Reviews of :) deleted by Mamelunka - Webnovel

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20Reviews

4.77

  • Writing Quality
  • Stability of Updates
  • Story Development
  • Character Design
  • World Background

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NakedApron
Your novel blew my mind. Although I haven't read a lot, I am learning so much about writing from WoK. I try a lot to create every day dialogue that is interesting to read, but I could never achieve it consistently. But reading yours, I can see a smooth exposition of character's personalities and World building in the descriptions and dialogue. All while being interesting to read. Your novel is inspiring to read and it definitely deserves more exposition. It is criminally underrated. But the problem of proper wording still exists. Noticing a sentence that just doesn't flow correctly while reading is like driving on a bumpy road. You can never enjoy the drive fully, since random bumps keep appearing and distracting you. Perhaps you could ask someone more proficient in english to proofread your work, since they would be able to tell you which parts need some more work. But aside from that, keep up the good work. I'll probably write another review later after i finish the story.
3yr
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NoahSky
I put this gem of a story in my library for safe keeping 😇 I dont have much time to read right now but what I have read so far this story is highly intriguing! I'm really excited to see where your story takes its readers!
3yr
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Kera_Wood
Hey there! Good day for writing! If you wanted to see whether you can get paid by distributing the current work or getting financial support by writing new work, you might want to contact keraringdom@gmail.com. A brief introduction, some sample chapters or links will be appreciated when reaching out.
3yr
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Natural_Mint
So far, the story is quite enjoyable. The characters are interesting and also like how often you post a new chapter! Keep it up because it's really worth the read!
3yr
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Tangent34
The storyline is quite unique and it immediately piqued my mind. It keeps one engaged throughout the story line. I hope you get success with your novel. The story development is also quite good and at pace. Keep your hard work going on! Good luck!
3yr
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minho_Shiny
Wow author... Thats a good and unique introduction. I wouldn't have known if you didn't mention English isn't your first language. I was so engrossed in your story and I liked your writing style too.And lastly,not to mention, I liked kalena's character very much.
3yr
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AnnaMark
Great work author... I love the way you plot the characters ❤️❤️❤️... I am waiting for more chapters... Hope your novel get millions views and massive votes ❤️❤️❤️
3yr
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_Tesla
I like the fact you translated yourself, that's bold. I like this story and the concept behind it, it was chaotic but with a sense of serenity, and I sincerely enjoyed it. these days I don't have so much time to enjoy books, but this was pleasurable.
3yr
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MatchaMilk
First off, if author didnt write that english isnt her first language, I wouldve never guessed! It's quite good, disregarding some minor mistakes! The writing style is simple and easy to follow which is great! The story is intriguing and great if you overlook the intial confusion you get in the first chapter. Its interesting and the dialogue feels natural but at first it felt like the reader is thrown into the story without any information. I wished we could get to know more about the world, where we are and how it differs from ours. You do get more info about it in later chapters but its shame that the world building isnt done fron the beginning. However, its not a necessarily bad thing and depends on sm's preference. If they like to uncover things through the protagonist eyes and slowly learn about the world then this is a story for them. The pace is quite slow but the characters make it up for them. Kalena is a great protagonist with depth and we can see her development. All in all a good novel that I recommend to anyone, give it a try and you wont regret it!
3yr
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DemiGodMaari
I find this book very underrated and it hurts me. It is a nice-paced book about some grounded historic themes and characters that very well represent various societal points of the times it is set in. I don't have a lot to say but it is a book that captures the heart and soul of what it's trying to do (albeit shaking a bit in some areas) and provides you a very entertaining read. Recommended to anyone who wants to read a story in this genre!
3yr
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DontLookSensei_
That's a good introduction. The translation is also great. The author has a good English.😍Really enjoying the characters and background. By the way, I like the unique name of the characters😊. I hope the author keeps writing the book. WOK the best. 👍I'll follow this for sure.
3yr
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firiewww
From the first chapters to chapter 21, I got really engaged with the story, the writing is good, which give me a good flow of images in my mind as I read, so I was able to get deep with the story which is developing well, together with the characters, I like the theme so much tbh.
3yr
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BaeVida
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BaeVida

