"No." Jason shook his head and turned away from Toshiro. "There has to be another way, Toshiro."
"Another way for what?" Toshiro asked behind him.
"You can't stand there and tell me you've accepted you might die. What's wrong with you?"
"What's wrong with me?" Toshiro asked.
"You heard me," Jason said turning to glare at him. "Don't you want to live, Toshi?"
"I'm just stating the truth," Toshiro said.
"Well, I don't accept that truth, Toshi."
Toshiro gave a soft sigh and nodded. Jason frowned at the accepting expression on Toshiro's face.
"I understand," Toshiro said and headed out of the great room going to his room.
Jason stared after him confused.
What did Toshiro understand?
Did he now know that they needed to fight this? Maybe they could talk to Jeff. The detective would know what to do.
Jason sighed and sat on the couch. Sean had been right about the mob. He knew enough to understand that they had to find a way to hide Toshiro.
He glanced up when he heard Toshiro returning from the bedroom and stood up when he saw Toshiro carrying his bag.
"What do you think you're doing?"
"Leaving," Toshiro headed to the front door, "thanks for letting me stay."
Panic had Jason running to grab Toshiro's arm.
"What the fuck is wrong with you? Who said you can go?"
Toshiro shrugged his hold off.
"I need to leave, Jason. I can't stay here if you don't want trouble. This is the best solution for both of us."
"For you maybe," Jason said afraid of the closed expression on Toshiro's face. "Where are you going to go? It's raining buckets, and in case you didn't notice, this is a small town. No buses run this late."
Toshiro adjusted his leather jacket and zipped it up.
"If someone comes asking about me, tell them you haven't seen me, Jason. Tell them the last time you saw me was in the hospital. Do you understand?"
Jason reached for Toshiro's right hand, his hand covering Toshiro's hold on his bag.
"You made me a promise, Toshi. Do you remember, out on the lake?"
"I'm sorry I can't keep it."
"So you're just going to walk away?"
"I would have done it next week," Toshiro said and lifted his head to meet Jason's gaze. "It would have been harder then, but I suppose now is better. Thank you, for—"
Toshiro broke off and bit his lower lip.
"For what?" Jason asked studying Toshiro's face.
God help him but he needed to find the right words to make Toshiro stay. What could he offer other than himself?
Toshiro managed a small smile, "For your kindness."
"I don't want your thanks, Toshi. You owe me a debt of life," Jason said abruptly. "You haven't paid it yet."
"Don't you think my leaving is enough? That way you stay safe, and I won't worry about them finding you too."
"That's not good enough," Jason insisted. "I want something I can see with my eyes everyday, for as long as I can."
Toshiro sighed studying him.
"What do you want?"
"You," Jason said.
Toshiro's fingers loosened on the bag he held and Jason took the bag away from him. He threw it in the direction of the great room not caring where it landed.
"You're crazier than I'd imagined." Toshiro shook his head. "Don't be like this, Jason. You might have saved me in the woods, but it won't change what I am. It won't change what's coming after me. Please ask for something else."
"I know if you walk out that door, you're never going to come back," Jason said his hands moving to Toshiro's shoulders. "So, I don't want anything else but you here with me. Can't you see how much I care about you?"
Toshiro closed his eyes.
"I can't stay if you don't accept what I am—"
"I accept what you are," Jason cut in.
When Toshiro opened his eyes and gave him a skeptical look, he elaborated.
"You're a victim of terrible circumstances. The things that happened to you, or what you've done, you did it to survive."
"You're wrong," Toshiro said, his eyes darkening. "It might have started out that way, but as the years passed, it wasn't survival, Jason. I was complacent. I never tried to make a change. The only reason I walked into Agent Baron's house was that I felt betrayed. It was a selfish act, not a selfless one. If I stay, you have to know that about me. That I've done the worst things you can imagine, without remorse, that is who you're letting stay—
Jason took Toshiro's lips in a despairing kiss to silence him. His fingers digging into Toshiro's hair, he pulled Toshiro closer not giving him a chance to talk. Desperately holding on as the storm raged outside. Toshiro clung to his arms, at first trying to push him away, but when he deepened their kiss, Toshiro held on.
