The flow of the story is really good and the description is very detailed. I'm usually not a fan of modern genres, but the plot of the story pretty much had me hooked to know how Jane will face her dilemma. The main character is also rather interesting in that things don't always seem to go her way. Yet, the obsession in this story seems rather interesting to me. To be honest, I don't know what I need to criticize about this since the story plot and flow is really good. I can't wait to see more of this!
Good start. Quite heart-wrenching when Jaden... Anyways. I like seeing the friendships between your MC and her friends. A couple of notes, though:
-Careful of punctuation, especially at the end of dialogue, though I noticed that you have gotten better at it as the story went on.
-Choose a tense between present and past, otherwise it is a little jolting to read.
-Careful also of using Korean characters. I believe that they have gotten your novel blacklisted. If you want your novel to be whitelisted again so people can vote and it appears on your profile, shoot the Webnovel team an email.
Overall, it's getting quite good. Keep writing every day, author!
I am in love with your characters especially the twins. I love their relationship. I wish I could have such kind of a relationship with my siblings. I like the flow of the story. It keeps you thinking of what will happen next. So far good š. Please keep updating.
Good day. Here is the author, I'm sorry for the delay I currently just finished signing a contract with web novel and another link was created with the current updates. I want to thank you readers for everything all the reviews from critics to encouragement it made me improve in so many aspect.
Below is the new link where the new chapters are being uploaded. Please keep supporting.
https://***.webnovel.com/book/stay'_18571970306339205
How can you say if someone is staying or not? You can feel it if you love someone so much! Maybe if you are still hurting from a heartbreak, this is a good read!
Interesting to say, the synopsis hooked me first. Promising, I love the bond between the twin and the tragedy broke me. But no, that's not all, it has got more to offer, more to keep you glued to the screen. You're doing great, keep up the good work.
I'm jealous of the relationship between the twins. Wish I at least have a sibling. Anyway, the story is well written, the tragedy broke me also. A very interesting read, too many emotions.
Great job author.
what can I say? the author knows how to keep us reading lols. interesting book with relatable dictions. I had just read 5 chapters and yet, I just wanna review this book to make awareness for everyone who wants a good novel, stay' is your answer.
When I read the synopsis I thought this piece was already at an interesting point. When I read the first chapter, I had already fallen in love with the characters and the author's writing style. However, there are some grammatical issues and I've noticed how some sentences do not start off with a capital letter. I like the characters, I do enjoy their personalities, but I feel as if they could be more fleshed out. Although there are twenty-two chapters as of right now, I'm still not clear with the world background. I believe the pacing of the story is a tad bit bumpy, but I still like the story. Despite those problems, this story is interesting and I would love to see more come from it. I will add this to my library when more chapters are released.
This was honestly a good read overall, I enjoyed everything so far and got to say the Author really knows how to pull us in, the characters are well made and the writing is good (a few mistakes here and there, but like I always say it does not hinder a good story and can be fixed with ease and time)
All in all keep it going Author!
This is one has a lot of potential to be a goody. Nice pacing, easy in the eyes. How can I help you further develop this piece. Hmnn. I kindly suggest that you focus more on 'showing not telling'. E.g. 'He said angrily' - you can change it into 'he slowly moves his gait towards me, I saw deep valleys and mountains building its way on his forehead. Ah, he's angry.' It will help you develop the personalities of your character. Hope this helps. May the author write more, edit more, and learn more!
The author introduces us with a nice 'feast-or-famine' type situation, regarding the relationship between Jane and Niklaus. It's an interesting plot and is complimented well by the world it's built into.
Overall, I had no complaints. The story is well-paced and the characters are lovable. The homey feeling of the story is quite soothing to read, itās kinda like a break from all the seriousness of other authors.
it was so painful to read 6th chapter... I was really moved how the author penned it down.. I hope jane will over come her fears and grief and lead a happy life.
Looking at your sibling who played with you lying down on the ground lifeless is too unbearable.
Keep up the good work author.. I am looking forward to read more chaps
Wow, the description is so deep. I actually had to read it again cuz it was so sophisticated. he book had a good start and I am looking forward to the rest.
hey dear, first of all interesting synopsis... loved the twins interaction and hated james girlfriend mia, she is such a... your story building is good, with nice interpretation, and lastly... Your story needs lot more exposure than this, I think dear,you need to add tags so that many audience will read, your story has humour then add comedy, that placenta joke all , it fits the bill, add tragic past, doting siblings, love, angst, everything u remember, it will get exposure...uy could add up to 10 tags... keep up the good work, [img=update]
Your story is really immersive and interesting. I am chapter 5 where Jane received a call from Jaden. I hope he is okay.
I was just eager to post the review, will continue with the rest of the story. Loving the characters and the plot both. The main reason its good because I find the writing style of this author really easy to understand. Good Work.:)
A few errors here and there but hell, ur book is quite interesting. I will read it on of course. I mean, what i'm tryna say is that, your book's got potential :)
I enjoyed reading your story so far. There are some grammar mistakes that can be easily fixed. One of my problems is that the chapters are a bit too long and the story moves a bit too slow. But I like the way you put the characters across and it was great.
The characters are really lovable but I think there is a need for improvement when it comes to your grammar and syntax but other than that, this novel really shows a lot of potential
I kinda like your story so far and I would really like to know what inspired you to write this. But I can't see how the future plot line progresses. Add lots of hidden plot line if you can. Then your story will become a puzzle that fits perfectly. Good job so far.
Ok I'll be honest with you. I recommend you review your work before uploading it. Make sure your grammar and capitalization are correct. Also when constructing a sentence make sure nit to make it longer. Your reader will be confused if so. Try making it more short or at least contains 15 words at most. Now about the plot, it's really great. Romance is not my thing but I like how you made this story. I hope you continue writing and improve more and more
I liked reading your book. There are many grammatical errors but they can be fixed after going through the book once. The chapters are lengthy and the story progresses really slow. You can work on that. The writing style and plot is good though.
Faura_Phoe