As nature would have it the wind and rain had come without warning, Petrichor entered into the home via the vents, I embraced it's scent nostalgically as I remembered being with Daddy at the lake as a child, Kerri and I. The sun had shone straight above where we sat while he prayed for the woman who had come behind the honeysuckle trees, and all at once the rain had fallen while we sat and waited for him to appear after she'd been healed. Naturally, I would always ask if they had been. I remembered the clouds that had darkened and covered the sun, but before it had the smell evaded my nose, its calming effect prompted me to disregard the rain. I'd waited for the encounter again all those years. I recalled how after the clouds had uncovered the sun, it continued to rain.
From the window and through the condensation I watched the blue recycle bin as it propelled into the street at the bottom of the driveway. Estimating the distance down hill I approximated it wouldn't take long to retrieve it and return inside, but knew the rain would be an obstacle. Seeing TJ2 in the corner with his head downward and noticing he was still and breathing steadily, I concluded he was asleep and so were the 4 and 5 year olds. Being so I could get the bin and pull it up the steep driveway in a matter of minutes, likewise Ciaran was sleeping peacefully on the Ferrara Armless.
I reached into the closet and retrieved the poncho I'd taken from the Metairie home and put it halfway on to protect my head from getting wet.
Upon exiting, I left the front door ajar.
As I hurried out in the Sperry loafers to get the bin the wind had almost blown me back against the home. I now contemplated whether or not I still wanted to run downhill.
Mysteriously the front door had closed against the direction of the wind, yet I disregarded it knowing it couldn't just lock itself. I'd made it to the street after I ran against the wind and rain which seemed to contradict the strong March currents by blowing the other way, and noticed there was no traffic going in any direction on the street which was odd, but while grabbing the handle of the bin I also saw a woman who stood in the rain in front of a home about three houses down; in the middle of the street. Her choice of clothing for the weather intrigued me and was certainly not suitable even if the storm had just swiftly come. I wondered if she had come from a home to her right or to her left but saw her walking in my direction unperturbed by the wind and rain.
From where I stood it looked as if she spake but because the voices had returned since Alexander's visit I was unsure. Preparing to climb the driveway I looked in her direction again to ensure I wasn't hallucinating, but as it happened, she was real.
I headed uphill recalling the bin laid almost in the exact same spot she stood but in front of my own home.
After securing it, I walked toward the door, by now I could see the woman at the end of my driveway, who was gesturing as she spoke but otherwise stood immobile in the street.
I heard no commotion inside, through the drapes I could see TJ2 and heard no crying from Ciaran. As I reached for the thumb latch to go back inside the woman spoke to me, I was definite she'd said, "I'm looking for work."
Prejudice surfaced in me against her better judgement as I surveyed her predicament, but compassion quickly prevailed, I'd asked if she needed an umbrella while seeing that her sandalswere almost worn to shreds, "Also I have shoes, what size do u wear?"
The woman appeared to be in her early 40's and I'd assumed she was of Mulatto descent as myself, perhaps she could help with the children, I thought, but she just seemed out of place. "What's your name?" I'd asked. "Lilian," she'd replied.
"Well Lilian, would u like to come inside until the rain is gone?"
The wind was so powerful, I remembered seeing the tornado tear up the courthouse while in the state hospital and prayed my children and I were safe, also it would have been inhumane to leave Lilian out in the rain and without even asking from whence she'd come, I'd invited her into my home. She didn't come off as a street woman but I would not pry to find out why she was in the weather. "Have u recently moved?" She'd asked, I responded by saying I had.
She'd walked up the hill to where I stood now pressing the thumb latch unable to get in---the boys were asleep, hadn't they been? How the fuck had the front doors latched? Before beating with the door knocker I'd pulled the handles on each door---unable to get inside. Quietly Lilian stood.
I swiftly walked to the window, wiped the vapor, looked through the narrow opening in the drapes and saw TJ2 yet on the floor asleep, also Ciaran was still sound asleep but I knew if I continued to knock he would wake up. The rain now blew in my direction and the wind carried on---in an attempt to stay underneath the rake the rain that was falling from the sides of the home had come pouring onto the hood of the poncho. The dress Lilian wore dripped profusely at the tail.
