jaro_onody - Profile

firtst chapter started strong, but after his traing it fell real hard. ..................................................................................

started verry intresting , but the moment he met atermis his personality did 180. also the way you write artemis is a bit lame where is the strong woman that hates man and would shoot you the moment she saw you.

reading so far im 90% sure this a translation. like decent one tho, beside the use off shy , he ,her and him this always puts me off in most translations . like where there a conversation between an male or female you cant tell who says what .

personaly not a fan of changing the pow every couple lines, it makes the story feel super slow , other than that abit unneeded details like pow from the maid and his sister this just made me skip alot of dialogs. not realy a fan of this writeting where 70% of the chapters dialog is from a side character ,only readed 10chap hope it changes somwhat. otherwise very desent

the biggest problem i have with fiction like this is the mc that feels the need to cath up on the story or story protagonist . im just like why, i dont realy understand that.you have only 10 years before canon starts fuck that you just rushed in and now youre in orario ,weak as fuck with op system that can give skills ,if you survive that is. and that is just not logical or intresting . even without the backstory this feels on unimaginative like most danmachi fics =mc get cheat power ---mc doest think and rushes to orario---mc strugels a bit but gets stronger---mc follows og story abit ----this the point most autors stop writeing or put the story on hiuatus becouse they lack creativtie

this might be one of best fics this seaon even tho that ladder ist that big.but still if it keep this kwality i have high hopes .....................

kind of sad this story could have been good ,but unfortunately its just a clump of random things put together that make no sens .as for the storyline itself it nonexting atm .

the only thing that i realy dont like is youre descrition of you story , you dont say in what novel he is reborn in .exorcist and demons there are letterly 10 other novels with that same name

BRUV the only thinh i dont like is that there are some chinese refrences but then i saw that you translate it from portugese and i was fuckkkk brother where is you portugese version

writing is average, doest have any deep dialogs or interesting things in it. mc is a openbook for everyone ,he letterly says everting about his powers tho the first person he meets even tho there is no reason to. Mc is pretty guilable and bit dom, doest show any personality . total score 3.0 not good but i seen worst first atemps stories on this site

not bad read, but the mc is not the brightest not stupid but yeah,for exaple he keeps showing his powers even tho he says that he wants to keep them secret. mc powers are visual you can see when he using it and what it does so saying that he doest want explain it to others sounds a bit stupid to me. you can lettery say its magic 99%of adventures dont even onderstand magic or how it works same for the most gods in the novel hestia and other magic gods tell that mortal magic is just the manifestation of there hart desire in other word gods dont realy now how mortal magic works

nice consept ......................................................................................................................................... ps don,t listen to others just keep writing what jou want