True, he's tired after all
Aiden said as he tossed his socks into the laundry basket. He just returned from school and exhaustion had taken the best out of him.
Fantasy · The_little_boy
I've only read the first few chapters, but I can say that the story is off to a good start. There are a few grammatical errors here and there, but nothing major, there is space for improvement; overall, good story; good luck, author!
この本は削除されました。
crazy and prideful teachers are the worst
ch 0 5 Magic Awakening Exams
Fantasy · The_little_boy
maybe?
ch 0 2 Absorbed A Star
Fantasy · The_little_boy
You would know soon
ch 0 2 Absorbed A Star
Fantasy · The_little_boy
Don't worry, I will finish soon and post more chapters!
ch 0 8 The Library
Fantasy · The_little_boy
Thanks for the encouragement
thanks for the review!
What were the civilians doing here. I thought they would have to evacuate people when something like this happened...
The king's flames were blue and orange and burned patches of the creature's skin, causing it to roar in pain and release a circle of flames into the air. The king dodged the flames, but just then, the creature leaped into the air and landed past the knights where a few civilians were.
Fantasy · Darkswan
Too much description here too
He was tall, muscular, yet slim, with short purple and black hair, a slim face with a broad jawline, and green eyes similar to Myalis's, though not as shimmering.
Fantasy · Darkswan
Too much description of physical description here
A small Narvir, which had a fox-like body, bird-like wings, a small face, two tails, bright blue eyes, a black beak, and was galaxy black in color with white flower patterns on its body, materialized before her out of nowhere.
Fantasy · Darkswan
The sentence is too long. Would be better if you divided the contents into multiple lines making it more readable
Within the world of Zutrana, where monsters and humans formed alliances, treasure-filled dungeons were raided by adventures, and people connected with the various elements. There were many powerful nations and kingdoms, some of which broke apart as a result of others with much greater power, which caused the others to fall from grace and become lowly pets to the higher authorities.
Fantasy · Darkswan
Great chapter but the sentences are inexpressive and a little too short. So are the scenes. I think you should add more emotion to your words, and also write more descriptive scenes...
この本は削除されました。
Thanks
ch 57 Unknown Future...
Fantasy · The_little_boy
*
"Whatever," Ace snorted and turned to Chelsea. "Chelsea, why did you decide to stay undercoveebby becoming the librarian?"
The Lightning Legacy
Fantasy · The_little_boy