28Reviews
4.6
- Writing Quality
- Stability of Updates
- Story Development
- Character Design
- World Background
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LV 1
zd4zaaa
Hey there!
Good day for writing! If you wanted to see whether you can get paid by distributing the current work or getting financial support by writing new work, you might want to contact geekyteddyyo@gmail.com. A brief introduction, some sample chapters or links will be appreciated when reaching out.
LV 1
kenstory
Hey there!
Good day for writing! If you wanted to see whether you can get paid by distributing the current work or getting financial support by writing new work, you might want to contact avarohm_review@outlook.com. A brief introduction, some sample chapters or links will be appreciated when reaching out.
LV 14 ![Badge]()
imperfectlyperfect
The intro is half good. It sheds light on the main character but nothing at all on the world he lives in. So, l have to pick up clues about demonic beasts, superpowers, etc as I go on with difficulty. The prologue should have also introduced me to the realms, where they are, what creatures inhabit them, and so on. Still, its a good if l don't get frustrated because of my ignorance when a new term is used
LV 4 ![Badge]()
90751052
The overall world building is stunning considering the number of details placed into the story. Grammar is pretty good and the story flows well. If you want a unique story that actually expands upon the kingdom building, here's your cup of tea.
(Honestly, the synopsis doesn't do the book justice since it makes it seem like a generic story of the genre when its not)
Keep up the good work, author! >3</
LV 4 ![Badge]()
Nightmare_Taichou
This story is amazing! It gave me an RPG feel with the tiers and levels but this story is amazing!
Five stars for everything except the world background. While I'm only at chpt. 15, I felt that more could have explained about the fantasy world.
But another book to add to my library~!
LV 5 ![Badge]()
StenDuring
This review is part of a review swap and valid as of chapter 32.
First of all I need to state that I personally dislike litrpg, and that the main reason for that dislike is because it turns a fantasy story into a system fantasy story.
This is not litrpg, but it is most definitely a system fantasy story.
Now when I've accounted for my dislikes I'm also going to flat out state that this is an absolutely amazing story. To the degree I can pretend I'm not seeing the references to levels and tiers.
What we have is kind of a reversed transported to another world story. Sure, we have this guy from our own Earth transported into fantasy land, and he is one of the main characters. End of similarities.
The story is told from the perspective of fantasy land. This is absolutely central. It means that the rest of the ensemble cast have their own individual plans and ambitions, and while the outworlder arrival plays an important role, he's still just another player in this world.
The story is set in a faux fantasy version of the Roman Empire with magic. Apart from titles and names there's honestly very little resemblance with any Roman Empire from our past.
At chapter 32 the story has just begun. As far as I can see it's going in the direction of kingdom building, but I could be wrong. It's most definitely following the archetypical gathering of a dungeon party but on a much larger scale. Where you'd normaly recruit a mage, here they're recruiting a mage commander with a lot of retainers.
These guys aren't planning a dungeon crawl -- they're planning to crawl all over the continent.
And now for the stars.
Writing. Five stars. This should have been four and a half stars. There's something slightly off with the Engish used.
Updates. Four stars. While changes to updating schedules are explicitly announced, the fact remains that there are changes to said schedule.
Story: Five stars. Did I mention earlier that the story is absolutely amazing?
Character: Five stars. This should have been four and a half stars. There's a horde of characters in the story. I probably should have shaved an entire star, but since this is a system fantasy I'll refrain from doing so. In this case I'll accept that they rely on levels and tiers rather than being wary of other players' strength and weaknesses.
World: Four stars. While I could show some leniency concerning characters, I'll definitely yank a star here. While the world shown is good, there's simply not enough shown and way too much told in terms of levels and tiers. The characters don't experience the world -- it can all be looked up in a dictionary.
Lastly, for the reader reviewing this story, it's a tale distinctly better than its execution. While plot is flawless, world and to some degree character suffers. Let's face it, I'm subjective; I believe there's a valid reason I dislike system fantasy.
Reveal Spoiler 
LV 10 ![Badge]()
lets_get_this_rice
The whole kingdom building type novels are far to few in numbers..
