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4.42
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I like the story but author keeps forgetting to put โand, bla bla bla.โ When talking about multiple things. And for the love of god stop with the superfluous, over the top, and unnecessary amount of unneeded adjectives and supporting words and descriptions
I'm liking this story so far, but I have to say to the author.. You don't need to try and stuff as many adjectives as you can into a sentence. At first I thought you were just writing it as the MC's personality, which was pretty fun. Then EVERY character started to do it. "Hello my beautiful, frustrated, and impatient friend." Sentences like that. Three adjectives every time. It's weird when someone like Natsu does it, especially. Completely out of character for him. You don't need to stuff a sentence full of adjectives to make it an interesting dialogue. Anyway, besides that, it's fairly enjoyable, though how strong the MC currently is is kind of confusing.
Muito bom, recomendo, ainda mais a forma em que o autor escreveu, expressando sua forma de ver, transformando em algo incrรญvel. Leitura fรกcil e descritiva, possibilitando o leitor imaginar com facilidade as cenas apresentadas na leitura. 10/10 recomendo a leitura!!
Muito bom seu Yuri, sempre que postar estaria no aguardo para ler e ver quais sรฃo as novidades dessa historia! [img=recomendar][img=recomendar]
This is my first ever review and I legit never expected it to be so negative. I got the almost unreasonable urge for violence when reading this hunk of dookie. Brother/Sister, you do not need that many adjectives and adverbs to describe a scene happening. Just the latest chapter, the one where Erza and MC went to bed, was so obnoxiously long that it was crazy. I dare you, double dare, no I triple dare you.... Read this novel outloud and by the time you finish 24 hrs would have passed and the MC still wouldn't be done using up all of her ancient knowledge and vocab. This feels more like a vocab lesson than a novel tbh. I recommend you cut down on your use of adjectives and adverbs drastically, Author, cause this is just insane.
A bit too much internal dialog with the system AI, but it's about what you'd expect from a woman who has lived in the void for millenia, fueled by nothing but spite and sarcasm. Cute MC, can see seeds of character development sprouting as of writing this review.
โคโ๐ฅโคโ๐ฅโคโ๐ฅโคโ๐ฅโคโ๐ฅโคโ๐ฅโคโ๐ฅโคโ๐ฅโคโ๐ฅโคโ๐ฅโคโ๐ฅโคโ๐ฅโคโ๐ฅโคโ๐ฅโคโ๐ฅโคโ๐ฅโคโ๐ฅโคโ๐ฅโคโ๐ฅโคโ๐ฅโคโ๐ฅโคโ๐ฅโคโ๐ฅโคโ๐ฅโคโ๐ฅโคโ๐ฅโคโ๐ฅโคโ๐ฅโคโ๐ฅโคโ๐ฅโคโ๐ฅโคโ๐ฅโคโ๐ฅโคโ๐ฅโคโ๐ฅโคโ๐ฅโคโ๐ฅโคโ๐ฅโคโ๐ฅโคโ๐ฅโคโ๐ฅโคโ๐ฅโคโ๐ฅโคโ๐ฅโคโ๐ฅโคโ๐ฅโคโ๐ฅโคโ๐ฅโคโ๐ฅโคโ๐ฅโคโ๐ฅโคโ๐ฅ
I know my comment might be a bit biased, seeing as I'm the author, but I really do recommend giving it a read. I've put a lot of effort into writing it.
