Vice Captain of the Straw Hat Pirates

LV 3

EpicGamer123

Great story! Glad it's not your typical OP from the start MC. He starts off really weak but is progressing at a nice pace. Also cool that he's encouraged the rest of the crew to train more too. Particularly Nami and Usopp. They've got so much untapped potential that is literally waiting to burst out. Only thing that I've found a bit iffy, and they aren't even too big, is 1. Why's bro keep calling Luffy captain? Like, I get he's your captain, but he's also your friend. Call him Luffy in normal situations, but call him captain in serious ones. And 2. I feel he's giving out too much information. I know he's set up a background where it would make sense, but that background is a pretty weak one which could be easily popped, and doesn't explain why he's knows so much about certain individuals. Some things I suggest for your story, which aren't really too involved with your character as I like him. 1. Add onto his "backstory". 2. For close combat, when you reach Skypeia, have Usopp implement dials into his Hammer for close range. Maybe also have him get those bouncy boots from the Shandians (Can't remember too well, it's been quite a while). 3. Make them spar and learn off each other. By now I feel at least Robin, Franky, and Brook should've unlocked some basic haki. We've got 4 masters of it on board the ship now, there aren't much excuses. It would be cool if SH were like a Rocks second coming, although on a much smaller scale. Where all the Strawhats in their prime are atleast 3rd Commander level. And last 4. Please add in some wholesome canon chapters. Where it's not all about plot, and it's just the crew getting up to their same old shenanigans. That's all from me, sorry for the word vomit. Just wanted to get across to you how good your story is and possible things to consider. I know you've already gotten a lot of comments on it, and you've already responded, but I just wanted to emphasize how much you can't drop. Thanks!

LV 11

Evil_Paragon

After reading a few comments today, it made me realize something. Sorry, but this story is not for you. It doesn't matter whether you read it or not. I don't care if you drop it. All I want to say is that I write this story because I love One Piece. And, I am writing fanfiction. If you don't like the idea then you can easily drop it and clear it from your library. But those who like it should stay whether it is the best moment of the story or the worst moment of the story. Because every moment matters. So, I am going to delete any kind of review if you just give it based on your feelings rather than understanding the story. Because I don't believe that if you understand the story or are willing to wait for more to understand it better then you wouldn't remove a star unless it is for writing quality. I can assure you that.

LV 4

pafro

I'm at chapter 61, story was good MC joined strawhats for a good reason but the mc quickly becomes stale and lacks personality. additionally, MC gets a horrible devil fruit that is based on luck from the author and it doesn't feel like a one piece power more like nen. so I lost interest and stopped reading it 3/5 not horrid just disappointing

LV 15

Teaalk

It was a good story unti the author came up with the MC's devil fruit. It is such a stupid devil fruit in my opinion. After all it is not based on the ability of the MC but on the luck the author is willing to gift him. After that I lost all interest in the story. If you want to read an MC whose main ability is to gamble with the luck the MC is given by the author it is THE story for you, but if you are like me and you want to to read a story about a MC who is relying on his own strenght, then this story is not for you.

LV 5

fangman

It was good before the reveal of the devil fruit of mc its just the ability of the fruit is complicated and its going in the same pattern as the other one piece fanfiction i read, because the ability of the fruit is complicated it will fall in the same category of the other story of excuse of rewrite or drop or loss interest or no idea to navigate the story sooner or later it will definitely happen im sure of of it so sorry

LV 2

TruthHurtsX1000

Story is decent just not for me. Author doesnt care about any input and thats fine when its just like add harem this or give god powers but author deletes comments or reviews that have 100% corrective criticism for improvement. Bashes anyone that doesn't agree as well so yeah. This probably be deleted but i have it saved anf screenshot to add again lol good luck with story

LV 4

WalterHeisenberg

BRO THE AUTHOR GAMBLED AND LOST!😂😂😂😂 HE REALLY GAVE THE WORST DF!!!!!! HE EVEN DELETES 3 STAR n BELOW REVIEWS 💀💀💀💀

LV 14

evolvedcat

Honestly love it so far and I hope you take it far. So please don’t drop it then make my heart slowly chip away with each day you don’t update it

LV 4

Daoofmilk

Writing quality is bad. Grammar is passable but author doesn't have a lot of creativity. Story development is bad as well. author doesn't wanna change canon and when he does it's unrealistic. character design is again bad. MC doesn't have a very defined personality and as the story progresses the author makes no attempts to define it. The Mc also takes the spot of the canon characters (Mc does what the original character) so nothing new to be added to the universe of one piece just author's very bad self-insert. I have no problem with author's who have their OC's and SI join the canon crew but if they don't change canon in any impactful way then what's the point? also why add an OC/SI if your just gonna have them do what another characters would've done. I'm also certain the author deleted bad reviews because a story this bad definitely wouldn't have anything above 2 stars. but this is webnovel and most reviews are just people putting 5 or 1 stars and then filling the word requirement on the review without actually explaining what's good or bad about the novel

LV 4

Whitestair_Ivory

Hmmm, not a single review under 4 stars yet there are dozen of 5 star spam reviews..... i smell something sus. Like there are 0 reviews that criticized it it's all just biased "Ohh i love it" type of ones without a single information from the ff.

LV 13

WhiteZz

will it be harem? .

LV 1

Jhon_4525

Very boring story with such a dumbly boring devil fruit if you wanted a power that had to do with luck you could have used the baccarat fruit

LV 2

SpearofAdun

I stopped at chapter 35. reason like everyone else I don't like fruits that depend on luck. Unfortunately, I finally found a fun novel to read.

LV 4

Alwaysleepy

Good story dum devile fruit ,i don't think introducing some of the strongest charecters this early is a good thing. But i like the way you think i belive in you

LV 1

sh1sh0ff

needmoreneedmoreneedmoreneedmoreneedmoreneedmoreneedmoreneedmoreneedmoreneedmoreneedmoreneedmoreneedmoreneedmoreneedmoreneedmoreneedmoreneedmoreneedmoreneedmoreneedmoreneedmoreneedmoreneedmoreneedmoreneedmore

LV 3

Hot_mature_5km

One of the worst things on this platform, I don't understand how it has such a high rating, it implies that those who read this are bots or the author deletes the bad reviews[img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap]

LV 14

LuminousRequiem

It's interesting story... wish u don't drop it... well that only my opinion[img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update]

LV 5

Jr_DemonGod

i like it thus far but What i find ridiculous is how he is able to learn techniques so fast; yes, the author mentioned that he used to imitate their techniques in his previous life, but i highly doubt anyone would put a lot of their time and effort to master a fictional technique from an anime, not to mention that the training for said techniques was barely shown (i think), and the muscle memory he had is gone since his body changed, yet he learned them in less than a month? And all of this is assuming he had a deep foundation of martial arts (knowing how to breathe while fighting, experience whit leg and sword related martial arts, etc.)in his previous life (that, based on a couple of comments throughout the book he doesn't seem to). If he didn't, then whatever "imitation" of techniques he did in his previous life was nothing more than chobyuou syndrome, meaning useless, and he learned techniques that will later evolve into one of the strongest techniques (i know he only mastered a couple of moves but it's still too much) of one piece in a ridiculously short amount of time. i hope that when liam back story is revealed or when his super regenerating powers origins are revealed this will be addressed sooner rather than later.

LV 4

Sebastym

You could let him get Enel's lightning fruit after he dies and before that just get better at all the basics of how to fight, build his base xd.