I like the idea of the character but people are way too easily shocked of his iq even tho what he said wasnt too impressive. You could easily add something unique with fuinjutsu or some other way.
Also his relationships with other characters like itachi doesnt feel strong since its just mentioned that they trained together for sometime. You could have added some things to the previous chapters like few meaningful moments of like acts of kindness or them just enjoiyng each others company so itachi and mcs relationship would seem More meaningful. Same with Shisui and other characters as well.
This might be just a personal thing but instead of lashing out on those around him he would be cold or just doesnt seem to care and gets caught up in his own mind More often. Similar to itachi in cannon but that is a character personality trait which I simply find More appealing. This tho is only my opinion.
I really like the idea with mc being uchiha prodigy with Shisui and itachi but no need To Rush the plot and just More details.
I think it's great most of the time u find system or resurrection novels but this is different this is great u have a character that is from the world itself not from a different world or with a system and reincarnated this is an good novel
Lucifer, a demon, returns from hell to reside in Los Angeles and runs a club. He soon gets involved with the local police and assists them in solving tricky criminal cases.
Your writing style is very good, but that is all. You do not know how you will develop the course of the story from the beginning. I could not bear reading a story with all these wasted potentials, especially when his partner died on his first mission, He almost does not know him, so there is no reason for him to grieve him and wake up the shringan and also his coach He talks about His talent, which there is no evidence about her, and as soon as he possesses three elements, his Teacher decides he will be stronger than Minato, but all this is a result of your lack of knowledge of the world of Naruto, the third Hokage Sarutobi has all five elements
Story is Ok, a good read.
Although i have a few issues with it.
-one, there is no way a rookie gennin gets a c rank mission for his first one no matter how much of genius he is. you didnt have to describe the D rank mission just mention it after a one mounth time skip or something.
- two, lying about the agressor seems to be a big issue, he should at least tell his father.
-three, why would obito do a puny assassination on a random merchant, i mean you dont use a bazooka to kill an ant, and why would he keep the shinobi team alive taking the risk of them identifying him, even there is a reason it should be mentioned.
-four, we should at least have a hint on who killed his parents and why, i know it might be something that will be discussed later, but just saying they were killed and not mentioning them since leaves a sour taste to me.
Really interesting story,as of the moment. Good character development and story building. The story can transpire well what is felt by Izuna in multiple circumstances. Rating as 5 to give recognition, however I normally would wait for more chapters to give a precise review.
It is a rally interesting book, and I like it,
I am only reviewing this to help the book get recognition on where it says the book's overall rating is to the public, because as of now, it says not enough reviews or something like that.
One of the best stories about the naruto-world. Its really good and the plot doesn't feel forced, a likable mc its a pity that there are only 8 chapters hope the author doesn't; abandon the story or make it harem because its the doom of most fanfictions :)
Don't mind me, just shamelessly 5 star reviewing my own fanfic.
Expect good grammar with this, and hopefully good character development and story telling aswell, even if this is my first novel!
Jubex