๐๐ถโ ๐ ๐ท๐๐๐ ๐ฟ๐ฒ๐ฎ๐ฑ ๐๐ผ๐๐ฟ ๐๐๐ผ๐ฟ๐ ๐ฎ๐ป๐ฑ ๐ข๐ ๐ ๐ถ๐ ๐๐ฎ๐ ๐ฎ๐ฐ๐๐๐ฎ๐น๐น๐ ๐๐๐ฅ๐๏ฝก ๐๐ฟ ๐๐ต๐ผโ ๐๐ต๐ถ๐น๐ฒ ๐ฟ๐ฒ๐ฎ๐ฑ๐ถ๐ป๐ด ๐บ๐ ๐ฏ๐ฟ๐ฎ๐ถ๐ป ๐๐ฎ๐ ๐ถ๐ป ๐ณ๐๐น๐น-๐ผ๐ป ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ก๐๐ง๐๐ข๐ก ๐ ๐ข๐๐ ๐'๐บ ๐ฎ๐ป ๐ฎ๐ฟ๐๐ถ๐๐ ๐ฎ๐ป๐ฑ ๐ ๐๐ฎ๐ธ๐ฒ ๐ฐ๐ผ๐บ๐บ๐ถ๐๐๐ถ๐ผ๐ป๐ ๐ณ๐ผ๐ฟ ๐ช๐ฒ๐ฏ๐๐ผ๐ผ๐ป๐โ ๐๐ผ๐บ๐ถ๐ฐ๐โ ๐ ๐ฎ๐ป๐ด๐ฎ & ๐๐ต๐ฎ๐ฟ๐ฎ๐ฐ๐๐ฒ๐ฟ/๐๐ผ๐๐ฒ๐ฟ ๐๐ฟ๐๏ฝก ๐ก๐ผ๐ ๐ด๐ผ๐ป๐ป๐ฎ ๐น๐ถ๐ฒ ๐ฑ๐๐ฑ๐ฒ ๐ฏ๐๐ ๐๐ผ๐๐ฟ ๐๐๐ผ๐ฟ๐ ๐๐ผ๐๐น๐ฑ ๐น๐ผ๐ผ๐ธ ๐ถ๐ป๐๐ฎ๐ป๐ฒ ๐ฎ๐ ๐ฎ ๐ฐ๐ผ๐บ๐ถ๐ฐ ๐ผ๐ฟ ๐๐ฒ๐ฏ๐๐ผ๐ผ๐ปโ ๐ฎ๐ป๐ฑ ๐ ๐๐ฎ๐ป๐ป๐ฎ ๐ฏ๐ฒ ๐๐ต๐ฒ ๐ผ๐ป๐ฒ ๐๐ผ ๐ฑ๐ผ ๐ถ๐๏ฝก ๐ก๐ผ ๐ฝ๐ฟ๐ฒ๐๐๐๐ฟ๐ฒ ๐ฎ๐ ๐ฎ๐น๐นโ ๐ท๐๐๐ ๐๐ต๐ผ๐๐ด๐ต๐ ๐ถ๐ ๐ฐ๐ผ๐๐น๐ฑ ๐ฏ๐ฒ ๐๐๐ฝ๐ฒ๐ฟ ๐ฑ๐ผ๐ฝ๐ฒ ๐๐ผ ๐ฏ๐ฟ๐ถ๐ป๐ด ๐ถ๐ ๐๐ผ ๐น๐ถ๐ณ๐ฒ ๐๐ถ๐๐๐ฎ๐น๐น๐๏ฝก ๐๐ณ ๐๐ผ๐'๐ฟ๐ฒ ๐ฑ๐ผ๐๐ป ๐ผ๐ฟ ๐๐ฎ๐ป๐ป๐ฎ ๐๐ฒ๐ฒ ๐๐ผ๐บ๐ฒ ๐ผ๐ณ ๐บ๐ ๐๐ผ๐ฟ๐ธโ ๐ต๐ถ๐ ๐บ๐ฒ ๐๐ฝ ๐ผ๐ป ๐๐ถ๐๐ฐ๐ผ๐ฟ๐ฑ (๐ฏ๐ฒ๐ป๐ป๐ฒ๐๐_๐น๐ผ๐น) ๐ผ๐ฟ ๐๐ป๐๐๐ฎ๐ด๐ฟ๐ฎ๐บ (๐ฒ๐๐ฒ_๐๐ฒ๐ฟ๐๐ฒ_)๏ฝก ๐๐ผ๐ฝ๐ฒ ๐๐ผ ๐ต๐ฒ๐ฎ๐ฟ ๐ณ๐ฟ๐ผ๐บ ๐ ๐๐ผ๐ผ๐ป!
