Another interesting rewrite, you added the reason why Georg hates muggles, something that is appreciated in the formation of the character, but that has generated doubts for me the first one is how old is Georg? Because I think he is 7, and in my opinion I think it would be better if the isolation would start earlier so that the resentment would be deeper, although this can be enlarged with Grindelwald's upbringing. The second doubt is did you decide to change Georg's personality to make him less dark? The doubt arises because in the first writing he seems to me a more sociopathic character more detached to human emotions, but it may be my impression. Finally and as a tip remember that Grindelwald is hated and wanted equally, so it is normal that he does not go in plain sight and that he is announced as Sirius Black in the third book in the Muggle news. Keep up the good work.
ch 0 3 Chapter Two, The legacy (rewrite)
Book&Literature · FrenchViking
Interesting first chapter rewrite, it's a bit more complex than the first writing, you're going to need to adapt Harry's training and student life to make him a Mc-equivalent opponent as the Harry of the books could never take on an opponent of that caliber. Good job.
ch 0 2 Chapter One, The Prologue (rewrite)
Book&Literature · FrenchViking
Well, in my opinion for magic you need both the physical and the mind, knowledge can be acquired, but you can't force the body to do something it's not ready for. But the main problem with doing such rapid development is that when it's done, stories tend to end prematurely, as the power of the character outweighs the plot development, unless you build a story in one fell swoop.
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Book&Literature · FrenchViking
If you want to get an idea of how amazing a story telling Harry's life after the seventh book is I recommend you read Casting Shadows and its prequel Harry Potter and they dance of death at Fanfiction.net.
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Book&Literature · FrenchViking
What I'm saying is that magical power in my understanding of the Harry Potter world comes with time and magical talent, as in real life with anything, so a child under 11 years old with a few months of training however talented he and his teacher may be, will hardly master complex spells and dueling tactics, in just a few months, plus this would probably stall the story prematurely by making a Dumbledore level wizard at 14 or 15 years old which would be a shame because very few Harry Potter fanfics reach the seventh book line and/or go over it. And this one possesses that potential.
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Book&Literature · FrenchViking
Good chapter, but I don't know if the mc's training goes too fast take into account his age and at what age you want the mc to be rendered useless in school. In my opinion given his age it would be better to concentrate on the more theoretical subjects and less on advanced spells until I entered a school. This to avoid stagnating the story in the early years. And also be careful in this chapter I felt a little radical change in his personality compared to the first chapter so it is better that you define well how you want the personality of the mc and you let yourself to it. But as always that's my opinion. If you want a reference of how a growth in strength can be more suitable with a powerful master I recommend you to read "A flower for the Soul" in ff although modifying the rhythm a little more even.
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Book&Literature · FrenchViking
I really liked how you approached the eye of Alastor and Grindelwald, it would be nice to see a number of Oc or canon characters direct family of Grindelwald's acolytes as central members of the Mc circle to contrast with the direct family members of the Death Eaters, which would create a darker aspect to Hogwarts. which has "a lot of light people".
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Book&Literature · FrenchViking
It's a totally gripping and immersive piece of writing, the writing is great and the character design is even better, not to mention that the secondary characters are also very well written. I haven't come across any Itachi fanfic that was so well done and I look forward to seeing how you continue to develop it. I hope you don't get discouraged and drop it.
Of Blood and Duty
Anime & Comics · Raven_Aelwood