Chapter 13: The dark abyss

Are you really okay with that? Did you see this? Did you see my failure coming my way? Did you know the weight of your lies? Why did you tell me to fight if you are okay with this outcome? This outcome of Failure I don't want this outcome but I'm so tired of fighting the truth and letting the lies give me false hope. Your lies gave me empty faith. Only now i can see my true outcome . You knew i was not strong enough, So what was the point of telling me to fight? To reach out to faith and give it all my hope. I'm wasting my breath right now standing here, right in front of you, wanting answers when I knew these answers will not fix this flame that is now blazing with anger, for once the flame is not just simmering in its own ashes, I can feel the heat, it's burning me. This anger has made me feel more alive than your lies ever have. So why am I so angry if I'm okay with it? Maybe because it won't matter in the long run. I won't ever feel like this again, I won't feel a thing and I'm not okay with that but I am not strong enough to keep fighting this outcome of failure but today I stand in front of you asking for one more lie. Even if it doesn't matter, I just want to remember the sweet lies and not the bitter truth. I can't take it. I can't let that flame burn out so please just one more let me believe the lies that give me empty faith. Let me try to fill the emptiness of that faith, please For once i am fighting this outcome since I know you won't be there for me, you never were, it's so tiring but that empty faith is like bright light that you follow in the dark hoping for the day you are pull out of that darkness. And there you will be standing there waiting for me But i know that is just a lie. I know I will forever follow that bright light in the dark as it dims into the dark abyss of the truth, until it blends in the dark and I can't find it anymore. I will stand there in the void until I am found. Sucks when I know it's not you. But someone will come If only I can fight through this tar until i find that  light that will shine the brightest that light will tell me, Keep fighting I'll be here for you, That light, that's why I put all my hope in the emptiness, praying for that light So please one more lie.