Kapitel 8: Chapter 8 – “Ranked Among Legends (Somehow)”
I was about seventeen minutes deep into what scholars would call a "god-tier nap."
You know, the kind where your body feels like it's syncing with the stone bench and your soul has temporarily resigned from employment.
The sun was warm, the shade was partial, and the villagers had finally stopped bringing me unsolicited bread.
Life was, dare I say, perfect.
Then the system ruined it.
[Global System Announcement: Hidden Leaderboard Updated!]
[Player ??? has entered the Top 100 Rankings.]
I twitched just enough to groan.
"Leaderboard? Bro, I didn't even stand up today."
The notification didn't care. It chimed again, louder.
[Rank #99 → Player ???]
[Reward: Fame Multiplier Activated.]
My eye cracked open.
The plaza around me went completely silent.
Villagers froze mid-task, mid-step, mid-breath.
Somewhere, a sheep dropped dead out of sheer drama.
The elder croaked, "Rankings…? Our savior is ranked… among the legends!?"
"Nope," I muttered into the bench wood.
"Must be another guy. I'm busy being horizontal."
Didn't even matter.
The villagers erupted like I'd just invented fire.
"He's world-famous!" someone screamed.
"Top 100! That means he's stronger than the Blazing Paladin!"
"Or the Iron Monk!"
"Or my cousin Gerald, who can do push-ups!"
The baker fainted into his own flour sack.
I rubbed my eyes. "Seriously? I doze off for fifteen minutes and now I'm competing with cardio maniacs?"
The system pinged again, extra smug this time.
[Leaderboard Confirmation: Player ??? → Current Rank: #96]
[Title Gained: 'Recognized by the World']
[Effect: Your naps now attract attention from long distances.]
"Cool just what I needed worldwide paparazzi while I drool."
A kid tugged at his mother's sleeve, eyes wide. "Mama, does this mean he's… legendary?"
She nodded solemnly.
"Hush, child. Don't disturb his sacred rest.
Heroes need REM cycles."
Another system ping.
[Passive Triggered: Idle Fame Aura Lv.1]
Effect: Villagers begin spreading exaggerated rumors about your power while you sleep.
Rumors.Plural.
Because of course that's what happened
Already, I overheard:
"He can kill vampires without moving." (Okay, fair.)
"He wrestled a dragon in his dreams." (False. I dreamed about stew.)
"He's so powerful, even his yawns echo across realms." (…I mean, maybe?)
My fame stat ticked upward like a rigged slot machine.
"Great," I sighed. "I'm climbing ranks faster asleep than some people do grinding for weeks.
That's… actually kind of hilarious."
Another announcement thundered across the sky, audible to everyone in a five-mile radius.
[Leaderboard Update: Player ??? → Rank #87]
Villagers gasped so hard it created a localized wind current.
A few literally bowed toward my bench in the state of mind.
Me? I just rolled over and muttered,
"Nice number," before resuming nap formation.
[Achievement Unlocked: Unshakable Ego]
Reward: +200 Bluff Stat | New Title: Legendary Recliner.
The villagers lost their collective minds.
Fireworks? No.
But if anyone had them, they'd already be blasting off.
I shut my eyes again, because at this point?
If the universe wanted to keep ranking me up for sleeping, who was I to argue?
Besides, all of this sounded like "future me's problem."
And current me?
Current me had a nap to finish
of course.
While I was busy drooling on my bench and climbing the rankings like some sleepwalking prodigy, the rest of the world was… not handling it well.
[Location: Hacker Guild Discord, "GlitchHunters-404"]
"Who the hell is this ??? guy?"
"No username, no footage, no kill logs—he just popped into the Top 100."
"Rank #87 in under a day? That's impossible unless…"
"…Unless he's hacking."
A dozen neon-lit basements across the world glowed with unhealthy energy drink fumes as self-proclaimed elite hackers squinted at my nonexistent profile.
Screens displayed data charts, damage logs, leaderboards.
All empty and my stat sheet? A literal shrug emoji.
One hacker adjusted his greasy headset. "Bro.
No inputs were recorded and no key logs. Did he… win by not moving?"
Silence.
Then, laughter,the kind that only sounds funny when you've had three nights of no sleep and too much caffeine.
"Alright," the hacker leader grinned.
"Challenge accepted. Let's crash his nap."
[Location: Game Developer HQ, Monitoring Room]
Meanwhile, somewhere in a sterile office filled with devs who regretted their career choices, red alerts started flashing.
"Sir, we've got a problem."
"What kind of problem?"
"The kind where a player ranked #87 without ever lifting a finger."
"…Explain."
The junior dev pointed at my profile. "Look—Achievements: Too Lazy To Die, Lounge Through a Boss Battle, Slayer Who Sat. None of these are… official."
The senior dev frowned. "What do you mean none of these are official?"
"I mean… they literally don't exist in our codebase."
The room went silent.
"So you're telling me," the senior dev rubbed his temples,
"that a man is generating new achievements by accident… and the system is rewarding him for it?"
"Uh. Yes."
Someone in the back muttered, "Honestly? Kind of impressive."
"Shut up, Kyle."
