Cliches Don't Work On Me! Probably CDWOM P

What's most men's dream is actually my nightmare.
Being the only handsome single white dude in the country town in Thailand I live in SUCKS.
I bought some land far outside of Bangkok and I own an apartment complex. Naturally, I live in one of the apartments. A college was built nearby the town and a lot of college kids that somehow made it needed a place to stay.
Right when it was finished though...
A flock of soon to be college kids move with their roommates and come to my half empty complex...
Most of which are Freshman and Sophomore girls. Great. Most 23 year old men would be absolutely ecstatic about this...
Let's just say I wish I could speak more languages than Thai so I could move. Why did my parents not teach me English?
Eh with my complex I probably wouldn't be able to move anyway. I've lived in Thailand my whole life.
Why did my parents' retirement plans ruin me.
Also why did they only speak to me in Thai.