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7.4% Dragon Ball Z: Self Insert / Chapter 2: Starting of Canon

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Chapter 2: Starting of Canon

Chapter 2

Starting of Canon

And so, the days passed, until it was the 1st of September, Age 749.

The day I was waiting for the last decade arrived at last, in the form of Bulma driving, the car. I was practicing my katas when I heard the unmistakable voice of an engine. I sensed a person driving her car at high speed despite the fact that this was a mountain road. I instantly knew that the canon has started and so I calm my breath and prepared my mind for the whirlwind adventure. A grin formed on my face by just thinking about it.

I also stopped my practice to enjoy the show. Now only if I had popcorn, it would have been amazing. On one hand, I could stop it but meh…. Even I need some entertainment from my boring and dull life. Moreover, this would be enough payback for all those times when Goku angered me but I could not o anything about it. I conveniently forgot the times when I beat Goku in our spars.

From the corner of my eye, I saw Goku hauling a large fish when he got hit by a fast-moving car. Goku and the fish went flying. Goku easily got up and became scared after seeing the car, mistaking it for a beast whereas Bulma sighed in relief when she noticed him alive.

"Y….You surprised me" She exclaimed.

Now Goku was angry. He said "You evil beast! You are trying to steal my food, aren't you?"

I had to stifle a laugh when he mistook the car for a beast. Damn, I had watched this episode in my previous life many times, but seeing it live was totally another experience.

Now the car looked really heavy and even Goku had a hard time lifting it

"Gugugig..! I won't let you get away with that," He said and with that Goku lifted the car and threw it away.

It landed a few meters away. 2 tires of the car instantly came away while its body pummeled. I winced as Bulma let out a shriek and moaned probably in pain when the car hit the ground. I probably should have warned Goku, but for the 'sake' of the canon, I didn't. Plus it was hilarious. I couldn't believe I was watching the scene play out.

As Bulma started crawling out of her damaged car, Goku pulled out his Power Pole from his back and challenged the 'beast'

"If you want my food, come and fight me," He said. I let loose another laugh at that.

Bulma came out of the car and angrily exclaimed, "How dare you monster?"

My jaw dropped. The show hadn't done her justice. Or maybe it was different seeing her in real life rather than as a cartoon. Or maybe puberty was striking fast and hard on my 13-year-old body. Actually, I don't know what actually my exact age is as it is never mentioned in the canon. It gets all confusing too. We just celebrate our birthday on October 1. So according to that, we were actually 12 years and 11 months old.

In any case, I couldn't look away. Her skin was flawless, her hair was the most dazzling shade of blue braided as a ponytail, and her legs went on forever. Even in her dress, her figure was breathtaking. I haven't seen a girl in a year. Last time my body wasn't responding that much by seeing a female. Does it mean puberty has already arrived? I unconsciously moved in her direction.

When he saw Bulma, Goku was really surprised "Huh? There's a weird goblin coming out of the beast". It took me out of my musing and sent me into another frenzy of laughter.

Bulma heard that and came out guns blazing and firing at him. Which brought to question how a sixteen-year-old gets a gun in this world? Well, it was probably the perk of being rich. Since I realized she was going to shoot, I dodged the bullets in my way and kicked the gun out of her dainty hands. Still, Goku got hit by a stray bullet. It didn't do anything other than causing him some pain.

"What was that? Black goblin magic?!" Goku said ignorantly, holding his head in pain.

Bulma was clearly surprised by us, as I was able to dodge the bullets and Goku had tough skin that even bullet couldn't penetrate. "Yikes! What are you guys? How aren't you dead? How did you dodge those bullets and kick the gun out of my hand?" Bulma said properly shocked.

"I just can move faster than your mere bullets," I said flatly.

Goku got up now quite angry, "Don't be stupid! I'd never die that easy. My body is as hard as steel"

"And you would have two kids' dead at your hand, so you should be glad we're alive," I said seriously, noticing how she could have killed 2 normal kids.

"Now foul demon, prepare to die! Baali, let's end this evil goblin!" He said raising his Power Pole.