Nice, just staring this boo. Like the story line, would be sure to add to my library so I can read more chapters later. Good job author, looking forward to more updates .
4yr
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RenuKakkar
I am finding this book quite interesting. At present I am on chapter 6 and intend to read more so, I am saving it to my library to read later. Maybe I will give another review later too. The writing quality is good, some typos here and there which can be ignored. We all make them.The author says he has written this book in a different language first and is translating it in English. He has done a good job. The story is developing nicely. Stability of updates is there too as already there are 19 chapters. Character design is also good. Kalena, the slave, is an interesting character around whom the story seems to revolves. She has been bought by Galaspiael, the prince,who treats her as an equal. She refuses to call him by his first name. The world background is well described along with the languages and organizations. I believe the author has done a great job and wish him all the best. Keep up the good work, author!
4yr
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CouchSurfingDragon
I like what you have so far, Author! Concerning your English: Your tense and conjugation are perfect. I saw a few missing "indefinite articles", ie. you are ***** vs you are 'an' *****. A few sentences have slightly non-native speaker awkwardness, ie. Maybe you want to go for a walk vs Would you like to go for a walk? I found one missing preposition, ie. do you want vs Do you want 'to' [go to the town?] And I saw a missing "does" in a question, ie. Anyone lives here vs. Does anyone live here? It's a strange addition-word to some questions that I honestly cannot explain, but can place in a sentence because I'm a native speaker. Concerning your writing: Starting from your first chapter, you convey strong actions that evoke a powerful sense of an audience reaction. Fear is huge, with the excellent contrast of a calm older woman. There is an unfair beating, evoking a sense of anger. Well done. I love your usage of complex descriptions. The man's skin isn't pale. It's alabaster, implying that he doesn't work outside. The coat isn't expensive. It's worth at least 10 slaves, plus more if he's smart. Concerning your pacing: I'm not quite sure if it's your writing style or if your words translate so beautifully, but your pacing is slow. This is fine. When there is anger, the anger is perfectly depicted, it is slow, it is powerful. When there is sweetness, as in between the FL and the ML, there is a wonderful beauty as the woman is getting flustered over ink on paper. There is a gentleness in how the man looks to her and pleads with her not to call him by his title. On top of that, your action contrast is fantastic. Even in chapter 1, the opening is very harsh, very oppressive, with the latter half of it sweet and hopeful. And this happens further, going from the MC to the spellcasting murderer in the other chapter. Concerning your content: Your verbiage is excellent. The way you describe scenes is excellent. What you are trying to write about, I see what you're trying to communicate. Thus far, it's very simple, almost plain. But as I mentioned earlier, there is beauty in simple scenes. The conflict and drama come in other ways-- with running away from thugs, with the murderous spellcaster. You may write more complex scenes, or you may continue how you are. However, I cannot give you a "true" criticism on the plot, since 4 chapters is not nearly enough to judge. All in all, Author, you are an excellent writer. Do not let your worry of being a non-native English speaker hamper your writing. You are far, far better at English than many of my other new-author peers, in verbiage, in sentence structure, in tense, and conjugation-- with the only flaws related to colloquialisms and rare, nonsensical English sentence structuring rules. (Also, -1 point for irregular updates. Haha!)
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4yr
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Sigheti
An engaging an overall charming story that I truly enjoyed. While there are only six chapters out, the author succeeds in catching our attention with a wonderful storyline and characters that continue to be appealing and winsome. The only criticism I might have is the rhythm. I wish to clearly state that I do not succeed in this myself, but it remains such an important part of writing, and I seldom find anyone who succeeds in writing with good rhythm that I shall keep pointing it out to everyone who will hear of it. I believe the author did an absolute splendid job and look forward to seeing more of you in the future.
4yr
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Chitawulf
Kalena is such an interesting protagonist. I love the indirect and very subtle characterization she has, from sometimes not being able to understand the big words Galaspiael uses to being so hesitant about being alone and abandoned, to always refusing to call Galaspiael by his first name. Speaking of the prince, he's also such a well-developed character. In the first few chapters I already get a sense of how both of them operate, what their motivations and fears are, etc. The world is so incredibly detailed to, with all the languages and organizations. The temple scene blew my mind away with how thought out the system was. For a non-native speaker the translation is also great, save for a few grammatical errors. The strongest points by far for this novel is the world and the characters. My only real critique is that for the first few chapters it's mostly exposition (however masterful) and not a lot of action. While the world is intriguing enough for me to keep reading, it's still kind of hard with scenes like Kalena eating breakfast and going to the market. Another thing is that there's tons of dialogue and verbs, but not a lot of description. What does Kalena look like? How does the collar feel in her hand? What about the temple? How does the market smell and sound? Sensory descriptors like that are awesome and really breathe life into the world. Overall, a great read!
4yr
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Jessie_D_Davis
Let me start off saying, wow, I am hooked. The beginning was a shock and very unique. Good job, and thank you for your hard work, I look forward to continuing the read.
4yr
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Aki_Panaka
I'm sorry to destroy a five star rating this story is great, but I love being mean to people I'm close to lol. *Ask the author, she's used to it, I'm motivating her this way* Sooo.... I've read the polish version long time ago. This is SUPER DUPER ULTRA SLOW BURN. This book will have about 60 chapters and Spoiler starts here Kalena and Galaspiael's relationship starts AT THE END OF THE EPILOGUE. In the LAST SENTENCE of the part one we get the "I love you" from both of them. Relationship blooms in book two which isn't finished yet and not ready for translations. SPOILER ENDS HERE What do I like WoK for? Character development. Part one is focusing mainly on the heroes. But it's worth to wait because we get really well crafted heroes. My most hated thing in part one is world creation. I know this is a debut and all but seriously get yourself together girl. It's like you having a Mona Lisa like characters painted on a blank wall without a background. Luckily in the part two the focus is mainly on the world and action is really fast.
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4yr
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Zyanide100
This has proven to be really engaging story for me. There are only three chapters up so far (which are of a considerable length) but I'm already quite engaged in it. Rarely does any book leave such an impression on me just off their first few chapters. The world author has tried to craft is seemingly my favorite part. I am just really curious to see how things will play out. As the author has written this book in a different language first and is translating it in English, there are mistakes here and there, nothing too big though. Just keep improving as you go, I'm confident this book can become something truly great. Keep up the good work, author!
4yr
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