—
I poked at my bow tie and watched in fascination as it spun around. Dear lord. My bow tie was a fidget spinner. How did this even happen?
I'm embarrassed to say that I was distracted for a good few minutes just spinning my bow tie. But time is an illusion anyway so it doesn't count. What was I doing again? Oh right. I had to go introduce myself to the new sentient life in this universe. The AXOLOTL said I was free to do as I wished, I did technically create this reality after all, and I think I would like to introduce a friendly Bill Cipher into the world.
For a moment I considered going by a different name all together. I'm not the real Bill Cipher anyway. I don't HAVE to take his name. The only reason I still look like him is because his appearance was cool and I wasn't sure if changing it would vastly alter the timeline. Didn't want Time Baby getting on my angles about that again. Stupid, fat, no fun...
ANYWAY! You'd think the baby would show a bit more respect for the one who created the Big Bang itself! I lost my home for that. My entire dimension had to die and burn just to create the known universe. Did I ever get compensation for that? Nope. (Pseudo godhood doesn't count.) Time Baby even had the GALL to sass me out about destroying my own dimension. It's not like I did it on purpose asshole! And you even said it was fated to happen in order to create the universe so fuck you! You mother fucking hypocrite! You can't tell me that what I did was wrong then go around and say I was MEANT to do that!
No wonder Bill hated him. Pretentious jerk.
Ax is a pretty cool dude though. His holier than thou thing was kinda…eh…annoying somewhat? But it was nice of him to teach me how to control my powers. I wonder if he might have destroyed a whole dimension by accident before...
Well enough procrastinating. Time to meet the first living creature to evolve in this new universe I'd accidentally created.
--
Yeah. Shouldn't have gotten my hopes up.
The tiny single celled organism wiggled. It was really strange. All the molecules that made up this creature came from me. I could feel our connection even now. It felt really gross. All…fleshy and disgusting.
It's going to take eons for life to evolve humans or any other sentient life. Hell, the Earth hasn't even formed yet. I'm so bored. No wonder Ax just sleeps all the time. Y'know what? I'm gonna go visit him. It'll give me something to do. I turn and vanish with a flash.
--
-You really are different from the other Bill Ciphers. But at the same time, you're quite similar.-
"In what way? Also, when are you gonna teach me how to see into the parallel worlds?"
We floated together above a nebula. It was quite pretty and I felt a brief flash of pride about it. I had materialized a nice tea set for us to enjoy while we hung out. Molding things from my imagination was one of the first things I learned to do and it is fuckin' AMAZING. Ax never drank any but I can see he appreciates the gesture.
-You share many mannerisms with your counter parts. Some are your own and some are fabricated by you to act more like what you believe Bill Cipher should be.-
I look down at my teacup. Yes, part of me wanted to be Bill. It was fun to act like him sometimes. It gave me an excuse to cut loose and not think about everything wrong with my situation. Like a persona I can wear to protect the real me from the outside world. So I don't have to think about what happened…
I wasn't in denial or anything. I just wanted to not stress out. Too many things could go wrong, have already gone wrong. I'm supposed to be Bill Cipher. How much of human history did he effect? Do I have to do what he did? What if I messed up and humanity goes down a completely different path that lead to the Pines family not existing? Do they need to exist? Me being here has already thrown off canon. But that fixed point still happened regardless of anything I did. Are the birth of the twins a fixed point? I hope so. I would love to hang out with them all. If I'm a nice Bill we could all be friends. That would be nice.
-You are thinking too hard. Things will happen as they do.-
"Was I thinking out loud again?"
-Yes. Though it was more of a panicked mumbling.-
Looking to steer the subject away from my embarrassing loss of control, I changed the subject.
"So. Parallel dimensions. How to see. Tell me."
-It might not be wise. Many of your alternates are...unhinged in a negative way. So long as you do not look into them, they cannot see you. I fear they may try to harm you for being...different. Or their madness will corrupt you.-
"That's fair."
We floated in quiet together. It was nice.
---
Ax taught me how slip between dimensions. I couldn't access the parallel dimensions where my alternatives were but anything else was pretty much fair game. It's a little hard to describe. Within this 'world' there are an infinite dimensions I can go to. Outside of this 'world' are the other 'worlds' with their own infinite dimensions where the alternate versions of 'Me' exists. Meaning I cannot travel to an alternative world to meet an alternative version of people I know in this 'world'. In the infinite dimensions in this 'world', there is only one Bill Cipher, AXOLOTL and Time Baby.
Ax is connected to his alternatives mentally but even he cannot physically travel to where they are. Once again, the only thing that can accomplish this feat was an inter-dimensional portal. The portal can connect all the dimensions in this world but it can also punch through into other 'worlds'. That's what made it so amazing. I knew how to build one, sort of? There's an instinctive feeling inside me that just seems to…KNOW how to find the weak spots in the fabric of reality. Mechanically speaking I knew half of what I needed to make a gate of my own. But it would only work for me if it was built where my physical body was, in other words, the 3rd dimension. But that's not important right now, what IS important is the existence of an infinite other dimensions for me to explore.