Satisfied by Toshiro's response, he dropped his hands to Toshiro's jacket, unzipping it. He pushed the dark leather off Toshiro's shoulders and was glad when it dropped to the wooden floor. He reached for the edges of Toshiro's t-shirt and pulled it up, breaking their kiss so that he could tug it off.
"Jason," Toshiro started to protest when he dropped the black t-shirt to the floor.
"I don't care what you are. I'm not letting you leave," Jason said removing his own t-shirt.
He dropped it on top of Toshiro's and pulled Toshiro into his arms.
"I can't let you go."
"You're really insane," Toshiro said on a whisper when Jason kissed him again, sparks of electricity raced through him when Jason ran callused fingers over his back.
That's all it took, one touch and his body came alive. He forgot the reasons why he should walk out into the pounding rain. The exquisite heat building between them took over as Jason trailed kisses along his jaw. A soft gasp escaped when Jason licked the curve of his shoulder, and then sucked on sensitive skin.
Jason's kisses were demanding, insistent, he moaned and Jason took in the desperate sound, bunching his hair with a firm grip. The firm hold in his hair triggered the memory of Kaito grabbing his hair in the same way. Tight grip, the soft strands pulled painfully, it had brought tears to his eyes.
Jason swept his tongue into his mouth, his assault teasing, soothing. His gentleness so new it made him tremble, the memory of Kaito faded replaced by Jason's touch.
He lost himself in the feel of Jason's callused hands on his skin when they lay on the carpet. He welcomed Jason's weight over him, the feel of Jason's heated skin against his, the hot kisses Jason trailed on his chest. He closed his eyes and arched into Jason's mouth when Jason sucked on his nipples. His cock was hard and weeping against Jason's stomach. Every cell in his body rejoicing as Jason showered him with urgent caresses. There was no pain, no discomfort just pleasure, flooding his senses until he couldn't catch his breath.
"Jason," he hissed when Jason took him into his mouth.
Jason swiped his tongue over the head of his cock and proceeded to pull back to lick the tip. His breath left his lungs, his cock jerked with the fiery sensations shooting through it. His hand fisted in Jason's hair, moving his hips in small almost helpless thrusts, wanting to push his cock deeper into Jason's scalding heat. His moans increased as Jason sucked him, driving him to a wrenching climax that had him screaming and arching his hips into Jason's mouth. He came so hard; it felt like he was experiencing pleasure for the first time in his life. Burning heat, so delicious it coursed through his body, he could only close his eyes and savor it.
Jason moved up his body, and took his mouth in a desperate kiss. He tasted himself, and Jason's warmth.
Toshiro wrapped his arms around Jason, needing more, desperate for it. Again and again, Jason dragged him into a world of hot silk, decadent pleasure and need. He felt on fire. His fingers dug into firm sinewy muscles, caressing Jason's sweaty skin. When Jason moved away from him, he protested with a frustrated moan.
Jason urged him onto his stomach and then to his knees. He closed his eyes when he felt Jason press a kiss on the small of his back. Then, his world changed when Jason licked his puckered opening. His cock hardened instantly at the feel of Jason's lips against him, Jason's tongue sliding into him made him dig his fingers into the carpet and when he was ready, the feel of Jason's thick cock sliding into him had him moaning with need.
Thoughts faded, pleasure took over, each measured withdrawal made him whimper, each time his skin slapped against Jason as he bucked into him made him cry out for more. Jason stretched over his back and he felt Jason's mouth on his neck. Felt Jason suck on sensitive skin hard, it brought him closer to his climax. So close, he arched into Jason's thrusts, wanting more, needing more, everything…gods…he was going crazy. Jason was going to kill him with ecstasy.
"Ah, God, yes," Jason said harshly thrusting into him harder and then he ejaculated, forcefully, pumping his seed so hotly, Toshi felt it deep inside.
He felt complete, Jason's hold was tight as he kept coming, but it wasn't punishing. It was possessive, demanding he give in, give himself up too. He closed his eyes as he came again, for the first time in his life, he held nothing of himself back as he came with a harsh cry.
He woke up to find Jason lying on his left side, head propped up as he studied him.
"Hey," Jason said, his green eyes full of concern in the warm light from the lamps.
Toshiro smiled and shifted on the carpet to get more comfortable. He touched the cushion under his head.
"You fell asleep. I didn't want to wake you," Jason said. "Did I hurt you?"