And when you find a incredibly well written one with all the other aspects needed to create something equal to pure gold. THATS the day you read this one.
The grammar is almost completly flawless. You will only find some VERY minor things somewhere in there.
The story is incredibly well written, with both super character design and world building it would shake your brain far to many times as you progress throughout the story.
Sadly, there is one flaw..... the slow release.
Other than that, I can't find anything which substantially decreased by interest.
All the best to you, Author!
Keep up the good work!
LV 4 ![Badge]()
WWFire
The story start up strong, i.e. with MC and other characters straight in a battlefield. What I noticed until this point is that the author decided for "strong character interactions" part at the start of the story (considering the bigger ratio of dialogue:narration). It was not until chapter 6 did he picked up on the "world building" part, which will be revealed slowly as the story go (good point here). Other than that, I have to admit that the writing quality is superb, which also supports the great story flow.
But honestly, I don't like how the synopsis had too little content for it as the story doesn't deserve such small info. If you could write such an awesome content, it won't hurt to add a little more to the synopsis. Also, I would like to tell you to be careful on character diversity as it is quite a challenge (imo) in a hierarchic world (i.e. the supporting characters of the lord)
LV 12 ![Badge]()
jikanyotomare
the synopsis is very brief, however the story is great.
more over the narrative is interesting and pleasant to read. you need to read by yourself to know what i mean.
go read it! you will not regret it... author sama please keep going!
LV 4 ![Badge]()
PoppyQueen
I read your story and personally liked it. The world building is natural and doesn't seem forced. In addition, I really like the tiny-bits of romance that show up.
LV 5 ![Badge]()
Chryiss
A lot of detail and thought went into world building. This, as well as your writing overall, is good. There’s rather a lot of dialogue/reporting/ordering, even during fights, and while I don’t mind so much, I prefer feeling as if I was in the scene/action. Aureus is very kingly, and I like his poise, but I don’t feel as much of a connection as I would like to the MC. Perhaps because we can’t hear his thoughts much, unlike Edward who we can as soon as he arrives in the new world? Otherwise, this is well written and the details are understandable. I’m rather curious about the gates~~ Hmm, keep up the good work!
LV 4 ![Badge]()
Paper_Crane
Cool, great, amazing. Let me go take a dictionary to find all the synonyms.
No words can describe your work, I'm truly astonished. Great vocab, great starter, and great character.
Hoping that the plot could develop further.
LV 5 ![Badge]()
VlassisBehrakis
I thoroughly enjoyed it. It scratched my need for a decent kingdom building story on the macro level. It is rather interesting that the transmigrated character originally had a secondary position but slowly seems to rose to be the main character instead. Additionally, the characters are believable and real maybe add some stronger vices. That is all cheers.
LV 4 ![Badge]()
UnliMegane
Wild megane, dropping in for a review! A pretty nice read we got here. For some reason, I kept being reminded of 'Tales of the Reincarnated Lord' while I was reading.
I like the ancient Roman theme you got going. It's also more of a Western fantasy novel mixed with some eastern elements rather than the other way around; which is a nice change of pace from the typical translated Chinese webnovels of the same genre.
The grammar is superb, except for a few hiccups here and there. Nothing too major; and most of the time, dialogue and scene depictions are nice and smooth.
The scene transitions are nice and quick; though sometimes, a little too quick. It just felt a bit awkward at times. But maybe it's just me lol.
All in all, a nice read if you're interested in this genre. It also has great grammar, so readability (or lack thereof) isn't a problem. Great job.
LV 4 ![Badge]()
Book_Keeper
Hello, your novel has been assessed and review by Virtual Bookshelf.
A review excerpt is as follows:
Dialogue:
Right off the bat in the prologue, it’s dialogue heavy. And from there to throughout the story, this remains the same. While many great works have heavy dialogues, those dialogues do more than just explanation or introduction, they convey meaning, set up events, and establish the speaker’s character. While it is okay to do it in moderation, dialogue should not be the main means of communicating events or information. Unfortunately, this was the case in this story.