In all the other dimensions within my 'World' there were a multitude of alien races, planets and societies. All sorts of creatures that I can physically interact with even outside the mindscape. Only in the 3rd dimension that formed from the corpse of my own body and home was limited. In the 3rd dimension I was a non-corporeal creature without the power to truly warp reality to my will unless I use the power of a Deal. But within all the other dimensions I had near infinite power to alter the world around me.
Ax said that its because the 3rd dimension was the only one truly 'grounded' in a physical sense. Places like Dimension 52, the Nightmare Realm or Dimension XYZ were existing in a partially metaphysical state and thus I could materialize there with my near infinite power intact. They were worlds and planets formed from 'thoughts' and 'imagination' so me being a master of the mind has a stronger presence there.
The irony wasn't lost on me that the dimension I had the least power over was the one LITERALLY FORMED FROM MY OWN FLESH. I was forcibly disconnected from it, ascended into the Mindscape. I would have to possess the pieces of my body in order to have a physical form. An object or a person. Anything like that.
But whatever. There were a ton of new places for me to be and see! I phased happily to a random dimension to explore.
——
The first time I personally killed someone, I was horrified.
There was screaming. A group of primitive life forms ran from me in fear. Before me was the charred remains of what once was a member of their kind.
I was just popping in to check on the newest species to gain true sentience in the multiverse. When I finally saw them, bipedal creatures with light blue or orange fur and wearing simple clothes made from leaves, I was thrilled. Earth still hadn't formed yet but the rest of the multiverse was coming along nicely. Plenty of alien dimensions and planets teeming with life for me to explore. And now there were beings who were aware enough to make clothing! Clothing!
I wanted to speak to them. I wanted to finally talk to someone who wasn't Ax or Time Baka. I was too hasty. I was so starved for social interaction. Luckily this wasn't in the 3rd Dimension, I had access to my powers here. I pulled particles out of the air around me and formed a quick physical form in order to interact with them. They all jumped in surprise as I appeared before them.
"Hello! My named is Bill Cipher and I'm so happy to meet you!" I exclaimed merrily.
They stared at me in silence and shock. Finally one of them threw a rock at me. It hit me right below my eye and I fucking LOST it.
There was a sudden and unexpected rush of RAGE. How DARE they?! DON'T THEY EVEN KNOW WHO I AM?!
Before I could stop myself I had already set fire to the insolent worm that dared to strike me. His screams were lovely to hear and I grinned in satisfaction at a well done Smite-ing.
That's when the others began screaming and snapped me out of it.
Oh god what have I done? Why did...why did I do that? I-I didn't...what was wrong with me? I looked around and saw that all the creatures were fleeing for their lives. They were terrified of me. I fucked up again.
"Wait! I'm sorry! I didn't mean to-!"
I had to talk to Ax. He'll know what to do!
I blinked away from the planet, the particles I left behind coming apart with a flash of light and leaving behind nothing but a smoking corpse and a village thrown in disarray. There would be stories told later of a shining golden Beast with one eye that could throw flames from its hands and kill without mercy.
---
"-nd I really didn't mean to do it! I swear I didn't! It just...happened!" I was rambling as I floated back and forth anxiously while fiddling with my bowtie.
Before me sat the AXOLOTL in silence. His gaze was without condemnation but it was solemn. I looked up at him with tears already streaming down my eye.
-I had hoped this wouldn't happen so soon.-
"You knew I would do that? What the hell even WAS that!"
-You are a creature of Destruction. A being that embodies pure Chaos. Your powers are effected by your emotions. The instinct to destroy. I am sorry. I did not realize you would be so effected by them.-
"So this is gonna be a thing now?! I can't stop it from happening?"
-You cannot stop your instincts or your emotions. But you can learn to control them. Control your temper, stifle your powers and keep a calm head.-
"Teach me please."
Ax truly did look sorry. I was freaking out. I'd never felt so....angry before. It was unsettling. Many more years of training and meditation ensued. It was boring and frustrating. I wanted to just quit and go do something else many times (my attention span has gotten a lot shorter since I've become Bill Cipher) but if there was one thing that separated me from the real Bill, it was my diligence and patience. I hated being bored but I had enough self control to continue trying. I don't want to lose control like that again.
Ax was surprised to learn that my Origami helped with the meditation process. I started materializing paper to fiddle with. The fact that I could set them on fire afterward helped to satiate my need for destruction.
Ax told me that I would always feel the need to destroy. It was part of what I am. I was Death itself. I just needed to find a better way to channel my 'urges' if I really didn't want to go around killing people.
I don't think I can ever express how much I owe Ax for always putting up with me and my problems. He was like a mentor or older brother (I would say he was like a father but the idea of calling Ax 'dad' brought up bad memories of Zyun-Jan's life.)
---