Now aggravated I rapped louder with the door knocker after leaving the window, again I pressed the thumb latch without avail, faintly I heard the series of chimes as I frantically rang the doorbell. With all the commotion how could TJ2 not hear! Astounded, I argued with my common sense as I ran back and forth from the window to the front door but this time as I looked at the sectional, I could see the phone lit up and the number from the jail displayed across it's screen.
Unusual, Troy never called twice.
I couldn't hear the phone but I'd left it right above Ciaran's head and could now see him moving, yet frantic I prepared to break the window to get inside but was still aghast and disconcerted; the wind and rain only made mockery of the poncho as it was snatched from my right hand and thrown across the lawn before going downhill into the street. Anger settled in my gut as I saw through the water that dripped from my head that my blind newborn was frightened by the combination of the chiming from the doorbell and phone, and by the repetitious increments of knocks. Still, Lilian stood still.
"Where's your phone!?" I asked now pissed at the calm bitch before considering the garage and patio doors, but I was positive they were secured. As she shook her head in confusion I asked myself why the hell she would have a phone standing out in the rain? However, I'd only surmised she'd shaken her head because she was unable to hear me, it was later on I determined she'd heard but was confused.
Without delay I began to beat again to try to wake the boys, I wondered if my baby would roll to the floor. How could TJ2 not hear me! I was so upset and while the rain pelleted against my bare arms I looked around for something to throw inside of the window. I could go to the neighbors home but knew no ones number! They couldn't help! Again, how had the door locked on it's own!?
The water now filled my shoes, I kicked them off of my feet into the grass and ran to the back of the home. I was further irritated when I looked at the recycle bin which was the reason I'd even come outside!
City of New Orleans stood out on it's front---but lawyer, infancy, ancient, interleaf, ancestry, tyrannies---
Wasn't enough, enough!!?
I was losing my mind and definitely needed help! Things had begun to seem strange, every minute the same. I found myself dedicating the majority of my time toward my infant son and waiting for his father's call. I wanted my mother badly but was ashamed.
I would allow Lilian to work for me, she seemed harmless and I needed a friend!
The patio door was secured as I had known it was and I was helpless, who could I call? I'd purchased the home from the realtor and had been given all three sets of keys which were inside. As the rain continued to fall rapidly I ran back to the front door to find Lilian still standing there, she'd made no attempt whatsoever to block the wind and rain as she hadn't when first laying eyes on her. Naturally I'd thought she'd had a lovers quarrel but decided something else had to have taken place. I had no time to wonder about the woman who had come though, I had to get inside. While running again past the recycle bin I'd stopped and looked back to see society, fancy, scenery and tycoons all hove into view.
Lately, I'd hearkened the words.
Peering through the window I saw TJ2's position had changed, I wondered if the boys had awakened also before trying to see the stairs that were out of view except for the banister. My son still laid on his back, fiercely crying now, my emotions took over while putting myself in his shoes. He was indeed very discontent. The tears streamed my face as I helplessly called out to my oldest sons. Again, the phone screen glowed but this time my crying baby quieted. I wiped the window again to see his covered feet in the air, but could see his brother nowhere in sight! Again I began to beat and scream---"Go get your brothers Trenton!"
I didn't normally allow him to climb the stairs and when he'd come to the window he just stood on the other side with his head down listening to me. I continued to call his name to make sure he heard but could hear his giggles before he turned and ran away. Desperate, I called out to him and said, "Unlock the god damn door!" He had to have locked it!
I knew he wasn't looking up or toward the window but I needed him, as my panic worsened Lilian yet stood still. I then looked at her and could have sworn her feet were dry but the revelation was underpinned by rationale---im~ fuckin~ possible.
Thinking to myself I have to become more responsible I listened for Ciaran's cry, the phone had stopped ringing but lit up again, a voicemail was left and its notification had come in. There was only one thing to do, break the window but I knew it was dangerous to break it and try to climb inside. I was nearing a breakdown, the childbirth wasn't shit compared to what could possibly occur if I didn't get help! I thought back to my younger days and hoped the voices would let me enjoy my children.
Everyday I focused on turning over a new leaf and thought about the people who had come into my life temporarily; even Kerri, as well as the lives of those I had shortened.
At wits end and ready to explode I pressed the thumb latch while beating on the door and fell into the foyer, TJ2 stood at it's entrance.
