11Reviews
4.6
- Writing Quality
- Stability of Updates
- Story Development
- Character Design
- World Background
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LV 1
Ken_ringdomstory
Hey Webnovelist!
Good day for writing! If you wanted to see whether you can get paid by distributing the current work or getting financial support by writing new work, you might want to email kenreview@outlook.com We are mainly looking for adventurous novels (Fantasy, Sci-fi, Paranormal Urban, Action, Thriller/Suspense, Game Fiction). A brief introduction along with a few samples or links will be appreciated when reaching out. You might be our next top writer!
LV 4 ![Badge]()
Midir_Nisba
Just for the cover, I need to rate it 5 stars. Indeed it makes me think of the Faraam knight of Dark souls also even if I'm currently not reading it, will read the story next week and give my true thought on it.
LV 4 ![Badge]()
The_Procrastinator
i love this novel! thank you for writing this, Author! more chapters please! ^_^ i love this novel! thank you for writing this, Author! more chapters please! ^_^ i love this novel! thank you for writing this, Author! more chapters please! ^_^ i love this novel! thank you for writing this, Author! more chapters please! ^_^ i love this novel! thank you for writing this, Author! more chapters please! ^_^ i love this novel! thank you for writing this, Author! more chapters please! ^_^ i love this novel! thank you for writing this, Author! more chapters please! ^_^ i love this novel! thank you for writing this, Author! more chapters please! ^_^ i love this novel! thank you for writing this, Author! more chapters please! ^_^ i love this novel! thank you for writing this, Author! more chapters please! ^_^ i love this novel! thank you for writing this, Author! more chapters please! ^_^ i love this novel! thank you for writing this, Author! more chapters please! ^_^ i love this novel! thank you for writing this, Author! 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Reveal Spoiler 
LV 2 ![Badge]()
FadyHQ
So I was a lil hard when reviewing this, but mostly cause of 2 reasons, the speed at which chapters are released and the development of the story. That aside however, I think this story has a huge potential, the world seems very interesting and the ideas and creativity which it allows are tremendous. Very recommended for someone that just wants to dip their toes into webnovels.
LV 3 ![Badge]()
YuuysukeYaja
I may not have read too many chapters, but it already got me interested, I must say, it does have good details and everything, I will continue to read it, Keep on writing!
LV 3 ![Badge]()
ScholarlyDaoist
I suppose it's time for me to review my own book.
TLDR: In a nutshell, it has potential, and lots of it. If worked on correctly, it could become huge. Believe not in what it is now, but what it will be in the future.
Sadly, I seem to be the obstacle that stands in its way. I will do my utmost best to remedy that, and can only plead for your patience.
The writing quality is very subjective. It might seem good to some, and trash to others. The only way for you to know is to read it for yourself and decide afterwards.
Stability of updates, hmm, that's a foreign concept to me, at least for the time being. I try to keep up 2 chapters a week, but I'm in a tough, transitional spot in my life right now, which demands my time and attention, lest I risk becoming a NEET. When it comes to my frequency of updates, I can only ask for forgiveness.
Story development is something that will take time, and this novel will be quite long. If you as a reader wish to stick around and observe the story throughout its growth, I can guarantee you'll have a good time. If you lack the patience to deal with my sorry self, then you may move on. I won't blame you.
Character design, huh? I've got a lot of juicy things planned, and if you stay long enough to see them, you'll know that it was worth it. It's one of the things I'm looking forward to the most, and I hope you will too!
World background, most likely the bread and butter of this novel, honestly. I've got a fantastic world to showcase and explore with all of you, but once again, that will take time and patience.
If anyone has read this far, I have one last message:
Our main characters are blank pieces of paper at the start.
They are young, illiterate, and just waiting to be dyed with the colours of the best and worst that the world has to offer. They may seem to lack personality, and the story lacking depth/meaning, but wait till I get to show what's in store for all of your eyes.
Essentially, the books seems to be simple now: Sunshine, rainbows (though I haven't written any in), happy smiles and occasional tantrums. There has been no real problems or suffering. Yet.
The story will grow in complexity and depth as the characters age, and they experience new things. As the world they know grows, so will their horizons. As they mature, so will the novel, I will only give a few stanzas lacking any rhyme whatsoever, that will allude to the structure of the story, and the characters.
Ahem.
A childhood so blurry, so lacking in awareness, so forgotten.
Teenagers who can fight, laugh, cry, and scream all at once, dying the world with their colours, as the world dyes them in return.
Young adults who discover the world around them, seeing it for the first time, as what it has been, what it has always been, and what it will become. Who are they, really? What are their morals? What is truly right? And who should they ask, when there is no one who knows?
