It's an interesting story with intriguing characters...but there is plenty of room for improvement.
Capitalization is a problem, as well as comma usage and sentences that last for multiple paragraphs. A bigger issue, though, would be the placement. A sentence can mean different things based on where the punctuation is, so that should be kept in mind.
For the story, it has a bit of a problem with agency. Things happen to the MC instead of the other way around. They make the trajectory of the story feel uncertain, which is bad over an extended period of time.
Hmmm..... I read this novel because of Yuri Tag....... But....... In the end, Is disappointed me a lot
First potensial Harem member is killed by Mc, C'mon tshe evil and use dark art but you are demon so why you kill her... Because she Evil? That idiot
Second MC, abandon sick and malnourished little girl but have Great Potensial Ability... And the little girl dead because mc not save her
Third Mc meet Demon girl like her i hope some yuri deplopment but, in Reality
she evil demon who want to take over mc body, and she die too
So in the end, This novel is not For Yuri reader...
So far, I only read 21 Chapter
I like the story so far, release schedule is not stable. I like the characters, quite fun to read and there's yuri. You can never go wrong with yuri. Overallits quite good but needs more improvement on the grammatical side to be a five star review.
Overall it's pretty interesting.
Obviously It's too soon to give a decent evaluation of the story, since at the moment there are only 9 chapters, but so far it's engaging and the main character is quite interesting.
The writing isn't perfect, but I already noticed some improvement, which is more than promising. Also the chapters are long enough to be satisfactory :)
I look forward to the future of this story.
The writing quality seems good enough, other than some simple errors, overall it is good so far and main character is intriguing, in good way, and every chapterrr had 1000 words or more that's one of things i like, and your way describing could use little work, not that its bad there still room for improvement
would love see more and hope u continue writing even after contest