I think this story had a lot of potential, but unfortunately the narrative is too rushed. Sometimes concepts were introduced without an explanation, like saying 'this is like this, because it is'. Although I think that if the author continue to practice, they will write something better very soon. Good luck!
The plot is nice and i like the story.
Eventhough the scene was a little bit to jumpy and ended so fast, but the story was well written with no loose end.
Definitely can improve more, looking forward for your other story 😆🙏🏻