Reviews of Mine is the Kingdom by coffeemugssshot - Webnovel

I like the story so far. I think the flow of the writing is pretty good so far. My only suggestion would be a quick proofread aloud through to catch some missing words/ grammer. Other than that good job!

I liked this novel. It can be seen that the text block is well designed. Apparently corresponded more than once or twice. The story is interesting. This is rebirth. The story is dramatic, showing the true nature of man. There are conspiracies and intrigues. The hard way home to another world. I hope the author has the strength and endurance to bring his novel to its logical end. I liked the novel, with its dynamism of the development of history, high-quality dialogs, fascinating reading and intrigue in each new chapter. So far I have read 6 chapters. The rest will be read slowly. Thanks to the author!

The beginning has great emotion, large impact, which is excellent. But the style of writing takes away from it. The first chapters flip between present tense and past tense narration that it's dizzying. The narrative POV is all over the place, sometimes I can't tell if it's Noraya or Macrena who is thinking. Please stick to one POV character per scene. The grammar's a bit iffy here and there, but understandable enough. Nothing a good editor can't help with. The premise is interesting: a god-queen from a fantastical society is made to deal with modern day Earth. Though with psychics. Putting a queen in modern day peaceful Canada is going to be explosive, I hope. Is this going to go like Jadis of Charn terrorizing the shops of London? A thought though... they say Canadians are polite. The character of Noraya comes across to me as irritatingly rude. I like the idea of her character, a psychic who meets a god-queen and they have adventures and misunderstandings all over the city -- it's great, haha! But the execution is...yeah, I don't like her. Not to mention, would a god-queen of the furious and majestic character that the first few chapters already showed us really let a psychic mortal, even if it is someone she needs for her goals, drag her around like such without protest? There are limits to even noblesse oblige. I do in fact want to see someone drag the great and powerful Macrena about the city willy nilly. Just a little more exciting and more comedic. There are some great landmarks in Toronto, Macrena praising or disdaining a couple could be funny. Just an idea. Or her wanting to see something but is restrained by her tour guide Noraya's need to earn money or go do mundane stuff that has to be done and cannot be put off, like pay bills. This reviewer would like to see some comparison between the notions of propriety in the two societies. I mean, it's Canada. Also, more comparison and contrast between Akijam and Toronto (and Earth in general) would be excellent. What does Macrena think of what she sees and hears that is common in modern society but uncommon where she comes from? The author used an actual language for the incantations? Dedication, I love it. In conclusion, the ideas are excellent, but the writing style and grammar needs some work. Your creativity is impressive, dear author! Don't let learning about scenes and POV and the boring stuff stop you from writing. Keep on writing, keep on reading! Every page written and every page read is a step on the journey to a better writer.

I'm a sucker for a good retribution/revenge or justice story, so I'm happy this book is doing that. The premise and world are exciting and intriguing. There are grammar mistakes, especially switching between present and passive tense. Itdve been great to establish the world in the first chapter bc its confusing as to creatures, what creatures? Human portal? So the land of akijam isnt on earth? Then is macrena not human? There are a few things that will be revealed throughout the story but itd be better to establish the world from the get go as to not to confuse the readers. Maybe start after shes being dethroned w a short paragraph of lore, think like lord of the rings or sth like that. I'd also probably avoid perspective change within a chapter but thats up to you though I am also a bit confused by the change of following Noraya suddenly instead of macrena. Are you having duel protagonists or just macrena? If its the latter, it'd be better to focus on following only the protagonists story and pov. However, i do appreciate the pov of what happens in the kingdom It started off good but I feel like it kinda lost itself on the way and we're straying a bit further from macrenas goal to return and for the story to properly gain momentum. Nevertheless, this is a interesting story and I wonder how the plot is going to unfold! Keep up the work!

Only from the first three chapters and I could already see why this story is very great and unique. Nothing amazes me in novels more than a protagonist trying to prove his or her innocence after being falsely accused of a crime or so. This type of plot depends not on the protagonist's strength but on her smartness and skills of thinking The grammar and word choice used is simple and direct, but I should mention that when two characters, let's say two women, are present in the same scene, referring to each of them by just "the woman" can bring sometimes make the reader confused. Excluding this, the description of the settings is clear and excellent. I'm still halfway through the novel and I'm sure it would never get any less interesting in the later chapters.

After reading your reviews and comments. I spent the second week of my 'stay home' days to edit and get back to those mistakes that were pointed out. I hope that I was able to address those mistakes. Please continue to support and read my novel. At the end of the day, it is the enjoyment of the readers is what matters most ;-)

I really like how much perspective the story has. Seeing different characters giving different reactions to the same thing shows the diversity in the story and the same characters giving same reactions solidifies one point. Authors usually fail in doing one of the two things by focusing too much on just one of them but you seem to have found the perfect balance. This is one of the types of novel I genuinely like reading and so it was a delight to have done this swap. I see that many have already told you about the problem with tenses, especially Azzak. I think he has highlighted the problem better than I can do so that's that. The recent chapters where a bit more was revealed about the how of the starting incident were great and well-placed. All in all, definitely a good book. Keep writing, author!

