Reviews of New Hope Academy by 816D35 - Webnovel

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10Reviews

4.22

  • Writing Quality
  • Stability of Updates
  • Story Development
  • Character Design
  • World Background

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gee_ringdomstories
Hey there! Good day for writing! If you wanted to check whether you can get paid by distributing the current work or getting financial support by writing new work, you might want to contact geekyteddyyo@gmail.com. A brief introduction, some sample chapters or links will be appreciated when reaching out.
3yr
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yokoyokoweldzizou
*****Great Idea! ****** ***The start is slow.***** The story should begin in chapter 4. the 4 chapters before that, you can put them in a prelude. good luck
4yr
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MeriemR
LV 11 Badge

MeriemR

The idea is great, I like that you are giving it your own twist. However, the grammar and style are lacking, This, I am sure you can improve by re-reading and editing. One of the main things is switching between present and past in your narration. Another thing that I struggled with is empathizing with the MC. I think you should delve deeper into his emotions and feelings so that the reader can relate more. Other than that, great effort. Good luck with the contest!!
4yr
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Perizou
This is a refreshing take on a cultivation novel. The mix of magic and qi is not forced and it's naturally placed together. When the reason why they exist and how they work shows up you can't help but go "Yeah, of course" The writing is clean and descriptive letting you fully immerse yourself in the story. although a few developments feel to be just for the plot is nothing that should be impossible or too far out in the context of the story. This is a great read and I'm excited to see it develop.
4yr
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Sdrawkcab
I believe the author is doing a great job in building the reader's understanding of the world. It is not a nice place where everyone accomplishes their goals in life. So far the MC has had no luck in anything, other than talking his way out of being killed. I think if the author wishes to continue, there needs to be more description of the world and the side characters. What the MC is thinking would help for the readers to feel for him. I understand not wanting to give everything away for plot development, but his emotions and feelings create empathy for him. He is a child, so a little more of his actions showing that would help. When he gets hit, does he fall to the floor and start to sob? Pulling his legs in to make himself as small of a target as possible? Does it hurt enough to make him scream and cry? Put yourself into his position and try to imagine what you would do in order to build a sympathy with him. If you get good enough at describing how he feels, your readers will feel those same emotions as they read. Good Luck!
4yr
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Sigheti
While I believe the story to have potential, I believe the execution could be improved. Until now, I have yet to sympathise with the characters as they appear rather bland and, due to this, I fail to engage with the story. But, as I mentioned, they do have the potential to become great characters. While poor grammar may now and then disrupt the flow of the story, I am aware that this is a fault that can only be improved by practice (I am certainly no stranger to this myself).
4yr
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Kamatis
Well, I didn't really noticed any wrong grammars, so the Writing quality is great! i actually remembered Akame Ga Kill on your story development. When I first saw your title, I thought It's similar to The Irregular At Magic High School and ither academy magic novels where the MC is OP as hell. Well, he's an underdog here. Well, all in all, your story is a good dark-fantasy. Just an advice, if you're going for the dark-fantasy genre, be sure to clearly emphasize the cold reality of life. Because that's the redeeming feature of a dark-fantasy.
4yr
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ResidentialPsycho
I love the concept, and it could make for a funny story. At this point, it's hard to see what direction the writer wants to take. There is no comedy or action so far. There is some drama. Other violent events were mentioned, they are completely off-screen, so no one should have a problem with them. If you are the faint of heart, don't worry--there's nothing graphic so far. It looks like it's going into magic and cultivation, but very little of either thing has been mentioned. It looks like it's supposed to give a dark feeling, but it doesn't do that or make me want to cheer for the protagonist at all. The traumatic events are brushed over pretty quickly. Background information? What's that? A little information has been revealed about the MC's parents, but it's provided in a manner of telling rather than showing. The details of past events are very vague, making them difficult to picture. World background? Not revealed yet. There is no character depth at all so far. The character details are essentially limited to male, female, mother, father, and mean person. I don't think there's been any imagery at all thus far except for describing the MC's appearance. A greater use of imagery could evoke a more emotional response in readers. Although the MC is an eight-year-old who is 4'11," the height of a small *****, no explanation is given for this. Although there are only six chapters so far, there are logical inconsistencies present already, especially in regards to character actions and the absent world setting. The writer uses "sh!t" a lot as a substitution for other words, making it feel very overused. I'm not sure if there's been a chapter thus far without this curse word. The writing quality could use some review. The events in the story could be expanded upon with more detail and elaboration to pull readers into the story. Everything happens so fast, it leaves me wondering what the point of anything was. Nearly every sentence has at least one obvious grammatical error or typo. Tenses flicker between past and present tense. There are also examples of passive tense, even in sentences important to the plot line. These types of errors are common to new writers. That said, the story is readable. Overall, I'd say the concept is interesting, but the follow-through needs some work.
4yr
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f1n
LV 11 Badge

f1n

Not for the light-hearted. At the moment the story is pitch black, no hope. Yet that is all that a good underdog story needs. The first chapter is a little over the top. But a few more chapters in you can't wait to see everyone around him be killed so that the MC can claim his revenge. So far the story is 5/5 No grammar errors, nor is it hard to read at all.
4yr
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816D35
Wars, magic competition, deaths, skimming, exciting fights, wizards, divination, witchcraft, potion concoction, character development... Thank you for liking my story.Let's get the first rank. Please help, use power stone to vote.
4yr
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