Toshiro shook his head. "No."
"Are you sure?" Jason asked leaning closer to look into his eyes.
Toshiro lifted his head and captured Jason's lips in a sweet kiss. Jason moaned and moved closer. He broke the kiss and murmured against Jason's lips.
"I'm sure, Jason."
He lay back and Jason shifted even closer. Content to lay in silence, Toshiro turned on to his stomach, his arms folded on the pillow. He closed his eyes as Jason dusted kisses over his shoulder.
Jason traced the white scars on Toshiro's back. He didn't want to imagine the pain Toshi had endured. Scars upon scars, faded ones, permanent ones, new ones, he leaned and pressed kisses on them.
Toshiro hissed as if burned, his body tense.
"What are you doing?" Toshiro asked lifting his head slightly.
"Replacing all these scars with new memories," Jason murmured against his skin. "If you stay with me, I'll keep you safe, Toshi."
His voice sounded rough, unsure.
"Please don't try to leave me anymore."
"I can't stay here for long," Toshiro said, his voice heavy with regret.
Jason slid his fingers into black silky hair.
"Enough with this topic, you're not leaving, period. I don't care who comes looking for you. I'm not letting you go."
The next morning, Toshiro lay on his side on the rug in the great room watching Jason sleep. The rain had stopped; the sun was coming up in the horizon. They'd spent their night right here on this rug, with Jason taking him over, until it felt like there was no place else for him but here.
Sunlight broke through the windows, warming Jason's pale skin. Moving closer, he traced the curve of Jason's hip with his left hand. Clean smooth skin, unlike his. He closed his eyes remembering Jason kissing the scars on his back. He'd wanted to cry at the gentle caresses.
His eyes flew open and he met smiling green eyes. Jason's blond hair tousled to perfection, stubble dusted his chin. Toshiro leaned to kiss him just to feel it against his own skin.
"Morning," he said against Jason's lips, smiling when Jason pushed him to his back and lay over him.
Jason pushed his hair back.
"Your eyes are so beautiful."
Toshiro chuckled, running his hands over Jason's back.
"Men are not beautiful."
"You are," Jason said as he pressed his hard cock against Toshiro's aching one. A soft gasp escaped Toshiro's lips and Jason kissed him again. "You're beautiful to me."
Toshiro combed his fingers through Jason's shaggy blond hair. The soft strands curling through his fingers.
"I don't know how to say no to you."
Jason grinned; his green eyes the color of jade.
"I think its better that you don't learn how. Otherwise, you'd pack a bag and leave me alone again."
"I should leave, Jason, if only to keep you safe."
"I don't want to be safe."
Toshiro sighed when Jason trailed kisses along his jaw, his neck, pausing to suck on the curve of his shoulder. His fingers tightened in Jason's hair when that talented mouth moved to his chest, licking and biting his left nipple, then his right. All logical thoughts disappeared under Jason's assault. Wrapping his arms around Jason, he gave up trying to be reasonable, and thinking of the right thing to do.
Jason's warmth, how could he give it up when it was the purest thing he'd ever had in his life? When Jason kissed him again, he gave up thinking at all.
This was heaven, Jason thought watching Toshiro sort beads on the floor under his worktable.
Dark silky hair held in a low messy ponytail, a few strands escaping to frame Toshiro's face. He smiled knowing that he could walk over and sweep his fingers through that hair, and have Toshiro tilt his head back for a kiss.
Heaven wrapped up in a fit, handsome and beautiful man with a dark past.
They'd spent a little over a month getting to know each other. After that first day, he and Toshiro had decided not to talk about the future, or the past for the matter.
They preferred living day to day, as though nothing mattered beyond the Watson property. They'd explored the woods around the property: Jason had found bicycles in the garage and coaxed Toshiro into riding with him around the property.
When they weren't in the woods or riding, they went fishing. He'd found Toshiro knew more about fishing than he'd let on when the younger man won their contest of who could get more fish.
Jason had driven them back to shore in a huff, and had enjoyed having Toshiro cajole him out of his huff by cooking him a great fish dinner.
They made love, spending hours exploring each other. He loved Toshiro's body, loved how Toshiro responded to him. He'd tried to get Toshiro to talk about the scars on his back, but every time he asked, Toshiro distracted him with kisses that usually led to more scorching sex.