I like the story but author keeps forgetting to put โand, bla bla bla.โ When talking about multiple things. And for the love of god stop with the superfluous, over the top, and unnecessary amount of unneeded adjectives and supporting words and descriptions
I'm liking this story so far, but I have to say to the author.. You don't need to try and stuff as many adjectives as you can into a sentence. At first I thought you were just writing it as the MC's personality, which was pretty fun. Then EVERY character started to do it. "Hello my beautiful, frustrated, and impatient friend." Sentences like that. Three adjectives every time. It's weird when someone like Natsu does it, especially. Completely out of character for him. You don't need to stuff a sentence full of adjectives to make it an interesting dialogue. Anyway, besides that, it's fairly enjoyable, though how strong the MC currently is is kind of confusing.
Muito bom, recomendo, ainda mais a forma em que o autor escreveu, expressando sua forma de ver, transformando em algo incrรญvel. Leitura fรกcil e descritiva, possibilitando o leitor imaginar com facilidade as cenas apresentadas na leitura. 10/10 recomendo a leitura!!
Muito bom seu Yuri, sempre que postar estaria no aguardo para ler e ver quais sรฃo as novidades dessa historia! [img=recomendar][img=recomendar]
This is my first ever review and I legit never expected it to be so negative. I got the almost unreasonable urge for violence when reading this hunk of dookie. Brother/Sister, you do not need that many adjectives and adverbs to describe a scene happening. Just the latest chapter, the one where Erza and MC went to bed, was so obnoxiously long that it was crazy. I dare you, double dare, no I triple dare you.... Read this novel outloud and by the time you finish 24 hrs would have passed and the MC still wouldn't be done using up all of her ancient knowledge and vocab. This feels more like a vocab lesson than a novel tbh. I recommend you cut down on your use of adjectives and adverbs drastically, Author, cause this is just insane.
A bit too much internal dialog with the system AI, but it's about what you'd expect from a woman who has lived in the void for millenia, fueled by nothing but spite and sarcasm. Cute MC, can see seeds of character development sprouting as of writing this review.
โคโ๐ฅโคโ๐ฅโคโ๐ฅโคโ๐ฅโคโ๐ฅโคโ๐ฅโคโ๐ฅโคโ๐ฅโคโ๐ฅโคโ๐ฅโคโ๐ฅโคโ๐ฅโคโ๐ฅโคโ๐ฅโคโ๐ฅโคโ๐ฅโคโ๐ฅโคโ๐ฅโคโ๐ฅโคโ๐ฅโคโ๐ฅโคโ๐ฅโคโ๐ฅโคโ๐ฅโคโ๐ฅโคโ๐ฅโคโ๐ฅโคโ๐ฅโคโ๐ฅโคโ๐ฅโคโ๐ฅโคโ๐ฅโคโ๐ฅโคโ๐ฅโคโ๐ฅโคโ๐ฅโคโ๐ฅโคโ๐ฅโคโ๐ฅโคโ๐ฅโคโ๐ฅโคโ๐ฅโคโ๐ฅโคโ๐ฅโคโ๐ฅโคโ๐ฅโคโ๐ฅโคโ๐ฅโคโ๐ฅโคโ๐ฅโคโ๐ฅโคโ๐ฅ
I know my comment might be a bit biased, seeing as I'm the author, but I really do recommend giving it a read. I've put a lot of effort into writing it.
