35.13% Pursuit of Wonder / Chapter 13: The Secret To A Successful Long-term Relationship - Why Love Is So Hard

Chapter 13: The Secret To A Successful Long-term Relationship - Why Love Is So Hard

Although it is true that we fall in love, that does not mean that once we fall, we just simply lie there.

That infatuating sense of love that we feel when we first fall for someone cannot last forever.

This sensation is merely the brain's way of attempting to motivate reproduction.

It comes, works to do its job, and then leaves.

But the relationship formed from it does not have to.

If the relationship is honest and worthy, the true love underneath can live on.

True love can perpetuate when one understands that, like everything in life, love goes through various stages and conditions.

It molds to our unique and changing life, and we must adapt and react accordingly.

The unconscious and lustful love that we experience during the honeymoon-phase of relationships is often easy and carefree.

But this phase will eventually fade, and you must ensure that the individuals that you choose to engage in relationships with for the purpose of love are individuals of whom you will still want and enjoy love with when the roses die.

True love requires effort.

And you must work to ensure that such effort is worthwhile.

Like everything in life, you get what you put in.

And things that are worth a lot, require a lot.

By being aware of and embracing the effort that must come after the initial surge of love flees, you can work to facilitate love beyond just lust and romance.

You can merge your life with another persons and experience the wonder of genuine connection.

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We must constantly check our pride and ego within a relationship and prevent any sense of selfishness within it.

You must be mindful and consider what differences you and your partner have.

What is it that they like that you do not, and vice versa?

We must not let our selfishness prevent us form providing a balanced and mutual exchange of love according to each partners' needs and preferences.

We must constantly make sacrifices and be willing to give up portions of our life that help balance out our partners, trusting that they will do the same for us.

As scary as this may be, it is one of the only risks worth taking in life.

A life experienced without connection and love is a life unfulfilled.

It is an incomplete work of art.

If we wish to earn the experience of true love and fulfill the work of art that is our life, we must realize the balance between the unconscious, infatuating acquisition of love, and the conscious conservation of it.

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