What a surprise, it's a lot better than I expected from initial impressions.
I know what some readers are thinking but I swear- after you get over the first dozen chapters- it gets a lot better. It's not just a dude being creepy and some smut, I know those first few chaps are give the impressions otherwise but it's at most like 25 %.
For me I made it as far as CH 31 and gave myself time to digest.
After the eh ok sexual fantasy chapters are done with there's a whole world hiding back there. English and grammar wise it's actually a lot better than the majority of things in this genre on WN. Smut wise- eh it's alright. I can't really find myself believing that these two are in love or that there's any chemistry btwn them. That's fair- young lust doesn't mean love. Even if the ML goes on waxing prose- which has some quality potential don't get me wrong.
I just don't feel anything for them as a couple- or any couple here actually. I don't get those shippy or emotional feels.
One of my favorite things however is stories that peel back layers to a deeper more intricate world, and there are certainly chips and hints of that coming. There's so much room for our characters to develop and many conspiracies behind this seemingly picturesque royalty. I feel like the author really had great budding talent in world building and I appreciate the POC leads and characters with references to real problems in society and history. So much potential!
That being said- potential doesn't always reach, at least not yet. Like some good ingredients and application but it's not quite there as a great story even though it can be.
As a reader, I've become interested in the increasingly suspicious world, in the main girl, in the side characters and the mysterious past. Side characters of all sorts have caught my attention, but not the main character. I know this is the prince's story and it's about his development but I just can't bring myself to care anything for him or his plights.
Without giving any spoilers- this can be such an interesting world and story. IT's just not there yet for me.
There's a lot of inspiration going on here so it's a mash of cultures- though the Japanese inspirations are used more as aesthetics than anything so history fans, don't get too detailed/harsh. There is a good handful of side characters including the main girl who just piques my curiosity- the author makes you want to uncover more about them. Sometimes things play out like bits of a classic Korean melodrama- a little predictable, many parts basic, but still fun.
Author I also think that you would get a lot more readers if you changed the description or at least added a bit more synopsis in addition to the quote. Give people more of an idea of what to want.
All the best and happy writings!
So, having read the first 8 or so chapters, I have two thoughts-
First, you have skill when it comes to forming prose, especially erotic prose. Your storytelling technique, as far as the usage of words is concerned, is solid. Definitely above average for the platform.
Second, however, you are wasting that skill writing something like this. This story COULD be VERY interesting, if told solely from the slave/songbird's perspective. Her inner monologue could be FASCINATING. I want to understand her discomfort and fear from the prince's advances, her confusion at taking pleasure from unwanted sex, her rebellious streak when facing his obsession with her.
I DON'T want to hear the prince perving out about a young girl and reducing her to ****meat every time they're together. That's both gross and not fun to read, even in spite of your sometimes beautiful prose. Which is a shame. There's a really good seed of a story in her, but I don't see you utilizing it correctly, which is a damn shame because your prose really is incredibly vivid and beautiful.
I will keep an eye on this moving forward. Let me know if you produce any other works!
Our little song bird is in the middle of something bad and it’s nothing she can control. I fear she isn’t the only one who will be damaged either. The king is provoking the prince in a bad way and the collateral damage will be too much for the whole kingdom.
Great Story 😤❤❤❤❤❤❤
Interesting concept. I see he is infatuated with the young slave girl. Is that who his asking to be at his chambers by sun-set? I like the names of your characters, but they are so hard to remember nor along pronounce and spell out. Lol I enjoyed your first chapter.
Hmmm. ... this prince is definitely playing with fire now to threaten his king and dare him to challenge him with death over the slave girl... I am anxious and fearful of what will happen now. His love for the girl still comes off as too one-sided and unhealthy at this point. I worry that he will come to resent her or himself because of the lust he Carrie's for her.. hope it blossoms into real love for them both before something tears tolerable happens and she is killed...or winds up pregnant or alone.
Normally, I will quit reading a story if I find it had more than 10 grammatical errors. While this story has numerous typos, misspellings, and wrong word usage, I found that I could not stop reading. The plot, characters, and world are wonderful, although sometimes some characters’ appearance slips my mind from what the author intended and I end up with something else entirely. I am anxiously awaiting new chapters to be released. I also love that they are nice long chapters (20-30 pages!). Keep them coming!
This book deserves more ratings and recognition. The story keeps me at the edge of the seat! I am hooked to this storyline and the hot forbidden romance between a prince and a slave. The chemistry between both characters is so strong that I could feel it. The prince may have been forceful at first but his way of showing her he cares makes his character redeemable. I also love the spiciness of the erotic parts of the novel. Really well done and arousing!
I never read a book that had multiple chapters that made me cry. The vocabulary is spectacular and each of the characters are well thought out. I can't wait to hear more details about each of their backgrounds and see more of their personalities.
To the author: please keep writing this story and don't give up on it. This is really amazing and I like where this is going.
Anyone who stumbles upon this novel, give it a chance, it won't disappoint!
Omg chapter Seven... Wow I have never disliked a rumpnin the sheets as much as I disliked this....Great JOB! Steller imagery and emotional cadence throughout this chapter. I really sensed the princes longing and desperation and disgust. It was compelling and tragic. Can't wait to see how this goes.
Great post, I like that the prince is being kind to her and enjoying her rather than taking what he needs and moving on. He seems to truly be concerned about her. This prince is delicious in his hunger for her, but now the arranged marriage will put the damper on things. He seems concerned over his duty, but what about his heart? And if the slave girl becomes pregnant? Will that complicates things or do the handlers ensure that no royal bastard ever takes seed inside the harem?
Nice build up, the anticipation will kill me now. Great post.He attempted conversation. How interesting. However, his lust seems foremost in control. I hope K may get some enjoyment from this but she is so uptight.