Six glorious weeks of waking up next to Toshiro, making love with him, watching him relax, and let down his guard. He wanted to keep it this way forever.
Sadly, the Watsons were due on Friday.
Their precious time alone was ending. He had two more days with Toshiro here and then they'd go to his loft. A thrill went through him as he realized he was eager to fill his own space with Toshiro memories. He looked forward to making love to Toshiro on his own bed. Just imagining Toshiro, body arched in ecstasy, his head thrown back with a silent moan, Jason's cock hardened and he grinned. His thoughts strayed to the reason why Toshiro was sorting through beads on the floor.
Toshiro had walked into the workroom with a lunch tray, and found him adding beads to a silver wire. Having Toshiro's stand so close had been too much.
Jason had abandoned the beads, and reached for Toshiro. Kissing and pushing him on the table, they'd stripped in a hurry, knocking over containers of beads in their haste. Toshiro's pleas urgent as they explored each other, his cock hardened, at the memory of the needy gasp Toshiro had given when he'd entered him. He'd taken Toshiro with urgency, bending him over the table and pounding into him until they both came with harsh gasps.
"Stop fantasizing and come help me," Toshiro said dumping a handful of red beads in to their container. "We're lucky they're not those tiny ones you were using yesterday."
Jason picked up the container of green beads and took it with him under the table. He crouched beside Toshiro and picked green beads from the floor.
"I don't think I'll ever look at a worktable without thinking of you urging me to take you harder. Should we go again?" Jason teased as he dumped the beads into their container.
Toshiro bumped his shoulder.
"You're insatiable. I don't think that's advisable in here," Toshiro teased looking around the workroom. "When are you going to take back all these supplies to your loft? Don't we have to move next week?"
"Yep," Jason said with a sigh. "I almost don't want to leave."
"Why?" Toshiro asked sitting on the floor and crossing his legs under him.
"I have you all to myself here. We're in a world of our own, nothing to worry about, and no one to bother us."
Silence filled the room and he glanced up to find Toshiro watching him.
"I wish we could stay here too."
Toshiro dropped the beads in his hand into a container.
Jason touched Toshiro's jaw.
"Don't wear such a sad face. Leaving is good for us. I want to show you my house, see you in my space, watch you cook in my kitchen. So, it's good we're moving back to my loft."
"You're taking advantage of me. You promised me pancakes in bed when I was in the hospital. What happened to that?"
"It will come as a surprise, although it's hard to surprise you. You wake up so early."
"I'll stay in bed if you tell me."
"Will you stay in my life forever if I ask you?" he asked studying Toshiro.
Toshiro lifted his head in surprise.
Those honeyed eyes were full of shadows that he wished he could dispel.
"I'm sorry. I know the future is off limits. But, if you had a choice, would you stay, Toshi?"
"In a heartbeat," Toshiro answered.
His heart skipped and he couldn't stop grinning. Toshiro continued picking beads and he closed his eyes asking the fates for this one miracle.
To please, please, please, allow Toshiro to be his forever.
Nightmares woke Toshiro again.
Toshiro sat up on Jason's bed, wishing he could exorcise his entire life except the last month and a half. Watching Jason sleep beside him, the wishes threatened to choke him.
His weakness wasn't helping either of them. He'd put off contacting Agent Baron for two weeks now, he hadn't even checked his email; instead he'd spent his time losing himself in a dream.
Touching Jason's hair, he smiled. This was a dream he never wanted to leave.
Gods, what was he going to do once they moved back to town?
Out here in the woods, he could keep pretending everything was okay. In town, there was the nosy detective, not to mention Kaito could have men there looking for him. They'd have realized he hadn't gone back to Tokyo by now.
Wiping a hand down his face, he slid out of bed. He pulled the covers over Jason, wore sweat pants he'd draped on an armchair earlier and left their room.
He headed to the guest room Jason had given him first. Finding his duffel bag, he got his laptop, his gaze falling on a black cloth at the bottom of the bag. Pushing his t-shirts over the bundle to hide it better, he dropped the bag on the floor and moved to sit on the bed.
He turned on the laptop with a sigh to check his email. He found one new message in his in-box from Agent Baron sent a week ago.
