/ Eastern / Heartless Immortal
概要
The desire to become immortal is something that is felt by many people. Whether it's a desire for eternal life, or just a longing for a world where you can be the master of your own destiny, you cannot deny that this wish has driven people to do great things.
No heroine, No harem, No romance, No system, IQ online, dark stream, benefit stream,
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24レビュー
4.4
- 翻訳品質
- アップデートの安定性
- ストーリー展開
- キャラクターデザイン
- 世界の背景
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well evil mc and ı say it again evil mc but ı like evil mc and extremly evil mc well evil mc is good how many words has ıt been evil mc evil mc
If you want a story with an Evil and scheming MC this story is for you. For the evil part you only have to read the first chapter to know that, but for the scheming part you need to read around 30 chapters. The reason I like this story is because the MC is smart and evil but it makes sense and the people around him are also smart. It is not like in other stories where they have “smart MC’s” but everyone around them is stupid. The only bad thing is that some interesting parts are skipped over (the war before his child is born).
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You asked for honest feedback, so I have been quite candid in this review. This does not mean I did not enjoy your story, or finds it immensely lacking. I am simply trying to help you progress by giving you some pointers. Firstly, your dialogue comes across as wooden and unnatural. I believe it would help if didn’t put as much exposition in your dialogue. Secondly, there is an absence of rhythm in your writing. I miss a cadence when reading your story. It does not necessarily withhold me from immersing myself, but it would help pull in your reader. Lastly, and this one is more personal, but as a reader I wish for more texture. What are the surroundings like? How is the air? Does it smell? Is it clear? Is the sun blinding to the eyes? I want to feel like I am there with you characters. Give me the cracks in the pavement and the chipped paint of shop signs. Give me the feel of the wind and the smell of spices in the air. That’s what transforms a story from good, to great. And that’s what pulls in your reader. Overall, I believe this story has a lot of potential. It has a clear storyline with good characters, and writing. Well done!
The story follows an evil MC, which is my kind of thing. This genre is quickly becoming popular as the plethora of cookie cutter goody two shoes MCs are becoming stale fast. The author does a good job of portraying the evil acts committed by the MC as being logical and driven by personal gains and not as being cartoonishly evil. This makes the reader question what is right and what is correct, is a act driven by self interest right even if it's not always morally correct? I personally can't wait to follow Ying Zheng on his journey. PS. Also the *snafu* *snafu* are quite hot
To be honest, there are two things you need to fix. Firstly, the use of punctuation for some of the dialogues, it'd be better if you insert commas. Secondly, you always repeating the action but also including it in your dialogue e.g. He sighed. "Sigh..." In this situation, if you already wrote the character's action, you don't need to express it in the dialogue because readers could tell the character was sighing
Hey, I am the author of the book, and I would like to shamelessly promote my book. The protagonist in the novel is an evil mc and will get a lot of character development in the future
Amazing book love the writer's amazing how much I love the idea of a new era of villains and the updating speed is amazing and I love it keep up the good work 💼
This is the author's second account as you can tell I post dark mtl novels on this account with 5 chapters a day forgive my shamelessness for giving myself 5stars while it deserves 1 star
Wow. This book is such a mind blowing... As i read Synopsis I was forced to read the few chapters. Amazing work! keep writing !
Amazing book loved it fun to read great character design and development great world building fun and easy to enjoy and lose yourself in. The characters feel alive and love/hate the villain mc
This book is amazing just not my cup of the tea. I am still reviewing it to let you all know this book for those who read these types is amazing. I hope you have best of luck author.
Wow. Just wow. I have absolutely no words. The author was incredible with the descriptive writing, I almost felt like I was there. Well done, keep up the good work.
well, the story passes the message but I would say a great job to the author, managing to get all characters in place and hoping to see more work than this in the future.
I swear to God this story is interesting. The person who wrote this is very creative I insist that he/she keeps it up. This writer is exactly saying what is happening and I support them on tha
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I am currently enjoying the story although it’s still at it start if it goes on and develop i think there is a chance for this to become the new big thing. An importan thing that destroy many stories with “evil” mc is that the author becomes afraid and bit by bit turn him into a generic good guy. [img=fp]
great, shsuebeussjevsuxjbdbshehshsjsjejjejejsjshshshsnsjjsjdjejdjrhdhdhsitzktzktzktzktxlyslyslyzktzktzktxkxktyxlyxlyxlxotxlxkxocotxlu7_65, 350%58