Author, it must guy do you good to rewrite this chapter. Especially the portion before his reincarnation. That was pitiful. It was just empty. You basically said:
MC was born. MC stalked, then killed, got caught, got out, killed again, killed scientist, and died because of a “varied” device. It’s not my place to demand you change it, but I’m sure you understand that, on top of the fact that you haven’t included a synopsis, you let your potential readers start of with something so lack luster. It’d do you good to flesh it out. You don’t have to give a more sciency explanation for his death, or a reason why he kept killing. You just need to keep in mind that it’s going to be the first thing readers pay attention to in your book.
Really hope you change it.
Hi , people author here , I read most of the comments and reviews on this book and I want to give a good news to you people , about ten days later , I and other native editor and a person who has experience in editing the books will going to edit the book from the start.So for now , thank you all of kind comments and reviews , just know that book will not going to stay like this and it will be edited , thank you !
This is the first chapter and I'm already liking it! Great hook,, I'm also refreshed with this first chapter. The reason being that most novels, especially those that concern a system of sorts, consist of huge info dumps and text walls making us readers extremely confused and having to read and re read a few times.
It's perfectly fine to properly lay out the world's rules and laws at a decently slow pace, and its inner workings and lore can be inserted later as a form of world development/building.
Very good organization on your part author-san!
Thanks for the chapter~
hey, you should use some other way that isn´t as repetitive as saying "Martin" at the beginning of every paragraph, it´s way to repetitive and i´m so fed up with it. Also it´s way too fast, you should slow down, put more detail.
I wanted to add that the narrative is way too fast paced but noticed that everybody feels the same.. Why do authors want to rush such kind of stories.. Dude.. Chill down! Nobody is hunting you . Just take your time and have fun while writing