The class has been going on for ten minutes now. I don't get a single thing. Chemistry, paired with Aarib sitting behind me is making my head spin. I'm surprised how I haven't passed out already.
Someone pokes me from behind.
It takes a second to remember it is Aarib. I almost puke out of nervousness when he throws a crumbled piece of paper at me. It hits the desk and falls on the ground.
I gulp nervously.
Swallowing my anxiety, I make sure the teacher is busy doing something and then bend down slowly to pick up the ball of paper. My heart crazily hammers in my chest, almost wanting to break through my chest and hit the boy sitting behind me with full force for giving me such a hard time.
I unfold the crumbles of the paper and read the few lines written there in red.
Need to talk. Meet me in the parking lot during lunch. Please come, it's a matter of life and death. Literally.
My breath hitches in my throat. Life and death situation? He better be kidding me! Just when I finally decide to get happy, he gives me another reason to worry about.
I shove the paper in my bag and command myself to focus on what's the teaching is teaching.
Seriously, do I really think I could understand organic chemistry on my own? I don't know if I know this, but chemistry is where I hardly understand even what the teacher says.
Wish nudges me with a book. I peer at her, and when I do so, from my peripheral I also see Aarib. I know he's looking at me, but I don't. I keep my focus and attention on Wish, who is currently giving me that raised brow. Meaning, she's suspicious of something. Meaning. . .she saw the note.
Later, I mouth to her, but she still doesn't seem convinced and dares a glance at Aarib with a dark look. Wish doesn't like Aarib at all. I don't know what or if he did anything to deserve
Wish's hatred, but it was clearly there.
When the bell to the end of chemistry period rang, I ran out of the classroom without even saying bye to Wish. I needed to get away from Aarib. It's like he is polluting me. And I feel like I am letting him.
Lunch period is here now. My anxiety is also knocking on the door. My confidence just left.
I feel vulnerable.
Standing beside my locker, I type a quick text to Wish and Zoha, telling them I won't be able to join them today, and begin walking towards the parking lot. My heart is thumping too hard.
Too loud in my ears. Somehow, I have this feeling that whatever he has to say, it is in fact a very serious thing. Just a gut feeling.
My eyes squint against the harsh sun light. I cup a hand over my eyes to see clearly around the lot, and after looking for a few seconds, I find a boy in a black leather jacket leaning against a familiar BMW. Although his back is towards me, I know it's Aarib.
And he is lighting a cigarette. Super. If that doesn't scream DANGEROUS then I don't know what does. I wonder how many more warnings I need to finally see that he is a bad boy.
Sucking in a sharp breath, I march towards the BMW, my boots making little to no noise, or maybe my thundering heart is all I hear right now, because Aarib straightens up and spins around, finding me. I keep a few feet of distance between us and fold my arms against my chest, planting my feet firmly on the ground.
Hey, I could at least try to look confident, right?
"Yeah?"
He chuckles darkly. I hadn't noticed before, but his nose has completely healed now, for which I am very grateful.
"Selam, Haya. How are you?" he asks like a gentleman. Is he pretending? Doesn't seem so.
I give him a skeptical look. "Walaikumsalam. I am good Allhamdullilah. You?"
Amusement dances in his blue hypnotic eyes. "Mhmm, good. Everyone okay at home?"
"Yes. Look, Aarib, what is it that you have to talk about?" I blurt. If he's really here to have a useless chit chat, I am not up for that.
His eyes darken suddenly. "Marry me."
I stare at him. My mouth is hanging open. No. I didn't hear him clearly.
I laugh nervously, embarrassed that I heard THAT. "I'm sorry, but I thought you said—"
"I did say that," he grumbles, lips thinning out. "You have to marry me."
Starts dance in my vision. I feel like I am already going to vomit. "Excuse me?"
Aarib draws in a hugeeee breath. Slides his hands in his pockets. Looks heavenwards before glancing at me.
"My apologies. Perhaps I didn't phrase it correctly. Will you marry me?"
I cannot help but laugh maniacally. I don't think I have ever laughed like that. Marry him? What is he talking about? Is he feeling alright?
Then it hits me, and the laughter dies from my mouth.
"Are you on drugs?" I deadpan, eyes doing a full X ray scan of him.
"What? No!" he blurts out. "Haya, this is not a joke. I'm asking you again—"
"No!" I bark. "Why would I marry you?"
"Because you have no choice. You marry me or you die."
