Nice story, I like the scene where Alfi met Megumi at last, and that was hilarious. Meeting your Waifu in real human form, that will make everyone envy. And the scene where Kartika feel for Alfi, that went too fast, dude, well, just like what happened to my story in which the heroine always give the protagonist trouble LOL
Good luck, dude.
I love this story
I don't know what sort of POV the story is written in. The banter is unusual and jarring and grammar errors are a huge issue.
Characters are a bit unreal, the setting is not clearly outlined and information is mixed up.
I would recommend serious editing. Good luck.
Writing Quality: Good and readable
Updating Stability: Superb and always updated!
Story Development: Nice pacing
Character Design: It's nice and clean
World Background: Had enough to engage more chapters.
You did great work at breaking the 4th wall. When you started with "Once upon a time" I was thrown off guard as authors don't usually use it to show variation but you actually pull it off fine.
Keep up great work author
nice plot and storyline, love the php scrypt for the magic spells, but beware of the typo kkk...hmm what else should I type.. ah, waiting for next update lolz
Hey Webnovelist!
Good day for writing! If you want to see whether you can get paid by distributing the current work or getting financial support by writing new works, you might want to email rebecca.review@outlook.com. We are mainly looking for adventure novels (Fantasy, Sci-fi, Paranormal Urban, Action, Thriller/Suspense, Game). A brief introduction, along with a few samples or links, will be appreciated when reaching out. You might be our next top writer!
Honestly, I'm laughing my ass off when reading the hilarious scene when Author and Alfi break the 4th wall but nonetheless, it's maybe can be compared to Konosuba but just tone it down and don't overdo the absurd comedy part.
As mentioned in my chapter comment, I think this is a unique idea! I want to see what happens with this writing style in the future, so please keep us updated!
Surya_Aleksi541