I say that your title and synopsis were really good and quite catchy. I have to say you have a lot of potential in this story, but there was something that puts off by just reading the synopsis.
The negative feedback I had in mind was the spacing of the 'Until,' and the next paragraph. I was also a little bit put off by the introduction of the characters. Maybe you could just minimize it to 7 people or a group of people, I guess.
The sound of the ticking clock could be described formally too.
Those are the things I would like to suggest, but, remember that you have a good style in writing! Keep it up!
I loved it. I am amazed by the previous knowledge and background knowledge you have about the theme you have written about. Definitely something I will never be able to write about. . A gaming novel work with a wonderful explanation always attracts me.
Good Job Author!!
I loved it. Am amazed by the previous lnowledg and background knowledge you have about the theme you have written about. Definitely something I will never be able to write about. I loved the beginning, it gave a mysterious feel someway and i kept going for another chapter. I loved the characters and and I can't wait to read the next chapters. Please do update regularly and keep up the curiosity. You're amazing writer.
Wohooo this is amazing novel. I'm reading it currently. It's amazing. I'll like to recommend to readers to spend their time in reading this amazing novel.
I would like to read it more. Keep updating. My support is with author.
ALL THE BEST.
Thanks Author for this creative story - liking what i read.
1. Good plot - the shoe flying out from the sky indeed created a whole new dimension and where the boys couldn’t kill Ashe even they slit her throat - good twist to plant in readers mind what works and what doesn’t VR vs reality depending which dimension they came from.
2. Adrien and Ashe - looking forward to see how they will evolve post the second meet at the mansion with Ashe given this mission now to eliminate the characters
3. Kai and the other boys (which name reminds me of Ninjago :) - interesting creativity on how they existed from a faulty game development and created chaos in public
4. Darren - looking to see how he will shoulder the responsibility and fix this - enjoy reading how the character was introduce and the glitch
Looking fwd to see how the game would evolve in the story. Leveling up capability or weapon acquisition and collection for them to eliminate the characters and perhaps some of these characters evolve over time - exciting plot. All in all good job in bringing VR and n gamification into the world of writing. Keep up the good work!
Amazing!!! A true demonstration of the state of the art with a great imagination and avant-grade skills. Really appreciate the way the author take this as an interesting journey, making it easy to read. A real master work !!!
I like how the story played out. Honestly, I've only read upto the first 2 chapters, but I've got to say, it's worth a read. 🙂 It isn't too descriptive, yet it creates a good image... I highly recommend this
As an competitor, I must judge other candidates.
This book is good as far as I can tell, I did resd the first chapter, sorry I couldn't read much as I too have books to write.
So, the story has a great interesting, and style is good enough to be read.
Anyway, goodluck with your book..Beat them thoroughly.
I LOVE IT SO MUCH ...the well prepared plot...the character designing .the whole theme ..I am so In love with this book..and not to forget the amazing writing quality.. I hope this author publishes more works of her own...a hard-core fan..waiting for more!!!
A gaming novel work with a wonderful explanation always attracts me. I liked how the protagonist is described. One should really read this work. Keep it up author.....[img=exp][img=exp][img=recommend][img=recommend]
Wow. This book reads like an actual novel, the plot is super interesting well thought out. It definitely has a lot of potential. The author knows how to build scenes and background. And the cover is amazing.
Keep up the nice work! :)
This is the new thing. Such a good story! Only two chapters in but it leaves you on your toes wanting for more! I love the MCs... so beautifully written, Author! Definitely worth the votes and adding to library.
I can’t say too much since it’s a starting novel, but what I will say is: it is a great start.
Definitely action, mystery, and budding romance in just the first 2 chapters!! I am excited to see where it goes!