Woah. Wait a second. "What gibberish are you uttering? Look, I really think you've had someth—"
"For God's sake! I am not high!" He's breathing hard. Really hard. Beads of sweat are forming on his forehead, his jaw ticking. "When you followed me that night, the night when you saw my brother and his men and found out who I am," he explains. "You weren't supposed to see or know any of that."
"So, what does it have to do anything with our marriage?" I counter back, somewhat baffled and scared at the same time.
This makes no sense.
"You saw what you weren't supposed to see. You know about my father and who he is, and that is a big threat to him. I did some digging on the past. Some things my mom told me.
There were two mafia leaders destroyed when an outsider let their secret out. So, this rule was passed by my ancestors. If an outsider knows about this mob, either he or she marries someone from the family—"
"Or they die," I complete for him.
He nods his head, looking calm.
Meanwhile I? I just had a biggest blow of shock to me. I didn't think it would really me a matter of life and death. But what if Aarib is lying? What if this is some sick revenge he is planning against me for what my brother did to him? I mean, could Aarib really do something like that?
I don't know!
"If you don't want to marry me, you can always marry Feroze. He'd actually be really happy to have you as his wife. And he's rich too, so. . ."
I laugh without any humor, panic surging inside me. "You think I care about his stupid money?"
"No, but you hate me and I know you'd rather die than marry me that's why I am asking you to marry him," he mumbles.
"I'm not marrying anyone, okay?" He looks so beautiful. Crap. Am I sure I don't want to marry Aarib?
Suddenly, anger crosses his eyes. "So you're willing to die then?"
"Look, nobody is killing anyone."
"I know those people," he grits, stepping closer. His voice is a dangerous whisper, when he says, "And if they harm you, I—" He snaps his eyes shut, as if it pains him to finish his sentence.
"You know it won't end well."
I actually don't know. Did he just admit that he cares for me?
"Aarib. . ."
"Are you out of your mind?" Disbelief. That's what I see in his eyes. "I didn't give you a choice. You're marrying me or my brother."
"I am not marrying your brother. And you actually did give me a choice." Even mentioning him makes me cringe. "Him not at all. Don't ever mention him in this marriage topic again. I don't like him at all. He's just so," I pause, looking for the right word. "He's just not the one I like, okay?" I say, finally giving up on finding a decent word to describe Aarib's older brother.
"Besides, he is way older than me."
"Duly noted." He cracks his knuckles and looks around. I would say he is avoiding my eyes? "I won't let them hurt you."
I know he wouldn't. "Okay." I nibble on my bottom lip.
"You'd have to marry eventually. I know what limits my father can cross. To him, you're nothing. Why do you think my mother ran away with me all these years back? It's because he is a ruthless man with a heart of ice. He doesn't care." Aarib stops speaking for a bit. And when he does, his voice breaks. "Mom still bears the scars of the wounds inflicted by my father. There's not one day that goes by without me hating and despising him."
I feel tears making a grand appearance. "It's just not that easy for me, you know?" I croak. "Convincing my family and everything. . ." Fat tears roll down my cheeks. "It's not easy. . ."
"Non piangere, Haya. I will try to make everything easy for you. I know it's hard." He sighs softly. "Life isn't supposed be smooth. There's going to be many obstacles. It depends on you how you decide to cross them. With haste or intelligence. It solely depends on you."
I can't stop crying.
"Look, don't cry."
"Thanks!" I mutter sarcastically, wiping away the tears with the back of my hands.
He mutters something under his breath.
"I should go. Class is going to begin any time now," I inform him. I have no idea how much time has already passed or if the class has already begun. Panic grows inside my heart, removing any hope from there. The world has come crashing down on me in less than twenty minutes. How does that even happen?
"I am not letting them hurt you, you get that?" Aarib snarls in my face, looking murderous angry at me or them, I am not so sure at this point. "Even if it means you have to marry me. I will do whatever it takes to keep you safe. Even if that's what you don't want. You're willing to risk your life? Sure, go for it. But don't expect that from me. I am not letting anyone hurt you."
He's rendered me speechless.
Literally.
"And I know what you're thinking," he continues, oblivious to my erratic heartbeat and the panic surging inside me. "You're willing to give your life away." A sinister look crosses his eyes.
"So they'd have to take you away from me over my dead body. Because there is no way they can lay a finger on you while I am standing."
And then he's gone.