[Location: Somewhere Else – The Awakened NPCs]
And in another corner of the world—far from my blissfully snoring form—certain NPCs, the ones who had grown too self-aware of the system's quirks, were paying attention.
A merchant in a bustling city looked up as the leaderboard announcement echoed.
He frowned. "The Slayer Who Sat…"
A mercenary NPC cleaning his blade froze. "A mortal who rose to Rank 87… without fighting?"
Even the King's Advisor, a scripted quest-giver who normally just said the line
"Bring me ten wolf pelts," twitched, whispering: "The prophecy stirs…"
Rumors spread like wildfire across taverns and strongholds:
"A hero ranked among legends without effort."
"A chosen one whose stillness shakes the world."
"The Sleeper."
Back at my bench?
I sneezed loud enough to startle a pigeon.
The system chimed smugly.
[Passive Skill Triggered: Idle Influence Lv.1]
Effect: While you remain asleep, NPCs across regions begin spreading exaggerated rumors about your power.]
Awesome.
So even unconscious me had a marketing department.
Somewhere, an artist NPC was already sketching my drooling face onto wanted posters—but heroic ones, with glowing auras and holy symbols.
"Cool," I muttered in my sleep, barely aware of any of this.
Another global ping hit the skies.
[Leaderboard Update: Player ??? → Rank #72]
Villagers in my own plaza gasped so hard they probably developed lung damage. Meanwhile, half the world was scrambling to figure me out, and the other half was preparing offerings.
Me? I rolled over, scratched my nose, and kept snoring.
Because if the universe wanted to crown me legendary while unconscious, who was I to argue?
By the time the leaderboard had finished screaming my name to the entire world, the plaza around me had achieved a new stage of madness.
Apparently, lying perfectly still had become the hottest martial art trend.
A crowd of villagers had gathered in a circle around my bench, each one carefully mimicking my pose
Arms folded and one of my legs dangling.
Eyes squinted shut like they were trying to out-sleep me.
"Look at the serenity," whispered the blacksmith, sweat dripping as he held his plank-like stance. "Not moving is harder than it looks."
"Shh!" the baker hissed. "He's syncing his breath with the rhythm of creation!"
For the record, I was syncing my breath with the rhythm of snoring.
System chimed.
[Passive Influence Expanding...]
Rumor Created: 'The Recliner Style – A Lost Martial Discipline.'
Rumor Created: 'The Hero Meditates By Entering Death's Embrace.'
Rumor Created: 'Drool is holy nectar of sloth gods.'
…Yeah, this was getting out of hand.
One old lady had even started drawing a chalk outline of my position on the plaza stones, instructing kids to lie inside it like it was some sacred training circle.
"Feel the power of immobility," she intoned.
"Let his spirit guide you to enlightenment."
Meanwhile, system pinged again.
[Leaderboard Update: Player ??? → Rank #63]
[Achievement Unlocked: Cultural Phenomenon]
Reward: Fame +1,000 | New Title: 'Master of the Recliner Style.'
I cracked one eye open just enough to glare at the floating blue text.
"Cultural phenomenon? Bro, I was literally asleep. How is this my fault?"
The villagers gasped as if I'd just delivered a holy scripture.
"He speaks!"
"Words of wisdom!"
"Such humility…"
I groaned and flopped back down.
System rewarded me.
[Achievement Unlocked: Unshakable Ego (Enhanced)]
[Effect: Immune to Reputation Loss while Lying Down.]
Perfect.
Even my reputation system had realized I wasn't standing up anytime soon.
Across the world, artists and bards were already adapting.
Someone was sketching a fresco of me snoozing like it was the second coming.
A bard composed The Ballad of the Slayer Who Sat, which, according to the system, was currently trending in three taverns.
Rumors stacked higher.
"He once napped so hard it collapsed a dungeon."
"They say he levels up just by yawning."
"Beware the sleeper's wrath—he dreams in crit damage."
Meanwhile, me? I was busy drooling again.
And the system just wouldn't stop.
[Global Announcement: Player ??? → Rank #50]
[Achievement Unlocked: Halfway There Without Trying]
Reward: +2 Skill Points | Passive Unlock: Indolent Intuition Lv.1 – Gain temporary buffs while lying down in danger.]
That one actually made me snort awake.
"Okay, that's… kinda busted."
The villagers interpreted my snort as laughter.
"Even his mirth strengthens us!"
"Joyful Recliner blesses the land!"
I slapped a hand over my face.
"This is why I can't have naps in peace."
But the system had one last kick.
[Title Evolved: Legendary Recliner → The Sleeper Among Legends.]
Effect: Enemies are 20% more likely to underestimate you while unconscious.
I blinked at that one, then smirked faintly.
"Guess I'm climbing the ladder without climbing anything."
The crowd cheered, banners were waved, someone tried to build a hay statue of me again.
Me? I rolled over, pulled my hood down, and muttered the same line I'd been saying since forever:
"Wake me up when it actually matters."
And just like that—Rank #50, Legendary Sleeper, Cultural Icon, all while napping—I drifted right back into blissful unconsciousness.
Because apparently, doing nothing was the strongest strategy in the world.
Wöchentlicher Energiestatus
-- Power-
Rangliste 
-- Power-
Stein