Before he could strike her, I used my hand to block his attack. I hid a wince when the power pole connected my hand. Goku wasn't pulling any punches "Goku, you dunce! She's not a goblin. She's human" I said

Bulma was nodding rapidly, hoping she wasn't going to end up dead.

I turned to Bulma and said, "You should consider yourSelf lucky that we can resist and dodge your bullets. If any of it had managed to hurt us, I would have had to hurt you in return" I seriously said leaking a little killing intent hoping she would understand the gravity of the situation. She nodded rapidly. Her face was white as snow.

I sighed and stopped leaking killing intent, feeling bad about threatening a teen but I wanted to nip it in a bud. "Let this be a lesson to you, lady. Those who threaten violence will often be met with violence. Had you pulled that act with anyone else with our skills, you'd likely be in very big trouble right now"

She gulped. "Umm…. Yeah! Sorry about that. Thanks for not killing me or anything" She said feeling relieved

"Human…? Is it really a human?" Goku said curiously still digesting the fact that she was human.

Bulma was confused at his question "Isn't it obvious? Have a good look! See" She said emphasizing her chest.

'Oh, I have every intention of 'seeing' her' I thought lecherously, my anger gone in an instant. Find authorized novels in Webnovel, faster updates, better experience, Please click <a href=""></a> for visiting.

Bulma was around 5'5 in height. She wore the same dress as the canon. An orange dress on which BULMA was written in blue capital letters, the frock which barely covered her butt and left her long legs open to see, blue sneakers and purple socks. She had a red ribbon on her head too. All in all, she was cute, in the process of becoming a sexy girl.

Goku seems to be curious as he moves around her, zipping around and looking about.

"Forget about me are you two even human?" She asked called out snapping me out of my daze. I quickly regained my cool, fighting down certain… physical reactions so I wouldn't embarrass mySelf.

"Of course we are" Goku replied "You don't seem like me and Baali. You are soft and weak-looking"

"Of Course I am a delicate girl"/ "Of Course Goku, she is a girl" Bulma and I said to him simultaneously.

Goku had mild surprise on his face and Bulma was relieved. However, she looked mad at me for not telling him sooner.

"Oh! I've never seen a human before other than Baali and my grandpa" Goku said distracting Bulma. When she looked at me, I waved my hand "Hey don't look at me, I used to go to the village with Grandpa. I know how a girl looks. Only Goku is so ignorant. Even though he has already seen a girl, he probably doesn't remember it"

I thought lecherously the first day I went with Grandpa Gohan, to the nearby village town which was actually quite far. We were just 4-5 years old. It was just a year and a few months after I woke up in this world. Grandpa didn't want to leave us behind feeling we will injure ourselves. He wasn't wrong though.

On that day I learned that chicks really dig at cute kids. I took full advantage of that day, groping and taking a feel of every woman I came across. Grandpa was so humiliated at the end of the day. He had to apologize to half a dozen women. Women were totally ignorant of my wandering hands. They just looked at my cute face and became mesmerized by it. I was so busy in the memory that I missed half of the next conversation.

He later learned of my lecherous nature when I was some 7-8 years old. He was always confused about how I got so perverted when he wasn't.

"My grandpa always said if I ever met a girl, I should be nice to her" Goku said taking me out of my thoughts

Bulma said winking at us "That sounds like good advice. See?! You have got to be nice to me now!"

"That only applies to nice girls, not ones that try to kill you," I said with extreme sarcasm in my tone.

"So you both live with your Grandpa then?" She asked changing the subject. I raised my eyebrow at the blatant change in the subject. It was not subtle at all. Who does she think, she is fooling. I then remembered 13-year-old boys are not that attentive. Even Goku can be easily distracted. And we looked like fucking 9-10-year-olds.

Goku became depressed at hearing her question. I answered in his stead.

"Grandpa just died some time ago. We don't talk about it" I said in a somber voice.

Thankfully Bulma had some tact as she didn't ask to elaborate.

