So this first arc will be the memories leading to that event, because if the whole story is leading to him crushing that tear thats ok also kinda makes for a good roundabout story. but I hope it wraps up in the first 20 to 40 chapters if it doesn’t it will lose the point of being a introduction In my opinion if it looks to far into the future.
Anyway sorry about the top part now on to my thoughts well the chapter would be rate around 4/5 minor stuff like the bang for the air slash being mentioned afterwards as a afterthought by the MC while it delivered the fact that he was used to It but implementing it in the enviroment is important, also same with the tear now I can understand not blatantly explaining he had a trump but while he was hiding or running in he could’ve the thought “if I’m found I’m bringing them with me” or if I’m incapable of getting away bla bla bla” you All get what I mean 😪 wait a moment is this making you never mind , still only minor stuff from my opinon chapter is decent over all solid 4.?/5
Why do a flash back immediately after jumping to the good part.
I like your Writing so far. Though i feel like a girl was unzipping my pants after getting on her knee…. then started telling me her life story, kinda sucks
Damein_Jaschke_1980