The plotline was quite refreshing for me to read, and I liked the female lead. There were few grammatical errors, but they did not make the reading difficult. Nonetheless, it appears to be quite a promising story. All the best with it!

Story wise, it’s very interesting. I can’t comment much on the story development as there aren’t too many chapters. But the world building thus far has been really promising. Though I do wish we had more details on the accusations in the beginning. Like how exactly was she found guilty? If she is as kindhearted as you make her out to be, how was she immediately judged as guilty without us knowing the evidence. Would have liked to know more about the time she was the ruler so that us readers can see the difference after she’s banished. Now onto the writing quality. I believe you have mentioned that you aren’t a native english speaker. So I can’t judge too harshly. I will try to help you in understanding your mistakes though. Others have probably mentioned that you make a lot of mistakes in tenses, as in past and present tense. This is actually your biggest flaw. If you write a story in past tense, it has to be in constant past tense until the end. Same goes for present tense. After reading for a fair amount of your novel, i realized the confusion. When it comes to actions or verbs, you manage to write in perfect past tense. However, once you input any facts or details, it immediately changes to present tense. I think this is your biggest weakness. This is an paragraph example from the first chapter. ‘ 1. The elder looked at her with sadness and pity in his eyes. 2. She is dressed in a simple house dress and her face void of any color. 3. Her hair is freely draped at her back, swaying as she moves. 4. She is not the queen Macrena the elder knew. ‘ Sentence 1 is perfect. No mistakes. If you’ve noticed, all the verbs are in past tense. Yet somehow, besides sentence 1, they are all partnered with the usage of ‘is’. Here we can see that past and present tense are incorrectly mixed. Thus you make a mistake each time you make a statement sentence that may or may not involve a verb. Without changing anything else, this how it should properly be written. ‘ 1. The elder looked at her with sadness and pity in his eyes. 2. She was dressed in a simple house dress and her face void of any color. 3. Her hair was freely draped at her back, swaying as she moved. 4. She was not the queen Macrena the elder knew. Next thing you should take note of is your usage of vocabulary. You tend to be repetitive and use the same word too many times. Sometimes even within the same sentence. Using a thesaurus can be very handy when writing. I highly recommend thesaurus . com. Sentence 2 above can be an example of you using the word ‘dress’ more than necessary. You could change either to make it seem more natural. Another example, taken from chapter 1, is as follows. ‘She walked to the side of the hall and walked out from one of the doors.’ You repeated the usage of ‘walked’ in the same sentence. It’s completely unnecessary and can be cut out altogether like so; ‘She walked to the side of the hall and out from one of the doors.’ Sorry for the long review! You have a great novel and improving your writing is the best thing you need 😊 I hope I could be of help

Firstly, I congratulate you 👍, because I am not a fan of the genre and I am particularly fussy about details when I read a novel that comes out of my comfort zone, in addition I usually read novels with male characters since it's easier for me to put myself in their shoes, clearly I'm not your audience. BUT! Having read the first 11 chapters of your novel, it’s impossible for me to say that it’s not good, the character development is very well worked, everything is well detailed, whether it is the description of the actions or the scenery and the fact that the layout of your text is also neat (it matters) makes me forget a lot of spelling mistakes, your novel is very well written and that's why I have almost finished what you already wrote, at the level of the story I can’t make a relevant review, the problem is not coming from the fact that I don’t like the story but of the fact that I am clearly not your public. I still advise you to correct your spelling mistakes but otherwise the only thing that we can blame you for is the frequency to which you publish your chapters, they are rather long, you could shorten them if you think you can afford it, it will allow you to publish at more regular intervals. One last tip and this time it would be to attract more readers like me, try not to say too much about your plot in your syno**is, I know it's complicated to balance the fact of making people want to read your novel and not to spoil them too much, I myself am not very good at doing that, but if your new readers know too much from the start you will not be able to surprise them in the first chapters and there will be chances that they will drop your novel very quickly. Good luck for the future!

This is not normally a type of novel I read frequently, but honestly it got me hooked up that I found myself stopping chapter 12 for a break, the developments are good, some can be confusing but its a minor issue. I think its a good read, especially for the audience it is geared for. And yeah, some grammatical errors, better be fixed on the earlier chapters, so the unfolding of the events doesn't get ruined by a single confusing word. Overall a good read!

The story was well written and I would keep the reader interested as to what would happen after the first chapter, but there are some areas of improvement that can be made in terms of grammar such as the use of tenses. Besides that, it's a great read overall and I'll encourage everyone to give it a read.

I have just read 5 chapters.The story is developing well. The plot seems interesting and I am curious about what will happen next. I am saving your book to my library to read later. There are some grammatical errors, but that happens with all of us. Writing quality is good, stability of updates is also good. Character design is good and so is the world background. Great work, author! All the best ! Keep it up! .

Hello readers, I hope you find the story to your liking. I would appreciate your comments and recommendation in this story. If you can vote, please do, I am most thankful. Happy reading ;-)