In the meantime Goku became curious. He used his power pole to hike up Bulma's skirt to see if she had a tail. Bulma scolded him for doing that, screaming she doesn't have a tail. It really reminded me how much a jerk Bulma can be at times. Still, it was funny when Goku said ignorantly "Girls don't even have tails?"

This time I was able to control my laugh and said "No Goku they don't. But let's treat her as a guest anyway" and after that I turned to Bulma "C'mon, let's get you some food" I said with a smile.

I told Goku to haul the fish. In the meantime, Bulma remarked how lame Goku was for wearing a fake tail. I usually keep my tail under my clothes wrapping it around my waist so she didn't know that I had a tail. While I would have agreed with her if it was true but it wasn't. Still, it doesn't mean I had to listen to her making fun of my little brother.

"You know I heard that" I snapped at her. She shut up at once.

Goku agreed to eat while Bulma remarked, once more opening her big mouth "As long as that's all you do…"

"Hmph! pervert" I muttered under my breath.

"Did that beast catch you or something?" Goku asked naively starting a conversation for which I was grateful. I hated awkward silences.

"That wasn't a beast. It was a car" She replied back

"I heard about cars from grandpa but this is what they look like? They look great but they are weak!" He remarked

"You both are very strong for someone so tiny," She remarked back.

I felt a little bit insulted by that comment but naïve Goku replied proudly anyway "Grandpa trained us from an early age. Oh! If you were riding that car, are you from the city?" He excitedly asked her.

She smiled at us thinking about something. I knew she was thinking of using us but if my plans worked it will be the other way around. I definitely won't hesitate to use this to my advantage.

"Yeah, anyways are you both Twins?" She asked as we were making our way to the house.

"You only took so little time to notice that. Can't you guess it by yourSelf?" I asked her with my voice dripping with sarcasm. Bulma's eyes twitched at hearing my comment although she controlled herself much to surprise. I was really surprised by that. I didn't know she could control any of her emotions.

It wasn't so difficult to see the similarities between Goku and me. I had a little bit less baby fat than Goku. Sure he trained but he did the bare minimum whereas I worked my ass off. How do you think I became so strong? I and Goku together could keep up with Grandpa Gohan when we spared for the last time. But only when, we both teamed up against him. Still, I knew he never fought with full strength and probably went easy on us. But we made it difficult for him to go easy as I definitely didn't pull any punches.

Either that or his age was catching up to him. Now I just sparred with Goku as an exercise. Yes, you heard it correct I was quite a bit more strong than Goku. If I had to guess, I would be between 45 and 50 if Goku was 42 (according to the canon). Then again maybe Goku was stronger than his canon counter-part because of my meddling.

I was only an inch taller than Goku with a diagonal scar on my left cheek that was present from the start since I got in this world. According to Grandpa Gohan, I got that scar when I fell in a ravine with Goku. I was already certain that it was also the time I got reincarnated in this body.

It was approximately 18 months ago when Grandpa died. In these 18 months, Goku has driven me mad. I tried to convince him that 4 Star Dragon Ball was not grandpa but he would not listen to me. Apparently, the first thing he found on the day after his rampage was that dragon ball. He was convinced that Grandpa's soul somehow transferred into that orb. He made a pedestal for the Dragon ball even when I tried to convince him otherwise.

In the end, I admitted defeat and let him be. Just this morning he told the ball that he was going to go to catch some food. The ball even glowed.

I was hoping that it meant it was the start of the canon but I didn't put my hopes up. The brat even told me that it was a sign of Grandpa talking to us.


It was another day on Mount Paozu. Goku and I were chopping woods after cutting it from a large tree. We trained a bit after that. Knowing that our stomach will make itSelf known soon, I ended the spar, even if I wanted to fight more. Goku was just going hunting some game after grabbing his Power Pole. We had an accord. Whenever he would hunt, I would cook it and vice versa.

Still most of the time he would hunt as I cooked tastier food, the secret was just ingredients. I used some spices whereas he didn't.

He joined his hand and said after bowing to the dragon ball "Grandpa I am going to catch some food"

That's when the Dragon Ball glowed and while Goku thought it was his grandpa speaking to him. I knew it could mean the start of the canon but I wasn't so optimistic. Still, there was a part of me that wanted it to be true. In truth, I have gotten very bored from living in the wilderness with only Goku as company. I wanted some adventure in my life.