๐๐ถโ ๐ ๐ท๐๐๐ ๐ฟ๐ฒ๐ฎ๐ฑ ๐๐ผ๐๐ฟ ๐๐๐ผ๐ฟ๐ ๐ฎ๐ป๐ฑ ๐ข๐ ๐ ๐ถ๐ ๐๐ฎ๐ ๐ฎ๐ฐ๐๐๐ฎ๐น๐น๐ ๐๐๐ฅ๐๏ฝก ๐๐ฟ ๐๐ต๐ผโ ๐๐ต๐ถ๐น๐ฒ ๐ฟ๐ฒ๐ฎ๐ฑ๐ถ๐ป๐ด ๐บ๐ ๐ฏ๐ฟ๐ฎ๐ถ๐ป ๐๐ฎ๐ ๐ถ๐ป ๐ณ๐๐น๐น-๐ผ๐ป ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ก๐๐ง๐๐ข๐ก ๐ ๐ข๐๐ ๐'๐บ ๐ฎ๐ป ๐ฎ๐ฟ๐๐ถ๐๐ ๐ฎ๐ป๐ฑ ๐ ๐๐ฎ๐ธ๐ฒ ๐ฐ๐ผ๐บ๐บ๐ถ๐๐๐ถ๐ผ๐ป๐ ๐ณ๐ผ๐ฟ ๐ช๐ฒ๐ฏ๐๐ผ๐ผ๐ป๐โ ๐๐ผ๐บ๐ถ๐ฐ๐โ ๐ ๐ฎ๐ป๐ด๐ฎ & ๐๐ต๐ฎ๐ฟ๐ฎ๐ฐ๐๐ฒ๐ฟ/๐๐ผ๐๐ฒ๐ฟ ๐๐ฟ๐๏ฝก ๐ก๐ผ๐ ๐ด๐ผ๐ป๐ป๐ฎ ๐น๐ถ๐ฒ ๐ฑ๐๐ฑ๐ฒ ๐ฏ๐๐ ๐๐ผ๐๐ฟ ๐๐๐ผ๐ฟ๐ ๐๐ผ๐๐น๐ฑ ๐น๐ผ๐ผ๐ธ ๐ถ๐ป๐๐ฎ๐ป๐ฒ ๐ฎ๐ ๐ฎ ๐ฐ๐ผ๐บ๐ถ๐ฐ ๐ผ๐ฟ ๐๐ฒ๐ฏ๐๐ผ๐ผ๐ปโ ๐ฎ๐ป๐ฑ ๐ ๐๐ฎ๐ป๐ป๐ฎ ๐ฏ๐ฒ ๐๐ต๐ฒ ๐ผ๐ป๐ฒ ๐๐ผ ๐ฑ๐ผ ๐ถ๐๏ฝก ๐ก๐ผ ๐ฝ๐ฟ๐ฒ๐๐๐๐ฟ๐ฒ ๐ฎ๐ ๐ฎ๐น๐นโ ๐ท๐๐๐ ๐๐ต๐ผ๐๐ด๐ต๐ ๐ถ๐ ๐ฐ๐ผ๐๐น๐ฑ ๐ฏ๐ฒ ๐๐๐ฝ๐ฒ๐ฟ ๐ฑ๐ผ๐ฝ๐ฒ ๐๐ผ ๐ฏ๐ฟ๐ถ๐ป๐ด ๐ถ๐ ๐๐ผ ๐น๐ถ๐ณ๐ฒ ๐๐ถ๐๐๐ฎ๐น๐น๐๏ฝก ๐๐ณ ๐๐ผ๐'๐ฟ๐ฒ ๐ฑ๐ผ๐๐ป ๐ผ๐ฟ ๐๐ฎ๐ป๐ป๐ฎ ๐๐ฒ๐ฒ ๐๐ผ๐บ๐ฒ ๐ผ๐ณ ๐บ๐ ๐๐ผ๐ฟ๐ธโ ๐ต๐ถ๐ ๐บ๐ฒ ๐๐ฝ ๐ผ๐ป ๐๐ถ๐๐ฐ๐ผ๐ฟ๐ฑ (๐ฏ๐ฒ๐ป๐ป๐ฒ๐๐_๐น๐ผ๐น) ๐ผ๐ฟ ๐๐ป๐๐๐ฎ๐ด๐ฟ๐ฎ๐บ (๐ฒ๐๐ฒ_๐๐ฒ๐ฟ๐๐ฒ_)๏ฝก ๐๐ผ๐ฝ๐ฒ ๐๐ผ ๐ต๐ฒ๐ฎ๐ฟ ๐ณ๐ฟ๐ผ๐บ ๐ ๐๐ผ๐ผ๐ป!