"Be foolish in love because love is all there is."
It's been a month since I thought about quitting this job and looking for another job.
But an alternative work has not been thought of. I thought that later, with time I will definitely find another job.
Actually there is a plan to open a small coffee shop. The plan was for me to sell coffee and brownies instead. No hassle but not bad for attracting customers because I see that there are no shops selling brownies here yet. I don't know .. Maybe because Japanese people are not used to eating brownies. Maybe.
I still remember from childhood I had dreams of wanting to have a coffee shop and brownies. The shop will sell all kinds of brownies and kinds of hot and cold coffee. And the interior must be made homey so that customers feel comfortable when they're drinking coffee at my coffee shop.
There will be lots of greenery there. Because I like plants. I want the tavern. It's white. All in white. The fence, the walls, the floor, the chairs, the tables and the rest of the equipment were all white. Except for spoons and forks of course.
I also started thinking about going back to university or something. Looks like my current savings are enough to pay for my school and my brothers.
I thought I could run a coffee shop while in college.
Since I was involved in "unclear relationship" with Kazuya, I was a little reluctant to accept this job.
To be honest, I was unable to serve my customers. Because of the feelings I have for Kazuya. This is a consequence that must be accepted. Maybe it's time like this.
If there is a chance I would like to have a discussion with my two younger brothers. About this thing. Maybe tomorrow morning. Tomorrow is Saturday. Weekend and they are off.
"Good morning Ryu ..."
"Good morning Ritsu .."
"Good morning, onechan!"
"So excited today huh .." said Ritsu.
Ryo just smiled and started to take his breakfast. This morning is a good day to talk about it, I thought.
We sat and had breakfast together.
"Hey Ryu .. Ritsu .. I'm thinking of quitting my job."
"Uh, all of a sudden ," said Ritsu.
Ryu, "If you think it's better. Why not. For both of us, whatever you do is good for us, nechan."
"Then what are your plans for the future?" Asked Ritsu.
"Listen, it's not final yet, I'm planning to open a coffee shop around our home area. I saw at the crossroads there is a shop that will be rented out. I've seen it several times but haven't met the owner. Because I thought I should talk to you and Kazuya first. "
"Kazuya ??" Ryu and Ritsu.
"Oh .. Kazuya is my boss. I think I should talk to him right? If I want to quit this job?"
They nodded in agreement.
"Then what do we want to sell at the shop, nechan?"
"I plan that we will sell kinds of cold and hot coffees, as well as kinds of brownies. It's simple. Don't bother too much. Because I'm also planning to go to college. I want to continue my life better now. Because I think, our savings are more than sufficient at this point. "
"Whatever your decision, nechan. We will support you 100%! We want you to be happy and start thinking about yourself," said Ryu.
Ritsu: "I'll help out at the shop, nechan."
"Okay. That means the decision is final huh. We will open a coffee shop together. Cheer up !!"
Then I told them about the details of the coffee shop.
Tomorrow I will meet Kazuya.
So happy ....
"Can we meet, today, Kazuya san? There's something I want to talk. "
"Okay. I will be free at 4 o clock this afternoon. In my house. "
I arrived there at 4 o clock.
Kazuya opened the door for me when I pressed the bell 1 time. Ah, he was waiting for me.
"Don't get over yourself, Momose!! I'm warning you!" myself said.
"Please.. Come in. "
"Thank you.. "
"What do you want to talk to me about?" Asked Kazuya while handing me a cup of tea.
"I want to quit my job."
"What a sudden decision!! What's wrong?"
"Nothing special. Just want to stop. I plan to continue my studies to university and open a small coffee shop near my house."
"Oh, it's fine if you want it like that. I've always wanted to tell you to continue your school. Because I thought, it's a shame a young girl like you doesn't go to school.
Tell me about your plan. "
Then I tell him the details.
And it was the end of everything.
I remember that day. When I told him to resign from my job. It has been 6 months ago. After I told him about my plan to have a small coffee shop and back to study, then we spent our time together in Kazuya house. When he asked me to come over.
He kissed me and touched me so gently like he always does.
Able to make me feel like a princess. Able to make me feel so comfortable. And able to get me fly to heaven.
He kissed, touched and hold me tight.
I'm drowning deeper and deeper with this emotion. But I also like I'm flying to heaven.
I heard Kazuya calling my name :
"Momose.. Momose.. "
And I hold him tight.. I feel I don't wanna loose him. I wanna be with him always and forever, I closed my eyes and I whispered :
"I love you.. I love you so much. "
And I made a big mistake!
I feel Kazuya freezing. His face.. Burned .. But it's not because he's so embarrassed or something like that. I feel an anger.
And I opened my eyes. Yes he seemed so confused.
He said :
"Why, Momose? Why? You should not love me.. I cannot love you back. "
Straight to the point!
Piercing my heart! Penetrating my heart !!
He get up and dressed up.
Go out onto the balcony.
And feel I was drowning in hell. Something carried me into the darkness.
I cried. I thought I'm done. I'm so ashamed.
What have I done?
I should have never confessed to him.
End the story of my love before it develops.
I get up and dressed up. I tried to keep my tears from falling.
Better home early before it getting worse. And I go back home without saying a word to Kazuya. It's really hurt. I cannot effort, it hurts me so much. I cannot face him.
That time. The first time I got home with tears.
Thanks God, my brothers have slept.
I lay in pain on my bed. Unbearable pain. Why?
I think he had the same feelings as me. But I was wrong!
Why does it hurt like this?
I curl up, hugging my legs. Cry...
Trying to release all the burdens. Why is it this pain?
Oh, what have I done? What have I done. I shouldn't tell him about my feelings.
What should I do now.
God help me. It's really hurt.
If I could turn back the time. I will correct my mistakes and choose not to confess my love for her.
But it's too late now. Better not regret it. And started to move on. I should get up and face this feeling.
Falling in love with him it's not a crime. Better to face it. And let time heals all wounds.
And I took my sadness out by concentrating on my studies and the doings of our coffee shop.
I studied hard and worked so hard.