It may be a bit embarrasing to say but it hasn't been that long since I've discovered fanfics but it's not a short time either and I can't honestly say that this is one of the best fan-fics I've read so far.
I was utterly disappointed when I read chapter 66-70 about betrayal thingy.
Poorly executed, and if you think that disobedience = betrayal.
Might as well you should have a doll instead of nakama. Coz after this shit, I deduce that author didn't knew how this society work in this real life or "jungle world" where the mc in.
If you think that they would remain loyal after those harsh punishments (to slash a hand, feet, and moreover a woman's face). You may be wrong. And for reason some of "gender equality" excuse to punch his women's face (nakama) is just bullshit and nonsense for me.
Then what about a joke when all his woman's crew beating him when he was joking. isn't that betrayal???
So when those plot of three of women (robin, mikita, and zala) want to recruit perona is considered betrayal for him. it was so laughable for me for this inconsistence, unstable mind of MC.
Yeah you could write as you like and but I had my right to write a very bad review for you.
Please learn about "nakama" meaning to improve your story.
Here I'm am giving a review. I first thought that I reviewed your novel, but looking around I didn't. Sorry, Sage.
I'll first come and say to future people who would stumble upon my review, this novel is worth reading. The story follows a well-established plot, not abating from that. The MC even if Sage likes to say he's not truly overpowered. But who cares, everyone likes an overpowered character as long is bound to the logic of the story.
As you go and read forward you'll see his writing improvements, him trying to develop his characters, as much that he can. But at least he did it. He didn't do an asspull like 70% of fanfics about One Piece are doing around. For example, reincarnate in canon time, after that you have 2 paths, you steal all straw hats except for Luffy, or be part of the straw hats. I mean come on where's the fan in the fanfic if you just follow canon blindly.
Well, in conclusion, give this novel a try, you already have a lot of chapters to get addicted to.
Ahem, I'll also be a shameless thief and try to steal some readers from here, don't mind me, Sage.
I'm a new writer around here that also does a One Piece fanfic, that follows the journey of Vlad the Impaler (Dracula) in the One Piece world. Go give it a try guys, the novel also has chicks going around(that's for the simps).
even though I'm only at the beginning of the fan-fic, I think that this is the best fan-fic/novel that I've read up until now on webnovel so I'm hyped to see how the story goes on.
in the end this was just for the rating.
One of the best One Piece fan-fictions out there.
Good background and each character is very much part of the story instead of just being there
Very mush love to author and hope to see the story completed [img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend]
so I just read the new chap and finally decided to drop now.
the bad point of this story:
first ever since the mc started his crew he somehow able to make ace join him (not to big of a deal btw)
second many character acted more like an oc such as van augur (but this is not a big deal too as maybe the author just can't get the act right)
third he recruited some useless girls from alabasta (among the three only robin was kinda useful because she can read poneglyph the other two was just a leech)
fourth the powerlevel was shitty utterly shitty (he can win again dory and broggy, win again enel, and that leopard guy, can fight against sea king underwater, but lose again a vice admiral?)
fifth he have haki but mostly useless (to the point I thought that is haki really that useless)
sixth in the newst chapter the three girl want the mc to accept perona or they will the crew, when the mc don't care and started leaving. the three girl actually attacked him, and mc only punched their face once and that was just to knock them out. as for perona the mc already started to walk away and leave her, but somehow perona started to have a suicidal though and said her miserable life out loud, and the mc somehow feel guilt and what not decided to accept her and that where I drop this.
the good point of this story is:
first the flow and take was mostly different from other fic.
I don't usually do review but since Robin asked me, I will
The characters and their interactions are very well done from what I can see and not giving him any df power is something nice I think, many tend to think that df > not df, but did you see garp? he was going to kill an admiral at marineford if he wasn't stopped by the sengoku
The pairings haven't been confirmed yet but I see him well with Robin
If you want to add some things to your story you can make him use martial art such as Muay Thai or things like that since it feels like all op fanfic follow the marine power without trying to create or do anything on their own, I mean you can kick the air so imagine combining knowledge of earth martial arts with physics of OP?
Author you should not have recruited anyone besides Robin in Alabasta as even robin is currently a potential backstabber as she done with many others. The other women are just leeches sticking to whoever is in power just how can he recruit 100% backstabbers. Another thing is you can say he will train them but are they worth it and moreover if they were really hardworking they wouldn't have been no names. Furthermore the women you chose are leeches they are there with whoever is strong to get off of them. Why would they even work hard that's not why they joined and they wont have the will to become strong then how will they train . To train like mc says you need talent along with the will they are just leeches they don't have the motivation why is the mc wasting his time and recruiting potential backstabbers like they betrayed croccy.
Overall an enjoyable read but i dont like the MC and the flow of the story at the moment.
So sum up:
+interaction between characters
-powerlevel not clear
-Mc refuses to use dragon fruits :-|
-Mc feels like Zorro copy
-Mc has it to easy for now
-Mc has nothing unique about himself
-story very near to canon story but instead of Luffy it is our Mc
No hardships which were to overcome
(i know only 61chapter out atm but still)
Smooth sailing with our Mc collecting Crew members like ash catches pokemon.
So far the story goes from sailing to island, collect a crewmember, sailing to next island and rinse and repeat.
Between we get a "fight" between our mc and pikachu Enel or someone else.
This is nagging on high niveau because the start and the interaction between our mc and sabo or ace, or in general is written pretty well.
And now to my biggest problem with the story.
Which is the MC himself, he feels like a Made in China version of Zorro and i get no real feeling where his powerlevel is in comparison to the Marine admiral or other known characters.
Also he refuses to use/eat dragon fruits, which is for me like not using magic in harry potter or not using ninjutsus in naruto.
Another problem would be that i feel like his crewmates, atleast ace, sabo or Robert? are stronger than him.
Lets see what the future holds and if you read all this i wish you a nice day, a warm cup of tea and a nice reading time.