Kapitel 1: The drag
"How are you feeling today Clara?" Dr. Jennis asks me, her glasses slightly crooked, her hands resting on top of the desk clamped together.
"I'm alright, never been better." I smiled brightly while fiddling with my fingers underneath her desk. The hem of my dress was ripped. I wonder where I ripped it.
"Hollie tells me you've been such a good girl this week, you took your medicine and ate all the food she brings you." I beamed upon hearing her compliment and averted my gaze back to my fingers shyly. "You're doing so well that Doctor Nipps might allow you to go out this weekend"
"Really?!" I exclaimed surprised, Doctor Nipps is such a strict person. I never thought a man like him would agree to let me out.
"Yes, really. We can go to the garden together and look at the beautiful flowers that bloomed this spring"
" I would love to!"
"Would you like to have picnic in the garden with me? We can talk about you and your friend together. You could tell me about what he's been doing lately" she smiled at me warmly, Dr. Jennis is such a kind woman, she always asks for my opinion and helps me whenever I ask for it. My heart kind of skipped a beat when she mentioned my friend, Dr. Jennis is the only one who asks about him.
I didn't know how to answer her, part of me thinks it's better not to talk about him. Dr. Jennis noticed my hesitation and she leaned forward towards me.
"You don't want to talk about him?" She asked softly. "You know you can tell me anything" she assured me.
"It's not that" I looked down, averting her gaze. She leaned back and we talked for few more minutes about what I did this week. She asked about my family, my recent art projects and she told me a little about herself as well, where she went this week and the book she began reading last night. After, she excused me and Hollie came to escort me back to my room.
"How was your talk with Dr. Jennis?" Hollie asked once we entered my room. I laid flat on my bed as soon as I entered and Hollie began folding my laundry.
"It was fine, she wanted to know how I was doing" I mumbled.
"You were in such a giddy mood when you left, did something happen?" I didn't answer, I didn't want to answer. I don't want to tell Hollie my conversation with Dr. Jennis. Hollie is the kind of woman who loves to gossip, and since she's been personally assigned to me I can't even avoid her.
"It's nothing, Dr. Jennis said she'll take me to the garden this weekend."
"We'll that's lovely. But why are you upset?"
"Well, I don't have any good outing dresses. I want to look nice" I made up an excuse. Is it believable?
"Oh I see, so that was the problem. Do not worry about it young miss. I will get you a very beautiful dress." She smiled as she put away my folded clothes on the shelves.
"Let me know if you need anything else, make sure to ring the bell when you need me" she left my room shutting the door gently. I looked at my ceiling and my mind began flooding with thoughts of todays events. Dealing with people is difficult, I do not want to chat uselessly with people I'm not comfortable with. But I have to, mother said I need to get better soon.
I miss him. He hasn't visited me in a while. I wonder what he is doing now? I walked over to my balcony and tied the curtains away so I could see the city properly. It was getting dark, the sun was setting and spreading its orange and pink rays across the bustling streets. The Hammock building stood firmly overlooking everything.
"Clara" ah, he calls me ever so gently. "I'm here" he whispers. My mind goes blank and I smile unconsciously. I turn around and there he stood right behind me, twirling the ends of my hair on his finger tips.
"How are you?" I asked, holding his hand in mine stepping closer and examining every inch of his face. The corner of his lower lips were ripped, his right eye was slightly blue and a scratch mark on his neck. I'm not sure wether that was made by an animal or a person.
" I got into an argument with one of my brothers, it got a little physical and I wasn't cautious enough"
"Did you get treatment?"
"Father looked so happy he won the fight against the weakest of his sons, that old man must be going insane" he chuckled walking over to the sofa and sitting down, I followed him and sat next to him.
Why didn't he answer my question, I did not ask about his father nor his brother, is he avoiding my question or did he not hear me?
"Did you fight with Rocili?"
"What a smart girl you are Clara," he caressed my face smiling gently at me
"You're right, it was Rocili." His eyes darkened, " He's nothing special, all he has going for him is his martial arts skills. I don't understand why father is so fond him. He's always fighting battles in wars, rarely home and stupidly ignorant of the voice of our people and I'm working relentlessly trying to get his approval, I even agreed to the foolish sword match"
"Is that why you haven't been able to visit me?" He looked me and hesitantly answered
"Yes, one of many reasons" what other reasons could there be, I wonder what he's hiding from me. "Listen, I won't be able to stay for long, but tell me what's going on with you?" He enquired
"I'm going to the garden on the weekends with Dr. Jennis. Would you like to come along?" He frowned, I could almost hear his thoughts 'what is she on about' of course he's been to plenty of gardens, he went to places I have never been. Why would he want to go to the garden with me.
"Clara you know I can't be seen by anyone else but you. You understand that right?" I felt a little disappointed, we used to go out often before, but not much these past few months. Does he not like me anymore?
"Clara, don't make that face please. It breaks my heart to see you hurt, I promise I'll go out with you when the time is right."
"When will that time be?" He looked frustrated, he sighed and faced away from me. He walked towards my balcony and looked out the window, resting one of his hand on the glass watching something intently.
"Soon Clara, very soon" he turned around facing me "I need to get going"
"Already? But you just arrived, did I bore you? I'm sorry can't you stay for a little longer?"
"No Clara, I don't have much time. Father will be looking for me. There will be a party held in the upcoming week. All the well known members of the royal family will be attending. I will be helping father with the preparation, so I won't be able to visit you for few weeks. But promise me one thing," he held my hand in his and kissed the top lightly.
"Don't tell anyone about me any more, not even Dr. Jennis. I could understand you not being able to keep secrets when you were a little girl, but you're much older now. You'll be turning fourteen this month no?" I nodded. He stroked my hair and smiled at me "What a good girl you are" every time he smiled at me this way, my heart flattered and my stomach turned. Only he makes me feel this way.
"Will you be visiting me on my birthday?"
"Of course, I cannot miss your birthday. I'll be here and we can celebrate it together. I must get going now, do not open your window to anyone and don't let outsiders in" he kissed my forehead and was about to leave.
"Evan" I called out his name, he gazed at me one last time and left after a little good bye wave.
"Don't leave me" I whispered though he was already gone, and I knew I wouldn't be able to hear from him for a while.