I was Kidnapped by a Goblin Emperor KBE

It had never occurred to me that I would be the subject of a kidnapping.

Correction, the subject of a nonhuman kidnapping.

Goodness gracious! No, no no!

I am not the nonhuman I speak of. Very much a homo sapian… unless my mother dearest has been hiding that secret from me my entire eighteen years of life.

Mere hours ago, I would have chortled most unpleasantly if you had told me of future me’s current circumstances. Golly what a laugh that would have been.

Oh, where to start?

Right, right, right. From the beginning then.

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