Kaito arrested at JFK. He might be in custody, but you need to be careful. Someone working for him is looking for information about you in my office. I'll send you a message when it's safe to meet.
Deleting the message, Toshiro pushed the laptop to the side on the bed and dropped his face into his hands. Kaito looking for him meant he knew that Toshiro wasn't in Japan. His hands shook and he stared at them in shock. His chest tightened and it suddenly got harder to breathe. Clenching his fists, he closed his eyes and took in deep gulps of air. This was not the time to panic.
It's not the time, Toshiro.
Taking in another deep breath, he consoled himself with the fact that he hadn't actually told Baron where he was going. Kaito wouldn't know either, and would look for him in New York City.
That's right; Kaito's men would rough up everyone he'd talked to in the past four years. Every shop he'd visited, every restaurant, which would take time.
Unless they found whatever gadget, Baron had used to send him the message. He glanced at his laptop, panic flooding him again. What if they had found Baron's phone or laptop after all he hadn't gotten another message in a week.
Kaito had Pakino, the computer genius with a hard on for puzzles. Toshiro sighed and stared at the laptop. There was a possibility of Pakino tracking him to this location. He winced at the thought of them finding Jason.
Jumping off the bed, he grabbed the laptop and left his bedroom going to the kitchen. Without switching on the lights, he opened the cupboard under the sink and got a can of gasoline. Taking matches from a basket on the counter, he went out on the deck and opened the grill.
Placing the laptop on the grill, he doused it with gasoline, and lit a match. He dropped the match on the laptop and watched it burn with a grim look.
"Agent Baron," Suni Pakino said with a smile. "You should have cooperated with me, and then I wouldn't have to break into your house."
"Stop mumbling to yourself, and tell me we've found him."
"You're an ass, Taki," Pakino grumbled as he studied the map on his laptop. "It wasn't easy you know, what with the good agent hiding his laptop in the floorboards under his bed. What an idiot."
"He's not coming home tonight." Taki looked out the kitchen window. "He's busy interrogating the boss. We need to get to Shindo."
"Stupid Shindo," Pakino said frowning at the map on his laptop. "I liked him, you know. I really thought he'd end up running the organization."
"Just find him. I want to teach him a lesson," Taki said. "Do you have it yet?"
"One sec, jeez, you're so impatient. No wonder no one wants to be sent out with you, Taki."
"Shindo is smart, but not smart enough. Doesn't he know the best place to hide is a big city. Little towns are so easy," Pakino scoffed.
"Where is he?" Taki abandoned his post at the kitchen windows to come lean over him. "Is that a lake?"
"Yeah," Pakino grinned. "Lake Keuka in Penn Yan, NY, he's probably staying at Warren Carrey's lake house since the man returned to Newark to be close with the family. I told you people Toshiro was smart. Everyone is searching for him in Tokyo, while he's been living comfortably."
Pakino burst out laughing and Taki smacked him on the head.
"Why are you guessing his exact location?"
"The signal disappeared." Pakino pointed to the screen. "All I know is that he's in Penn Yan. It's your job to find out where; I've given you a small place to look. Gods, I really miss Shindo. You're an idiot, Taki."
Taki glared at him.
"Keep missing him and you might end up dead like him, Pakino. Pack up, we're leaving, this is going to be a long day."
Michael Baron walked into his house in the morning, tired from a night without sleep. Kaito Takumi was one tough nut to crack. Kaito hadn't spoken one word since they'd arrested him two weeks ago. Last night, when they'd found another one of Kaito's men dead, Michael had spent the whole night trying to get Kaito to talk to him. He stopped at the kitchen door when he switched on the light and saw the black laptop sitting on his kitchen table.
He instantly flattened against the wall, got his gun in one practiced move and reached for his cell phone with his left hand. Dialing his partner, he peeked into the kitchen, hoping not to find anyone waiting.
"I thought you were going to bed?" Gene Hughes answered with a yawn.
"They were in my house," Michael said staring at the laptop he'd kept under his bed upstairs. "You better get here. Toshiro Shindo is in trouble."
"This list you wrote is illegible," Toshiro complained into Jason's cell phone. "You should have been a doctor. You write worse than chicken scratch."
He smiled at the sound of Jason laughing on the other end.
"What can't you read, my love?"
"Do you have to call me that?" Toshiro asked as he moved the cart along the aisle.
