OsirysOsprey04 - Profile

I’ve read the available chapters and it time for a review. Writing quality: while it’s readable there are too many mistakes, the most relevant problem is your grammar. You should make a grammar check of your chapter, there are many free option to do so. This kind of error get annoying if encountered many times and it easily break the flow of the novel. Updates: just the start, don think too much of it.. bring your quality up first and then focus on stability Story development: The concept used is interesting and even if a easy story it’s well brought up. A little early to judge so I won’t say more. Character design: Well made, there are some loopholes but just the fact of not having clichés or developing them in original ways make them good. Just pay attention to keep the characters behaviour stable, it can change there has to be a reason. ( ps. The mc has passed 12 years in bliss without getting a head start, he was an adult already in mentality.. as of now while he’s not an idiot his still a little dull.) World background: You have wasted must potential. The arts of mortal kind never used?, sky arts are grass but earth are leprechauns and people kill for it? grandmaster level figures stay in a village? A little more description of the scenery would be appreciated. And more inconsistencies. All in all, it ’s not bad as a first work but there’s a lot to improve. Keep it up and get better author.

Great novel. It’s a little early to judge The world background but as of now has potential and is big enough to welcome the future development of the mc. The characters have different personalities and have a sense of being that make them feel alive. My advice is to add more characters to the story, in particular side ones, For example add the disciple or elder who request pills and artefact, storytelling their story.. If you do so every now and then, the story development will be much richer. The concept the novel revolves around is quite original and has a lot of potential.. Don waste it and strive for a top novel, Keep it up author

Nice novel The concept the author created are very good and are well implemented in the world background. There are some errors in the plot and the characters lack ‘ true emotion’, Another thing regard the MC, he’s not an idiot, but not that smart either. Try to give him a faster mental growth, the mask should heavily influence his other self. Moreover, the stronger the smart. He doesn’t need to be a genius, but if he can multitask and fight so well then he should not need the system reminder or fall in his own forgetfulness. All in all, it’s a very nice Novell that, if correctly improved, can be brought to a higher level. In my opinion the author have hope of writing top novel in the future, so keep it up.