"Baali, Grandpa's speaking to us! What do you think he's saying?" Goku asked turning to me.

I thought of what to say until "Maybe it's the call of destiny today" slips out of my mouth.

"Wow, really! Well, we could go get something to eat then, huh?" Goku said innocently enough. I don't think he even understood the meaning of the sentence.

I decided against joining him on his way to the forest. I knew Bulma could be coming and considered what was going to happen. If Bulma showed up while we both were away, it would derail the canon so I remained there.

A smirk crawled up my face as I could play this to my own advantage. Now if Goku is the pure-hearted hero, I was the classical anti-hero in a sense. I was basically a nicer Vegeta with the perverted streak greater than Master Roshi. Ironic considering everything…

Flashback ends

While I was thinking to mySelf, Bulma took out a circular device which I remember being a Dragon Radar. I came out of my musing when I heard her muttering "…hen their power will come in real handy, even if one of them is weird"

Goku being naïve asked "What's wrong? Don't you want to eat the food? Big Bro makes really tasty food"

"I am coming. But no funny business" She replied snootily.

"Funny business..? What is that?" He asked innocently.

A blush came upon Bulma "Well you know… That's right! This is the first time he has seen a girl so he doesn't know anything about that!" She muttered the last part to herself. Even a weird smile came upon Bulma when she realized that. I also realized she was making fun of him.

I coughed loudly to make my presence known "Whereas 'he doesn't know anything about that' I know enough" I answered lecherously knowing I will get a treat if everything goes according to the plan. Bulma just huffed at my answer muttering about little perverts.

"You sure are weird. Oh well, follow me" Goku made his presence known once again.

"By the way what are your names?" She asked once again walking to the hut.

"My name is 'Son Goku' and my big brother is 'Son Baali'. What about you" Goku answered before I could say anything

I never knew the name that was given to me on planet Vegeta. I could have found out about it but the name Gohan came up with was quite good. 'Baali' was the previous king of the 'Vaanar' race in Hindu Mythology before Sugriv dethroned him. It suited me just fine.

(For readers who don't know 'Vaanar', it was a race which is a hybrid of human and monkey. They even had super strength, the power to fly, etc. Fitting I suppose)

"Eh! Me? It's Bulma" She mumbled as she was reluctant to give her name.

"Bulma! Haha, that's a funny name" Goku said while laughing. A smile also cracked on my face remembering that it meant 'girls gym clothes'. Basically, all of the 'Brief Family' has names that are puns on underclothes.

"That's why I didn't wanna tell you" She replied getting pissed off. Still, Goku kept mocking her and laughing his ass off.

"Look I don't like it either, you know" She replied but when Goku didn't stop laughing she loudly proclaimed "What an annoying kid. That's why I hate kids" as we soon arrived at the old hut.

"What do you expect when your name just means 'gym shorts' for girls," I told her with a smile on my face. Bulma's face became beet red at my comment. Maybe she didn't expect me to know the meaning of her name.

Goku immediately dropped the giant fist and ran up inside the hut to the Dragon Ball saying, "Grandpa, Look! We brought a human female home with us!"

I entered with him while Bulma was behind us. I saw the 4 star Dragon ball glowing. Goku stopped in front of it "G-Grandpa's talking" He sounded shocked

I noticed Bulma getting confused "I thought you said your Grandpa was dead"

Bulma seemed puzzled until she saw the Dragon Ball. She threw Goku away who was in the way while going for the dragon ball. Snatching it up, she proclaimed it was the dragon ball, the radar worked, and all that crap. Goku immediately confronted her saying it was the last memento of Grandpa and took it from her hand. What am I to say about that? It played like a normal canon event.


Day 1

9 am: Bulma came into the picture.


Power levels:

Bulma: 04

Goku: 43; Oozaru Form: Height and Power x10 (430)

Baali: 48; Oozaru Form: Height and Power x10 (480)

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