Hell no.
Screaming, I asked though the tears that wet my face with the rain from my head whether he locked or unlocked the front door. "Binky" he said.
Tempted to tell Lilian to come back later, I finally thought against it and said come inside but leave the sandals beside the door. She seemed so out of place, just standing in the middle of Lowerline. I looked at Ciaran who was pacified but searching for me as my voice carried. I was soaking wet as Lilian was---I told her I had dry shoes and clothes since she appeared to be exactly my size. Noticing her bare feet which now looked wet, I paid attention to the tattoo around her ankle that looked tribal and admired it without making mention of it. My attempt at profiling her was void, I just couldn't figure her out but passive she seemed while she looked around the home as if she was unaccustomed to the finer things. Furthermore, that made me wonder why she was even in the neighborhood, "Were u dropped off?" I asked while walking toward the stairs.
"Yes," she replied. "I once lived close by."
Oh, well---See Hazel, u cant judge a book by its cover.
I looked in on the boys they were asleep, Deuce had on his shoes...
While I took off the dress I remembered the day my husband purchased it and wondered why I held on to what we had---not even considering his son. Of all the people I'd encountered I had married the most perplexed.
I lifted the robe from the back of my bedroom door but saw the monogrammed robe I'd taken from Martin's closet hanging underneath. I was convinced it belonged to Carlita, Trenton's ex but why was it at Martin's home? Not giving it much thought I closed the closet door to hurry back to my children downstairs with the stranger. Grabbing a set of plaid pajamas from the drawer and a pair of socks I returned to see Lilian now standing in front of the window looking at the chaotic wind and rain we'd just come inside out of.
Preparing to give her the clothes I made my presence known by asking was the rain still falling, she turned and said "hardly."
I knew damn well it was raining cats and dogs but was somehow glad to have company and had been so alone for months. There were bitches more fucked up than I was but the ache in my heart would not subside for Troy and each day I was closer to being stone fucking crazy.
Feeling sorry for her but also hoping she would explain why she was out in the rain I asked if she'd eaten. She had no belongings at all.
She asked for fruit as if she'd known the kitchen was full of various kinds---I'd even bought Jackfruit and expensive grapes which I could not even taste. I pointed toward the Jack and Jill bathroom before embracing my baby boy. I loved him regardless to what anyone said.
Still confused, I wondered why Troy had called again, was something wrong? I picked up the phone to see he'd called in fact, but earlier at 3:13 before Alexander had come---it was now 5:50 and approaching dark. Surely the phone had awakened the baby! I saw it glow!
Lilian had gone into the bathroom to change into dry clothes, I hadn't wanted to seem more disturbed then I already had at the front door. Nothing could convince me that damn door hadn't been locked and my 2 year old had locked it! That's just all it was to it! I told the voices at a low tone "not today".
As I'd guessed, she and I were the same size.
Remembering my friend Karma would sometimes bring a smile to my lips but our dealings had been cut short long before---and I knew she was only my friend because she was paid to be. We had nothing in common, she was well off and I was just a peasant. I must say though, I'd learned well from every situation.
When she returned from the bathroom, I reminded her about the fruit, but she'd changed her mind and now seemed somewhat disturbed.
I visualised the boys and I getting into the Ford Explorer I'd purchased and taking her home, something in me wouldn't allow me to let her leave walking in the rain, it didn't seem the weather would calm anytime soon. Awkwardly, TJ2 raised his head as she walked past him to sit on the chaise, but his expression was unsettling.
Her fascination for seeing me breastfeed Ciaran impeded my intentions to inquire of her current situation but voluntarily she spoke about the thrill of doing the same and reminisced. Soon I asked, "Do u want a job? I have 4 boys---I need help, five hundred a week."
Maybe she needs a friend too, I thought.
"Yes," she answered.
The rain continued, I told her to make herself at home. She insisted on walking home after the rain but it was now dark.
There was something about the way TJ2 had lifted his head and watched Lilian walk to the chaise that day, I should have taken heed.
Troy mentioned Martin having many homes, I hadn't known where to look or what the fuck to even look for but knew where he'd lived on Saint Charles it was geographically impossible to live that high up in New Orleans. The home had been designed to sit up in a hill in a city below sea level, so had the one I'd purchased.