Adults who struggle, who mourn, who carry out their duties, but where are their dreams in the midst of all this? Deceased. They live, they laugh. They weep, they are depressed. Two sides of the same coin that is life. Where does one go, when all they see in front of them is death and destruction, and they are the cause?
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Well, that was my honest review, based on how satisfied I am with the current 25/???? chapters of the story.
Here's one skill point and some other stuff as a quest reward for making it down here!
*You have received a Quest Reward!*
+1 Skill Point
+69 Gold
+420 Exp
LV 11 ![Badge]()
Sly_Lyon
This was a strange read. I should be bored whilst reading through this. The plot is bland and nonexistent at times, the characters are nothing special, the dialogue is boring and expected, the tempo of the story feels suffocating at times. But the keyword there is "should be", because honest to god I wasn't.
When I started reading this I said to myself I'd read through the entire novel in order to review it. The first four chapters I had to force myself through, but after that, I started naturally reading the story without having to put any effort into it. I enjoyed the story.
I think it's because the world you have created is really really something else. The world feels like the odd one out, of all the other story traits. If this was a competitive game and each section was a player, the world would be carrying hard. I find it well made, and incredibly interesting. The powers, the cities, the power scalings, the tests all of that was amazing.
I also have to tell you that your vocabulary is amazing. It really is good, you describe everything you want to describe precicely how you want it. Your grammar is also good, and your sentence structure is very formal and right. This makes it so that you can say what you want to say and convey an idea very clearly.
Keyword, idea. Have you ever heard of the advice "show, don't tell", I doubt it. Because through your story there was a whole lot of tell and very very little show. Usually, this type of writing gets boring, but because your world is so interesting, I didn't mind you telling me about it instead of showing me.
“By the time he reached home, the sun had risen, and most of birkstead’s inhabitants were awake and about”, this sentence is really easy to translate into a showing instead of telling.
The first four chapters were without a plot, there was no conflict, no plot and no reason for me to read on. The plot is what makes the story I think because without plot it's just an info dump. That's what I feel your story is at points, a massive info dump. Once again, because of the great world, you have built I don't mind as much.
When they depart towards the capital, I think is when the plot really started picking up. It made the entire story a lot more interesting which was good.
I think I even read you typing, "world-building arc" somewhere. Which was a completely new word for me, I don't think you are going about your world building arc properly. Sometimes underselling is key, and it's tricky but you have to find creative avenues of sneaking in world-building. I know it's kind of a dilemma to have such a great world but to restrict yourself to not showing it for the story but that's what makes writing so difficult.
The dialogue felt bland because at times it felt forced and you didn't put personalities into dialogues. “As expected, he’s not the brightest with his head but his combat sense is blinding!”, the first chapter has this thought prompt, he was six here, nobody thinks like this whilst they are six. Intelligence plays no part in this, the wording and emphasis is what makes me think its bland. There were also parts in dialogue where I thought, would THEY really speak like this? My answer: no.
I think all the characters you introduced seemed slightly cliché. Aiden felt like a breath of personality, it showed in how he spoke and in his actions. I don't feel the same way about the other characters in the novel. I don't know why, the former pirate was strict and showed piratey actions(like bullying and insisting being called captain), the tier 4 demi-god was infuriated when spoken disrespectfully to by mortals, His friend which was talented but dumber did act dumber then William. Still, I can't put words to it, there was something crucial missing about those characthers.
Chapter 14, in particular, felt really weird to read through. So far, I read about William and his best friend, not about Ronald. So when such an important conflict arises, why do you not show me the people I care about? Fair enough that you give me a chapter after that but I felt it not necessary to see Ronald's actions. At least show me the important fight before the world-building fight.
Overall, GJ.
LV 3 ![Badge]()
MokouFriedChicken
Where to begin.. Well, its really good. With well written dialogue, minimal grammatical errors to speak of, and a whole lot of good prose, this story stands out among its sea of competitors by having real characters that actually feel real. Do read this if you're interested. A nd keep on writing 👍
LV 2 ![Badge]()
Philip_Valentic
Having known the author for a bit of time, and for all of that time knowing how creative he is, it is amazing to see everything coming together. He has always talked about writing a book or novel, and is constantly coming up with new ideas or concepts. The story overall is great to read, it ties in mainstream concepts with things that all gamers can relate to and enjoy reading. Proud of you man, keep up the great work! Much love!
LV 1
molnaradel1937
This is very good story, I was very invested in the great story line it is very cool with very different ideas and explores different genres
mrmrcia