Understand I am reading this as an English speaker so I am a bit critical. So reading the first chapter you immediately get the sense of several things:
1- the grammar is bad for English making it feel like the 1st language of the author isn't English or it was translated just enough to make it sound okay. There are several words fused together on multiple occasions, words missing that make a correct English statement, and even some words that don't fit well within the sentences themselves (which can be seen as a personal preference thing or an actual problem depending on the sentence).
2- the way it is written leads me to believe this may be one of the author's first works published for others to read. The story has a lot of extra details that didn't feel needed or in a way repetitive without saying the exact same thing in different wording. The way the story moves in pace is also a giveaway as well. It's awkwardly fast and slow at the same time which doesn't make sense unless you read works from authors which have English as a second language. What I'm saying is to be more concise. The amount of information you wanted to go through with setting up not only relationships but also scenes created a jarring read. You're doing great. Create with a goal in mind (how do you want the story to end, what are major events that need to happen, what are minor events that can help achieve, or speed/slow special moments) and dialog should be something you can see someone actually saying.
3- There are confusing moments within the story which are a personal choice of the author to make the story original. This is both a pro and a con. Pro- the author is trying to release creative and original content. Con- the scenes selected and dialog create a sense of confusion. example: synopsis is about girl having to hide identity because of father's choice. The first few paragraphs/pages seem to focus too heavily on it being just on what she's wearing and less on the why this is absolutely needed/what drives the father to force the daughter to dress like this. The synopsis was quite quick to just lay it out that it was necessary, but the story went from proving it with a necklace, to proving it with a backstory with the dad physically flipping out about it to him verbally flipping out- and that's where I stopped reading. It felt like the point was trying to be driven in so many ways that it actually became uninteresting to me. The synopsis itself makes me want to read it but I don't want to read through a book that beats a point to death. Remember author, concise and with tact. Eye catching but not eye gouching with the same plot points. Season your story and and details. Keep at it! I will keep this in my list to read, but I will take a bit to circle back to it so as to give you time for improvement. I promise to read further the next time and I do believe you have great potential!
CHARz1e_Char