It was the same day as my college orientation which is in a week's time. He was not going online anymore from today till the day of his surgery. I bounced off my bed and flipped open my laptop. I clicked into my email and stuff all my feelings into the email. As I enter the last word and clicked on the send button, I broke. Tears were rolling down from my eyes like a broken tap, heart was aching like it has been trampled over. I shoved my face into my pillow to suppress my voice that sounded like a dying walrus.
After a long week of orientation, my usual routine, I dragged myself to my room and threw myself, instead of the bed, I threw myself on the floor. I stared into the empty space, feeling that empty portion deep within my heart, a piece of me that has been taken away. I clicked into my inbox on my phone and saw a new email. The last words he left for me before he went for his surgery got my tear glands dried up.
[I will eventually be back.]
Words that kept me running for months, throwing all possible hope, believing in his worlds. Months later, I was at the state of breaking down and I've decided to log back in to go back to where I belong. The place I once belongs became a place filled with strangers.
"Hey…Anyone care to spare a little of their time? SOS."
Minutes later without waiting for a reply, I logged myself out and hid under my blanket. I closed my eyes trying to run away from reality but tears were beating within my eyes. I reached for my vibrating phone, on the screen showed an unknown number called. I hesitated for a while but decided to clear my throat before answering.
"Hello? Yee? Fandy here. You alright?"
Hearing Fandy from the other side of the phone made me snapped. I broke out in tears and cried for hours across the phone. I could hear Fandy trying his best to calm a devastated and depressed crying girl. His method did not work so let stayed on line and let me cry myself to sleep. The next day, I woke up with the news that I was not informed. A reality that I didn't want to admit. They did their best not to break the news to me during the start of my new chapter and also exam period knowing that I will be devastated.
[His lungs collapsed after the surgery. He's no longer with us.]
I laid in bed, staring to the ceiling. My eyes were painful and my pillow was wet. The edge my sleeves were drenched with tears, my heart was filled with emptiness and wrapped with sadness. This is not the reality that I want to face as I closed my eyes to escape into my own world.
I crawled to my room and threw myself on the bed as usual. I stared at the ceiling and go into deep thoughts. I turned and looked at the calendar, forced a smile.
"It's been 3 years. Took me long enough to accept the fact that you're really, not with us anymore. I've grew so much as a person, someone you'll be proud off. Thanks for being there for me and always living within me as memories."
I closed my eyes and the words he had in his last letter echoed in my ears
"Fate, Destiny, Coincidence… I might never be sure what led me to you."
"Whether it was by chance or on the whim of cosmoverse to bend time and space that brought you to me, I do not know and I do not mind not knowing. I know among all the people out there in the vastness, you found me and I'm glad you found me."
"I'd like you to have the story you deserve, the story that is meant for you."
I whispered to myself, "Thank you and take care."
It's a story closely related to a friend of mine who passed away.
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