Kenny was feeling bad after having that conversation with her brother. Toby might be joking all the time, doing pranks of the people at home, or might be a naughty boy but she would've never expected for him to shove it to her face without even feeling sorry. After all, she's still the second eldest in the family. And Toby should be disciplined. However, she did tried doing that a lot of times in the past, but to no avail. Her parents spoiled him too much and she is in no place to reprimand or punish him further. She's always cutoff in the process.
After Kenny stormed out the house, she went directly to her Grandma's garden, and found an empty one-sitter metal chair. Nobody is around at this moment, which a good place to hide and calm herself down.
There she was deep in thought despite the sadness she's feeling in her heart. Work? Marriage? These are the things that's bothering me. She is in dire need to move forward. What was really holding her back? Her mind is ready. But what about her heart? This complicated woman cannot even understand herself at times.
After sometime, Kenny felt something vibrated on her side, snapping her off her reverie. Her phone lights up. Seeing the caller ID, she heaved a sigh before pressing the green button. "Hi! What's up?" Kenny forced a smile, suppressing her feelings.
Mamie was riding a PUJ going to her workplace at the moment. She took out her phone and dialed her best friend's number. She knew that Kenny won't open messages not unless it's between life and death, and not to mention it'll take her a week before she replies. Even if one would try to message her in FB, it'll be futile.
Kenny has really changed since then and even if they've known each other for far too long, Martha feels like Kenny is not completely honest with her, hiding a lot of things from her, despite being all smiles whenever they meet.
Martha really knows Kenny, and can see through her facade, though they didn't see each other frequently in contrast when they were still in high school, years ago.
"I'm just checking out on you. It has been days since the last time we saw each other. You didn't even bother opening you Messenger, or care to call me. Though I know you are not busy at all." Martha looked out the open window, feeling the comfort of the cold air of the morning ride. "Are you busy?"
"Oh no. I'm not. Just the usual stuff...you know." Kenny, in an awkward happy tone, replied. At least, this momentarily distraction shifted her attention. "Uhm, Martha ho--" But before she could continue talking, Martha cut her off.
"Kendra, just drop the act." Martha has seen through the facade of the person on the other line. "We've been friends for God knows how long. Though we're not real sisters by blood, you and I have connections like real sisters do."
"If you have things to share, share it now... or if you have something you are carrying in your heart, then tell me. I know you are not okay even if you keep telling me that you are. Who are you even fooling? Even if I am there, I could right away tell you are keeping things from me. I'm not dumb not to even notice."
"We are a family."
Kenny felt like crying after hearing Martha say it over the phone. At this point, she really needs someone to talk to so she could let go of these pent-up feelings of despair, disappointments, anger, sadness, and loneliness.
The immense longing of understanding she wanted from her family, Martha has given it to her willingly. It's really a blessing from above to have such a person you can call a family.
"Thank you, Martha. Thank...you for always being there for me. I-I feel so guilty about being an absent friend for you. Sometimes I think, I-I am not even worthy for this blessing." Kenny's voice cracked, tears rolling from her eyes. Although, Martha can't see her current appearance, it's understandable that her friend is having difficulty, with all the pressure she's giving herself.
"You've got snot all over." Martha joked, which lighten Kendra's mood. And Kendra wiped her tears, smiling.
"So, now, do you mind telling me what's wrong?" Martha queried again. This time she sounded like a big sister. Her workplace is an hour's ride from their place, so it is of no big deal if they talk longer.
"Wait, for a while Kenny. Don't hang up." Martha took out money and passed it along the row of people ahead. "Fare for 1. Mega Mall. Thanks." Kenny could hear that Martha is on her way to work, as she is now riding a jeep and paying her fare. Honks, people shouting, and people chattering can be heard, too.
"You're an early bird, you know." Kenny said just as Martha got back.
"If I don't, then they'll take away my end-of-the-year bonus for punctuality." Martha chuckled. "So, getting back, what was wrong back then? What happened?"
Kenny shifted her sitting position, cross-legged. For a while, she felt hesitant, but after a moment, she told Martha what had transpired. "I felt so awful, Martha. It's depressing that even though they are my blood relatives, I could never feel the warmth." Kenny said after she finished telling her friend.
"It's just like they say, Kenny--a house is not a home." As for Martha, she is indeed sorry for Kenny. Her dignity was trampled by her brother. Although, this is not unusual for her anymore, and knowing Kenny, a proud person, who often conceals it, this is what she fears about --being misunderstood, unheard.
So, she could only say it to her, "Trivial things don't matter. What matters is that, you have a great concern for your family. They are just blind, or they are just refusing to acknowledge those little things you do. Focus on yourself first, healing and redeeming your esteem. You have to learn how to free yourself from the burden inside you so you can stand up and move forward in life."
"And another thing, Kendra, don't bite back when a dog is only barking at you. Keep in mind that God is watching. He is just and merciful. Don't waste your precious time, or else you'll loose 10 young years of your life."
"I'm always here for you, Kenny. Give me a call sometimes. Or if you worry about money, there's a free way and that is to use your FB Messenger."
"Sure Martha. I'm feeling okay now. If not for you, I would've shut myself up again in my room."
Then, they bid each other goodbyes.
Author's block again. :(
Like what they say, "Words don't come easy." :(
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