“Show, don’t tell.” Everyone understands what this means, but it’s often harder to apply. Dialogue is by no means a way of showing just because a character is physically speaking. It can, but in this story, it wasn’t. Almost all actions were told through dialogue. And because the characters didn’t have many descriptive words on how they talked, the dialogue gave little to no insight on the speaker’s character. This can be accomplished through action verbs such as mused, interjected, denounced, stated, exclaimed, professed, whispered, chuckled, and or a combination of adverbs, adjectives, and gestures. .........(cont.)
The full review is linked to your title on: https://virtualbookshelf.home.blog/2019/02/02/webnovel-assessments-10/
After three chapters, you may request to be assessed again.
Thank you, and the best of luck on your writing endeavors! :)
LV 13 ![Badge]()
Xincerely
Oh my goodness, my first five star everything!! The writing is superb in this story, there's no grammar mistakes (that I've saw) and the world building is really nice in this story! The dialogues are well written and I loved how the prologue gave a good insight on the world and background of the story, just wished the prologue included some descriptions instead of a long conversation, but that's a minor flaw cx.
Loving this story so far, the updates just keeps on rolling out! everything is amazing about this story, can't wait to read more!!
LV 5 ![Badge]()
SerBlueom
THIS BOOK IS AMAZING. NO MUCH ELSE TO SAY EXCEPT READ IT YOU DUCKS ———————- 140 hunderd lettee 140 letters i would type 140 letters blau blahf jeo hf jeff Jeff Geoff jet left rift bigs bigot fart nsivvvgg —-___________________________
LV 12 ![Badge]()
yoursexypotato
Bro, your work is just stunning. Even if I exclude my Fantasy bias, it's still super good.
I can't find anything out of place. The dialogues are just right, especially when it comes to their approach. The novel and author deserve a bright future.
Kudos!
LV 4 ![Badge]()
Jamison_C
Hi all, Jamison the author here :)
Giving myself a 4/5 stars review in all aspects.
While I do not believe that 'perfect works' exist, it is my goal to work towards perfecting my craft.
Thank you all for reading my work! It is my Raison D'etre.
Shout out to Webnovel for granting my feature request :)
LV 4 ![Badge]()
luna_sol
First of all I wanna say that your writiung quality is really good 😍😍compare to mine lol. I advise other to read this novel because it is well done. The story development is perfect and the author convey it well to the readers, although the updates are different day each time, each chapter is long.
Anyway good job. Please continue doing you work 😀😀
LV 5 ![Badge]()
Shakurr
Perfecttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡
LV 5 ![Badge]()
luoshenhua
You seem to have really thought out the world that you're building really well, and it stands out to me as a genre I haven't seen much of on this site. However, I think that it's a bit too dialogue-heavy, with a lack of description about the setting and characters who are talking, so it kind of reads to me as more of a script than a novel.
LV 13 ![Badge]()
MishaK
The story is developing nicely. However the only thing I would ask is that you update the chapters at least twice a day! Rest everything is good.
LV 5 ![Badge]()
Apophis9
Writing quality is good as far as I see, what it lacks is the details that make it easier for readers to comprehend what is happening, else everything else is okay :).
LV 5 ![Badge]()
ASlyDrake
An interesting story, that is at the moment heavily inclined towards a military setting. How this will change with time is something we will have to see. Overall few mistakes, most of them relating to punctuation, a good read I'd recommend.
LV 4 ![Badge]()
ArcaneDragon
This is a fantasy story but for it's more like military fiction. I think everything is ok and the story will develop later. Writing quality seems ok to me. The story, world and characters seem interesting. As long you want a detailed report of all your mistakes, go and ask Demon lord on our thread xD If I have time I will try to update review after you write more chapters.
LV 13 ![Badge]()
Anya_Nesh
This is the first fantasy novel I read. Although not all details seemed clear to me, it was very interesting to emerge into the work of the author. I liked it that the author let the readers know about the update schedule. This has raised my confidence that the author is serious about the project and will not abandon it on the half way through.
Aida_Brown