"Yes, don't you like it?"
Truthfully, he liked it when Jason called him those endearing words. Babe, love, sweetheart, they were so corny, but he loved hearing them.
"You're too much," Toshiro said with a smile. "What is canberry, and why do you want sixteen bottles?"
Jason laughed again.
"Cranberry juice and I want six bottles."
Toshiro stared at the list again.
"My goodness, no one can figure that out looking at this list. Just stay on the phone and tell me what you want me to buy."
"So touchy," Jason teased on the other end. "I'm busy, you know. All these boxes won't pack themselves."
"How do you know what the Watsons want in their pantry?" Toshiro asked as he got the bottles of juice and put them in the cart.
"She emailed me a list last night. Toshi, since we're going to be in town tonight, how about I take you out for dinner?"
"Are you tired of my cooking?" Toshiro teased moving his cart along to the next aisle. The next item on his list read as whole Mike, but he decided it was whole milk. "How many cartons of milk do you want?"
"Two," Jason said. "No, I'm not tired of your cooking, babe. I want to do something nice for you. Hey, Sean is calling; hold on a bit, okay?"
"Sure," Toshiro stopped along the dairy aisle and opened the fridge doors to get whole milk.
Taking two cartons, he froze when he saw the reflection of a man dressed in black behind him. Turning around fast, he frowned when there was only an old woman pushing her cart toward him.
Fighting back panic, Toshiro took in a deep breath and let it out. He could have sworn he'd seen Pakino.
"What time do you think you'll get here?"
"In the next two hours," Jason said sweeping the workroom floor.
The shelves were empty, boxes lining the entrance, ready to go when Toshiro came back.
"I'm excited to show Toshi my house."
"Jeez, is this the Jason I know?" Sean asked on the other end.
Jason could almost picture Sean rolling his eyes in disbelief.
"Keep acting like that and I might come there and smack you."
"Yeah, yeah," Sean laughed. "I'll be at the shop."
Jason placed his phone on the table and moved to get the dustpan. The door opened and he glanced up with a ready smile.
His next words froze in his throat when he saw the two men that walked in. Dropping the dustpan and broom, he raised his hands in the air at the sight of the guns trained on him.
Putting the milk in the cart, Toshiro shoved the phone into his pocket and closed the refrigerator. He continued walking along the aisle, paying more attention to the people around him.
He couldn't shake off the feeling of that someone followed him. By the time he finished shopping, every cell in his body told him to rush back to Jason.
He paid for the groceries, left the supermarket and ran to Jason's Range Rover. Dumping the groceries in the back passenger seat, he pushed the cart to the side of his parking space and entered the driver's side.
Jason hadn't called him back.
Shoving his key into the starter, he got his cell phone and dialed the Watson house phone. When there was no answer, he started the car and drove out of the parking lot at full speed.
It took him fifteen minutes to get to the Watson House. Fifteen minutes, in which he called Jason a dozen times, getting frantic when Jason didn't answer. He tore into the front drive, parking the car haphazardly and jumped out of the car.
He ran into the house through the front door checking every room he passed. Fear filled him, as visions of Jason in Takumi's hands filled his head. Everything seemed the same, but there was no Jason. He ran to his bedroom and got the duffel bag he'd thrown in the corner.
He was an idiot to have thought he was safe here. An idiot, a stupid ass, he shook his head as he pulled out the black cloth at the bottom of the bag. He pulled out a pair of daggers, taking them to the bed; he knelt on the carpet and reached under the bed to get the gun he'd hidden under the mattress. He checked his ammunition, shoved the daggers into pockets on the inside of his boots, and left his bedroom.
He made for the kitchen and the backdoor, praying Jason was working in the workroom untouched.
Gods, he was going to feel so stupid if this was just paranoia.
Outside, pressed against the side of the house, Toshiro frowned at the workroom door. There was no one outside, but that didn't mean there weren't people. He felt tense with alarm, sure that what he'd seen in the supermarket wasn't a hallucination.
Pakino was a psychopathic maniac who liked to play games.
Toshiro crept to the garage wall, making his way to the open workroom door. His gun held against his right side, he peeped into the workroom, hoping to see Jason alone. Air shifted behind him and he closed his eyes when the tip of a blade pressed into his neck.
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